本章的key message：西格蒙德·弗洛伊德的享樂原則和童年影響論。

弗洛伊德作品的永恒宗旨之一是享樂原則，或者說人類傾向于享樂而擺脫痛苦的原則。

根據弗洛伊德認為，孩童時期的我們完全受享樂原則的控制。 但是隨后，隨著我們的成長以及社會規則和期望變得越來越明顯，我們學會了不要沉迷某些沖動，例如偷竊或用拳頭打人。

問題是，這種對愉悅性原則的抑制往往會導致神經癥。

例如，已婚婦女可能會發現自己被其他人所吸引，并且在壓制這些禁忌的感覺時，可能會導致神經官能癥，使她對伴侶產生癡迷的嫉妒。

這種不良的結果就是為什么弗洛伊德認為抑制或忽略我們的感受和欲望是徒勞的。 相反，我們需要找到有意識地應對它們的建設性方法。

Sigmund Freud's ideas about pleasure and the influence of our childhood on our lives are still relevant.

Even though he was a highly successful doctor in his day, Sigmund Freud was also an unhappy workaholic. But it’s safe to say that much of his hard work paid off, as there is a great deal of Freudian wisdom that can still be applied today.

One of the lasting and primary tenets of Freud’s work was the pleasure principle, or the human tendency to move toward pleasure and away from pain.

In Freud’s estimation, as children, we’re completely controlled by the pleasure principle. But then, as we grow and society’s rules and expectations become more apparent, we learn not to indulge certain impulses, like stealing or punching annoying people in the nose.

The problem is, this suppression of the pleasure principle often leads to neuroses.

For example, a married woman might find herself attracted to someone else, and in suppressing these forbidden feelings, a neurosis could result through which she becomes obsessively jealous toward her partner.

This sort of undesirable outcome is why Freud suggested it was futile to suppress or ignore our feelings and desires. Instead, we need to find constructive ways of consciously coping with them.

Since we’re still in childhood when we need to swiftly adapt to social realities, Freud believed that this is when we’re at the biggest risk for developing neuroses, and it’s why he advised people to start consciously working on themselves at an early age.

To be as specific as possible, Freud differentiates several phases during childhood. They include:

The oral phase, which is the first year of childhood, when breastfeeding plays such an important role. Freud found that those receiving too little breast milk can develop eating disorders, which can include using food to soothe emotional distress.

From age one to three is the anal phase, which is when a child learns to use a toilet. Freud also believed it to be a time when strong feelings of parental acceptance or rejection are developed. If the child refuses to obey the parent during toilet training, it could result in “anal-retentive” personality traits later in life, like an unwillingness to spend money.

There’s also the phallic phase, around age six, which is when sexual feelings begin to develop and can first be directed toward the parents, especially the mother. And if the mother has a cold and chastising personality, this can lead to the child growing up to associate love with this frosty attitude for the rest of his life.

These ideas still offer valuable insight into childcare and education today, especially in terms of how important it is to avoid harsh punishment and ridicule at an early age, and the effect this can have on healthy personal development.