Words

1 . coast

What this kind of comperative information doesn't tell you is that perhaps Johnny is going on all eight cylinders while Caroline is coasting on four of her eight.

to be successful at something without much effort:

例：They scored three goals in the first half and from then on United were coasting.

2.cylindr[?s?l?nd?r]

working / firing on all 'cylinders

?(informal) using all your energy to do sth; working as well as possible

? 竭盡全力；盡力干好；開足馬力

3.apply yourself

You've got the ability, but you just don't apply yourself.

to work very hard on something for a long time.

例：You need to prove to an employer that you can apply yourself.

造句：You need to apply yourself to read this book

4.welfare

I'm only interested in your welfare.

someone’s welfare is their health and happiness:

例：Our only concern is the children’s welfare.

造句：Comparing one's wealth with his welfare, the latter is more important.

5.square

If your private performance doesn't square with your public performance, it's very hard for me to open up with me.

square (something) with something if you square two ideas, statements etc with each other or if they square with each other, they are considered to be in agreement:

例：His story simply does not square with the facts.

造句：I‘ll take the day off, if I can square with my boss.

Summary

We had read the parts about private victory which precedes the public victory. This week, we begin to learn the public victory.

An effective interdependence is based on how to build good relationship with others. To achieve this, we can try create an emotional bank that describes the trust between people. This bank includes six major deposits, understanding the individual, attending the little things, keeping commitments, clarifying expectations, showing personal integrity and apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal.

Habit 4: Think Win/Win

Six paradigms of human interactions are win/win, win/lose, lose/win, lose/lose, win,? and win/win or no deal. Of the previous five paradigm, which option is best? Well, it depends on the situation, but most of the time, win/win, the one that seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions, wins. Besides, if individual had not come up with a solution agreed on both, they can choose a solution to go for compromise, the one called win/win no deal.

Think win/win is the habit of interpersonal leadership. It is fundamental to success in all our interactions, and it embraces five interdependent dimensions of life. Those are character, relationships, agreements, system and process.

Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

To understand first can inspire trust and openess, and this can be achieved by empathic listening. We should constantly remind ourselves to be patient, as we usually intend to reply in autographical responses.? After that, we can seek to be understood. The three words contain the essence of making effective presentation are your character, your relationship and then the logic of your presentation.Habit 5 is an inside-out approach that is in the circle of your influence.

感想

Habit4 和 Habit5 都告訴我們與對(duì)方有效溝通或建立良好的關(guān)系都必須建立在互相理解的基礎(chǔ)上。就算是habit4 的共贏也是需要雙方都很清楚各自的目的才有可能實(shí)現(xiàn)。

但是在平常的溝通中，我們總是疏于傾聽，急著想表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)，所以才有那么多孩子和家長(zhǎng)間有代溝，因?yàn)榧议L(zhǎng)總覺得自己的所有觀點(diǎn)都是對(duì)的，而沒有了解孩子真正的需要和發(fā)現(xiàn)孩子真正在遭受的困難。

除了傾聽，我們還要學(xué)會(huì)表達(dá)自己，如果你自己的想法都沒辦法表達(dá)清楚，對(duì)方怎么能相信你的想法。我自己也是那種喜歡用lose／win方式的人，覺得多一事不如少一事，所以大多數(shù)情況下我是想聽他人的觀點(diǎn)，就算我的觀點(diǎn)與他不一樣也會(huì)盡可能說服自己不要開口。其實(shí)這不僅是一種偷懶，不愿意思考；也是一種無效的溝通，因?yàn)槲业膬?nèi)心根本沒有同意對(duì)方的想法。一個(gè)好的presentation不僅僅是需要有嚴(yán)密的邏輯性，其實(shí)還是在考驗(yàn)?zāi)愕腸haracter，能不能讓他人對(duì)你產(chǎn)生信任，從而建立relationship。這樣看來演講真的是一項(xiàng)考驗(yàn)綜合實(shí)力的技能。