初次聽說《關鍵對話》這本書是在唐老師的SPS課上(沒有錯,金花近期對知識如饑似渴),聽慣了雞湯的我沒有放在心上,直到同事的分享才發現自己錯過了什么。立即下單購買閱讀
拿到此書,才發現跟銷售行業的雞血文章完全不同,適合各種行業乃至家庭,看完就給老公看,老公居然還讀給閨女聽。
書中所指的關鍵對話指的是那些觀點迥異、充滿風險、雙方表現出激烈情緒的對話。就是說快談崩了……回想一下,我們有多少次的沖動變魔鬼,破壞了家庭、傷害了孩子?書中用一個個的例子幫我們分析了如何從崩潰的邊緣拯救一次談判。
讀了此書后,當快崩潰時,能我盡量使自己冷靜下來,回想書中提到的關鍵點:這次談話的目的是什么,又怎樣讓對方放下戒心,毫無壓力的和我展開溝通。
當然 對于急脾氣的我來說,沖動的時候很多,但是我已經可以盡量壓下自己的脾氣,心平氣和的跟老公聊 跟閨女談。比如當老公(東北純爺們暴脾氣)義憤填膺時,我會心平氣和的跟他討論他的目的,想要達到的效果,然后分析原因,讓他知道我是從他的角度出發解決問題。這就是對話的關鍵:認同感 安全感。營造共同的觀點,從“心”開始,讓對方暢所欲言,并控制自己不恰當的想法,循循善誘,切忌獨斷專行,注意傾聽并了解對方的動機,最后才開始采取行動達到想要的結果。以前的我當觀點不一致的時候往往采取沉默冷戰的方式,以至于情況更加惡化。對女兒則是大發雷霆,暴力鎮壓。現在的我可以傾聽老公的陳述分析問題,也能做女兒的忠實聽眾讓他暢所欲言,這都是此書的力量!所以極力推薦科里這本《Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High 關鍵對話》
最后送給大家一首羅伯特·弗羅斯特的小詩《未走過的路》
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN? –Robert Frost
羅伯特?弗羅斯特
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh,I kept the first for another day!?
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.?
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood,and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
金色的樹林,前路分成兩股,
可惜我不能兼顧。
我站立良久,形影孤獨,
遠遠眺望它們向遠處延伸,
直到轉入樹林深處。
歲月流逝,將來的某時某處,
我會在嘆息中想起:
兩條路在林間分開,而我——
選擇了人跡罕至之途,
從那一刻起,一切差別已成定鑄。(譯文不全)