Recently I’ve already made a choice about my path which determines my growth direction for at least five years, that is to engage in the research as a Ph. D. student.
前段時間我決定讀博，這個選擇決定了至少未來五年我的奮斗方向。
It supposed to be a good thing for me cause it was the initial goal for myself. But as I reached, I started to imagine something bigger. In fact, I tend to be like this, always be unsatisfied about myself how matter what situation I am in. In addition, after I realized the road that almost people conducted, the thought that it should not be my path was haunting in my deep heart. Think about that, you spend about five years, and then act as a teacher in an ordinary college with no fierce competition, no longer development. You just become a normal person and it’s your end. That’s it. Actually it’s so comfortable and admirable for a lot of people. But that’s not my way.
讀博對我而言應(yīng)該是一件好事，因為它是我最初的目標(biāo)，而且我經(jīng)過努力而實現(xiàn)了。但一旦我夠到了這個目標(biāo)，我就開始不安分了。實際上，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我就是這樣，似乎一直對自己的現(xiàn)狀不滿意，不論目前的處境是怎樣的。另外，當(dāng)我意識到大部分博士生畢業(yè)之后就進(jìn)入了普普通通的高校，一生的高度基本就決定了，甚至就到頭了，而我，很可能也這樣時，我心里是很不甘的，甚至是很焦躁的！事實上，大學(xué)老師是很舒服，也是很多人所羨慕的，但這遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)不是我讀博的目標(biāo)和期望。
Several days ago, I chatted with a friend who graduated as a doctor and found a job in a college. “Life is peaceful and enjoyable”，he told me. Ever,he had admired that type of life that he could wake up naturally every morning. Now he reached it. That’?it. But that’s not what I want. Yes, it’s so comfortable, but I cannot endure.I just cannot tolerate the mediocre life. I want to pursue something bigger than myself. Even, the feeling that the great age is calling for me strikes me deeply.
幾天前和一個博士師兄聊天，他現(xiàn)在在一所大學(xué)任教。“生活很愜意，也很舒服”，他告訴我。當(dāng)初他就希望以后能每天睡到自然醒，而現(xiàn)在，他實現(xiàn)了自己的目標(biāo)。但這不是我對生活的愿望。是的，這種生活很舒服，但我忍受不了。內(nèi)心深處，我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己還是想追求更廣闊的事物。這個時代在召喚著我們。
To know what you want and struggle for it. That’s the answer for those who are confused about their lives. Luckily, after so many decisions I’ve made this year, I gradually know what I want. I want to release myself. I want to engage in the tidal wave of the great age and to achieve my own value. I want to challenge myself when I still have the chance.
知道你自己想要什么，并為之努力奮斗。這是很多多自己人生迷茫的人的答案。很慶幸，在我還年輕的時候，我知道自己大概想要什么樣的生活。我想在時代的大潮流中拼搏一番，趁自己還年輕，有時間的時候。
Ever, I wasted my college life that I have to start from the lower position. But now I stand up. It’s my time to value myself and I will not act like the almost people. I will not accept the future that I get through the five year’s study life and graduate with a job in an ordinary college ultimately. I will make a breakthrough about the doctoral career. To stay in American, or find a high-end job, maybe. If I cannot do that, it will be a failure of my doctoral time and I will definitely be ashamed about myself.
曾經(jīng)，我耽誤了大學(xué)時光，以至于現(xiàn)在起點很低。但現(xiàn)在我醒悟了，也明白了！從今之后，是我釋放自己的時候了，為的就是不像一般人那樣活。我不會接受自己，讀博五年后，找一個一般的大學(xué)，然后人生就安歇了。讀博的這些年，我要突破博士的一般發(fā)展路徑。畢業(yè)時找一份很高端的工作，或者留在美國。如果我做不到這點，那么，就請接受自己平平淡淡的現(xiàn)實吧！這也意味著，整個博士五年的失敗，我也要為現(xiàn)在的狂妄羞愧。因為這就是典型的，才華匹配不了夢想。
Actually this is not easy for it’s even so hard for almost people to graduate as a doctor. So their is no way to achieve this as I worked as what I used to be. In the past, although I work hard, and succeed accordingly, it just acted as linear growth, slowly. And in the next five years, I must pursue the mutation about my growth. That’s the only way to achieve my goal.
實際上，要實現(xiàn)這樣的目標(biāo)很不容易。因為很多人即使畢業(yè)都很難。所以，如果我還沿襲之前的努力程度、學(xué)習(xí)方式等，幾乎是不可能做到這一點的，即使我之前也很努力，并且也取得了一些成績。因為，之前的進(jìn)步，太慢了，而且是線性的。所以，在未來幾年，我必須實現(xiàn)成長上的突變，才能實現(xiàn)我的目標(biāo)。
To do this, I will treat myself with high demand. I will work so hard and keep challenging myself, raising the bar. And I will enjoy the feeling, to make me suffer, uncomfortable, even painful.
為了做到這一點，我將更加嚴(yán)格地要求自己。我將持續(xù)不斷地努力奮進(jìn)，并且不斷挑戰(zhàn)自己，提高自己的基線。以后的成長將會很不舒服，甚至很痛苦，但我將喜歡這種痛并快樂著的感覺。
Maybe it’s so hard to hang on keeping extremely regular schedule and getting up so early every morning. Then do it.
也許，極其嚴(yán)格的作息，每天晨起很難，但我會做到的！
Maybe it’s so hard to control myself strictly all the time. Then do it.
也許，極度自律很難，那就極度自律吧！
Maybe it suffers to take the cold shower all the time, especially with the cold water in Maybe Guiyang’winter, then do it.
也許，堅持冷水浴很痛苦，特別是冬天的時候，但我會做到的！
Maybe it’s so nervous to take part in the English Corner where almost people speak excellent English and you just can bare do that, then do it.
也許，去英語角會讓我很緊張，很忐忑，在那些口語很牛的人之間局促不安，但我還是會去的，而且會堅持去的！
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To grow with no limits. To grow with mutation. To make me suffer.
不設(shè)限，野蠻成長，難受吧；這就是我日后學(xué)習(xí)生活工作的指導(dǎo)原則，我將會將此準(zhǔn)則深深地刻在心中，處處以此為做事準(zhǔn)則。
All above ,if you can not do them , then please accept your plain life. Because you just have no that talent to release yourself.
如果我以后做不到以上幾點，那么，就請我自己接受自己的平淡吧！因為我沒有那個才華！
