Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML
今天，在跟我的男朋友做愛的時候突發奇想想要試試后入，結果這個家伙說：“基督不會喜歡我們這樣子的”。瞬間沒有了性趣。FML
Today, I learned there is such a thing as "too much sex". After a full week of having sex at least twice a day with my girlfriend, I had to go to the GP due to a painful erection and swelling. The constant sex had caused me to burst a blood vessel in my penis. FML
今天，我終于知道了什么叫做“過度性行為”。整整一個星期的，每天最少跟我女朋友做兩次，結果現在老二一直處于一種很疼的勃起狀態。我們這邊的一聲告訴我，因為過度的性行為使我的陰莖血管破裂了。真的是屌爆了，臥槽。FML
Today, my very quiet and sexually innocent boyfriend said, "I want to be inside you." I was so startled that all I could reply was, "Oh, thanks." FML
今天，我那文雅而且帥氣無比的男朋友跟我講，“我想進入你！”。這句話直接震驚到了我，潛意識里居然說，“好的，謝謝。”FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
今天，我跟自己的一個同事上了床。結果，一完事兒，他就打開燈，然后開始玩兒手機。為了避免尷尬，我就說“啊，剛才真的好舒服。”，結果他看著我說：“是嗎？”，真實嗶了狗了。FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and I. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
今天，在我跟我男朋友的床事進行的正激烈的時候，他突然用一個低沉，性感的聲音低聲說了一句“上帝，請原諒我將要做的事情！”，我以為他這是在用另一種方式來增加情趣，所以我小聲的迎合說所有的事情我都喜歡。結果話音剛落，這個貨放了一個大大的響屁。FML
Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML
今天，我跟一個約會了我五次的家伙上了床，當時的感覺真的很棒。但是，一結束，這家伙就跟我講說：“對不起寶貝，我該走了。我得保持體力來應付明天的另一個約會。”FML
