2017.7.20
Words and phrase
1.Everything is a blur.
blur：something that you cannot see clearly 模糊的東西
e.g.If I don’t wear my glasses, everything is a blur.
2.If you'd apply yourself like your older sister does, you'd do better and then you'd like school.
Apply yourself:? to work very hard on something for a long time
e.g. In order to get a good mark in your final exam, you need to apply yourself.
3.Empathic listening gets inside another person's frame of reference.
frame of reference: a particular set of beliefs, ideas or experiences that affects how a person understands or judges sth(影響人理解和判斷事物的)信仰和準則
e.g. Everyone has his own frame of reference.
4.I really tried to put myself in his shoes.
in sb’s shoes: in someone else’s situation, especially a bad one
e.g. Put yourself in his shoes, you will understand him deeply.
Thoughts
habit5----Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
看到這里還是有所觸動了一下，我們總是喜歡以"我是為你好"的態度去溝通，實質上是這只是自己的"一面之詞"，是根據自己的情況而言，根本就沒有理解到對方的真實需求與感受，沒有站在對方的角度來看待問題，去切身體會，最后是你在"苦口婆心"，但根本打不動不了別人的心。就如我有一個很要好的朋友，我總是勸他多閱讀，不要老是一有時間就玩游戲。以"為他好"的理由，不斷的跟他說，多閱讀可以自我提升，但最后發現根本就沒有用處，他就是左耳進，右耳出。現在我明白，我是以自身的角度去站在他的處境上，我認為閱讀不可或缺，所以多閱讀總是有好處的。但我并沒理解他，沒有明白他不喜歡閱讀，所以再怎么努力也是徒勞一場。
要先有共鳴的理解，才能處理好一切的事情。
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