堅(jiān)持?jǐn)z入原汁原味的英文的話,總是會(huì)聽(tīng)到、讀到非常地道的英文表達(dá)方式,然而提筆忘字,到了自己要用的時(shí)候,又回到那套中文直譯英文的習(xí)慣。記錄這個(gè)系列,就是要聚沙成塔,改良自己的表達(dá)習(xí)慣。詞都不難,關(guān)鍵怎么用,用在哪兒。
今天主要的材料來(lái)自The Economist的一篇文章,Technology and jobs:Coming to an office near you,今天采用的形式是我對(duì)照ECO中文網(wǎng)的翻譯進(jìn)行快速的中翻英,然后與原文對(duì)比,從中了解自己的不足。自己對(duì)比分析可能有錯(cuò)誤,歡迎批評(píng)指正共同學(xué)習(xí)。
當(dāng)今的技術(shù)必然會(huì)給未來(lái)的工作產(chǎn)生巨大的影響。
譯文:Current technology is bound to bring a huge blow to the future job.
原文:The effect of today’s technology on tomorrow’s jobs will be immense.
對(duì)比:很簡(jiǎn)單的一個(gè)句子,但也有啟發(fā)。除了big, huge一類,你有想到過(guò)immense么?比起current/future,today/tomorrow的組合是不是更自然也更押韻?我的譯文還有三個(gè)問(wèn)題——1)huge blow指巨大打擊,然而這里只是影響;2)并沒(méi)有bring a huge blow的說(shuō)法;3) 此處jobs比the job正確。
伴隨著數(shù)字革命,眾多只需要中等技能就能完成的工作,都遭遇了和當(dāng)年織布工一樣的命運(yùn),而這些工作都曾是20世紀(jì)的中產(chǎn)階層賴以生存的基礎(chǔ)。
譯文:With the digital revolution, masses of jobs calling for only medium-level skills faces the same fate with the weavers then. Meanwhiles these jobs are the basis of living for the 20th century middle class.
原文:The digital revolution has displaced many of the mid-skill jobs which underpinned 20th-century middle class life. They have been dispensed with, just as the weavers were.
對(duì)比:這句翻譯的很羞恥……太中式了……主賓結(jié)構(gòu)比with結(jié)構(gòu)要簡(jiǎn)潔,mid-skill jobs比冗長(zhǎng)的伴隨狀語(yǔ)要簡(jiǎn)潔。當(dāng)然這句的核心在underpin一詞,the basis of living for翻的是什么鬼……還有其實(shí)我和displace也不是太熟,displace有replace的意思“替代”,但是替代掉中等技能工作的是技術(shù)革命帶來(lái)的發(fā)明而不是技術(shù)革命本身,此處應(yīng)該用“移開(kāi)”意更恰當(dāng)?
在堅(jiān)信技術(shù)進(jìn)步會(huì)讓這個(gè)世界變得更加美好的人(包括本報(bào)在內(nèi))看來(lái),這種沖擊是的走向富足一個(gè)必經(jīng)之路。
譯文:In the eye of those, including us, who firmly believe that technology advances will make the world better, this impact is a necessary path to affluence.
原文:For those, including this newspaper, who believe that technological progress will make this world a better place, such churn is a natural part of rising prosperity.
對(duì)比:"Heal the world, make it a better place……”歌詞記的很好,寫(xiě)起來(lái)就忘腦后了,只是很小的差別,但是也覺(jué)得better place的說(shuō)法更自然。churn是什么意思呢?“攪動(dòng)”。這里可以說(shuō)中譯不是特別準(zhǔn)確。然后就是這句的重點(diǎn)了。當(dāng)然, path to的說(shuō)法是存在的,但是并沒(méi)有necessary path to這種用法!而原文作為一種表達(dá)方式也是要學(xué)習(xí)的,a natural part of V+ing noun., “通向”的動(dòng)態(tài)感埋在V+ing的進(jìn)行時(shí)中。
100年前,在每三個(gè)美國(guó)工人中就有一個(gè)人在農(nóng)場(chǎng)中干活,如今雖然這個(gè)比例已經(jīng)下降到不足2%,但是他們生產(chǎn)的食物卻比之前多了很多。
譯文:A century ago one in three American workers worked at the farm, now it drops to less than 2%. But they're producing way more food than before.
原文:A hundred years ago one in three American workers was employed on a farm. Today less than 2% of them produce far more food.
對(duì)比:workers work顯然是個(gè)很拗口的結(jié)構(gòu),靈活變成be employed就好。我的譯文結(jié)構(gòu)很糟,第一句主語(yǔ)是在在農(nóng)場(chǎng)工作的工人,第二句突然變成it且指代不明,第三句又變回they,仔細(xì)想想也是指代不明。在很短的距離內(nèi)來(lái)回切換主語(yǔ)會(huì)給讀者造成不必要的負(fù)擔(dān)。為了統(tǒng)一主語(yǔ),中文會(huì)冗長(zhǎng)——“占全體工人不到2%的他們……”,但英文不會(huì)——"less than 2% of them"。
這數(shù)百萬(wàn)從農(nóng)活中解放出來(lái)的人沒(méi)有因經(jīng)濟(jì)的細(xì)化而淪為失業(yè)者,他們反而找到了收入更高的工作。
譯文:The millions freed from farm work hasn't fallen into the unemployed because of the segmentation of the economy, while on the contrary they found better-paid jobs.
原文:The millions freed from the land were not consigned to joblessness, but found better-paid work as the economy grew more sophisticated.
對(duì)比:想著農(nóng)活該怎么翻的時(shí)候,肯定沒(méi)有想到可以直接表述為freed from the land。 be consigned to,“被交付給,被置于,陷入”,最值得記住的例子大概就是那句 who shall be consigned to a state of endless misery. 此處的第二個(gè)要注意的詞就是sophisticated。
如今,從事秘書(shū)工作的人越來(lái)越少。
譯文:Today there are less and less secretaries.
原文:Today the pool of secretaries has shrunk.
對(duì)比:尤其這里說(shuō)的是某一特定工種的勞動(dòng)力數(shù)量減少的問(wèn)題,pool會(huì)更適合這個(gè)語(yǔ)境。shrink又是一個(gè)認(rèn)識(shí)但從來(lái)不會(huì)去使用的單詞。