在 Quora 上讀到這樣一個問題，
What are the top 10 things that we should be informed about in life?
人生中應該知道的十件事是什么？
在如此一個心靈雞湯向的問題下，排名第一的回答深深觸動了我，所以摘錄并極其不嚴密的翻譯如下：
- Realize that nobody cares, and if they do, you shouldn't care that they care. Got a new car? Nobody cares. You'll get some gawkers for a couple of weeks—they don't care. They're curious. Three weeks in it'll be just another shiny blob among all the thousands of others crawling down the freeway and sitting in garages and driveways up and down your street. People will care about your car just as much as you care about all of those. Got a new gewgaw? New wardrobe? Went to a swanky restaurant? Exotic vacation? Nobody cares. Don't base your happiness on people caring, because they won't. And if they do, they either want your stuff or hate you for it.
Some rulebreakers will break rule number one. Occasionally, people in your life will defy the odds and actually care about you. Still not your stuff, sorry. But if they value you, they'll value that you value it, and they'll listen. When you talk about all of those things that nobody else cares about, they will look into your eyes and consume your words, and in that moment you will know that every part of them is there with you.
Spend your life with rulebreakers. Marry them. Befriend them. Work with them. Spend weekends with them. No matter how much power you become possessed of, you'll never be able to make someone care—so gather close the caring.
Money is cheap. I mean, there's a lot of it—trillions upon trillions of dollars floating around the world, largely made up of cash whose value is made up and ascribed to it, anyway. Don't engineer your life around getting a slightly less tiny portion of this pile, and make your spirit of generosity reflect this principle. I knew a man who became driven by the desire to amass six figures in savings, so he worked and scrimped and sacrificed to get there. And he did... right before he died of cancer. I'm sure his wife's new husband appreciated his diligence.
Money is expensive. I mean, it's difficult to get your hands on sometimes—and you never know when someone's going to pull the floorboards out from under you—so don't be stupid with it. Avoid debt on depreciating assets, and never incur debt in order to assuage your vanity (see rule number one). Debt has become normative, but don't blithely accept it as a rite of passage into adulthood—debt represents imbalance and, in some sense, often a resignation of control. Student loan debt isn't always avoidable, but it isn't a given—my wife and I completed a combined ten years of college with zero debt between us. If you can't avoid it, though, make sure that your degree is an investment rather than a liability—I mourn a bit for all of the people going tens of thousands of dollars in debt in pursuit of vague liberal arts degrees with no idea of what they want out of life. If you're just dropping tuition dollars for lack of a better idea at the moment, just withdraw and go wander around Europe for a few weeks—I guarantee you'll spend less and learn more in the process.
Learn the ancient art of rhetoric. The elements of rhetoric, in all of their forms, are what make the world go around—because they are what prompt the decisions people make. If you develop an understanding of how they work, while everyone else is frightened by flames and booming voices, you will be able to see behind veils of communication and see what levers little men are pulling. Not only will you develop immunity from all manner of commercials, marketing, hucksters and salesmen, to the beautiful speeches of liars and thieves, you'll also find yourself able to craft your speech in ways that influence people. When you know how to speak in order to change someone's mind, to instill confidence in someone, to quiet the fears of a child, then you will know this power firsthand. However, bear in mind as you use it that your opponent in any debate is not the other person, but ignorance.
You are responsible to everyone, but you're responsible for yourself. I believe we're responsible to everyone for something, even if it's something as basic as an affirmation of their humanity. However, it should most often go far beyond that and manifest itself in service to others, to being a voice for the voiceless. If you're reading this, there are those around you who toil under burdens larger than yours, who stand in need of touch and respect and chances. Conversely, though, you're responsible for yourself. Nobody else is going to find success for you, and nobody else is going to instill happiness into you from the outside. That's on you.
Learn to see reality in terms of systems. When you understand the world around you as a massive web of interconnected, largely interdependent systems, things get much less mystifying—and the less we either ascribe to magic or allow to exist behind a fog, the less susceptible we'll be to all manner of being taken advantage of. However:
Account for the threat of black swan events. Sometimes chaos consumes the most meticulous of plans, and if you live life with no margins in a financial, emotional, or any other sense, you will be subject to its whims. Take risks, but backstop them with something—I strongly suspect these people who say having a Plan B is a sign of weak commitment aren't living hand to mouth. Do what you need to in order to keep your footing.
You both need and don't need other people. You need others in a sense that you need to be part of a community—there's a reason we reflexively pity hermits. Regardless of your theory of anthropogenesis, it's hard to deny that we are built for community, and that 'we' is always more than 'me.' However, you don't need another person in order for your life to have meaning—this idea that Disney has shoved through our eyeballs, that there's someone out there for all of us if we'll just believe hard enough and never stop searching, is hokum... because of arithmetic, if nothing else. Establish your own life—then, if there's a particular person that you can't help but integrate, believe me, you'll know.
Always give more than is required of you.
認識到?jīng)]人在意你，而且，即使有人在意你，也不要在意他們（是否）在意你。你買了一輛新車？沒人在意。接下來幾周你會發(fā)現(xiàn)有人圍觀——（但）他們并不在意，他們只是好奇。三個禮拜以后，它就像一滴閃亮的小水滴，淹沒在數(shù)以萬計的車輛組成的洪流里，從公路上緩慢的爬行到車道上，再一屁股坐回車庫里，如此周而復始。 別人不在意你的車，正如你不在意上面那些車一樣。你買了新的小玩意兒？新的衣柜？去了一家奢華的餐館？剛完成一次神奇的旅行？沒人在意。不要把你的快樂建立在別人的關注上，因為他們不會關注你。如果他們真的關注了，他們要么是想要你的東西，要么就是因此討厭你。
有些人會打破上一條規(guī)則。偶然的，一些你生命里的人會打破概率，真正的在乎你。抱歉，但仍然與你無關。但如果有人真的重視你，他們會真的重視和你的關系，而且他們會（愿意）聽你訴說。當你向他們講述所有那些別人不在乎的你的事情的時候，他們會看著你的眼睛，認真理解你的話語，在那個時刻，你知道他們?nèi)硇牡呐c你在一起。
跟上一條提到的那些人度過你的人生。與他們結(jié)婚；與他們做朋友，做同事，一起過周末。無論你擁有多少權力，你都無法強迫別人在乎你——所以，多和那些在乎你的人聚在一起。
錢不值錢。我是說，世界上有很多的錢——成百億上千億的錢漂浮在世界各處，其中一大部分是鈔票，鈔票的價值既體現(xiàn)了錢的價值，又（奇妙的）支撐了錢的價值。不要將你的人生花在努力鉆營以獲得那厚厚的錢垛里的薄薄的一份上面，而應以慷慨的精神來反映（錢不值錢）這一準則。我認識一個人，他一輩子只想讓他的存款達到六位數(shù)，為此他努力工作，省吃儉用，犧牲了很多。最終他做到了…就在他死于癌癥之前。我相信他妻子的新任老公定會非常感激他的勤奮。
錢很昂貴。我是說，有時候要學會一件事情很困難——而你并不知道什么時候就會被人拆臺——所以不要犯傻。盡力避免舉債去買貶值的資產(chǎn)，更不要為了虛榮去增加負債（參見第一條）。當今人們對債務已經(jīng)習以為常，但不代表可以安心的認為債務是成年人的標志——債務意味著失衡，某種意義上，更意味著受控。學生貸款有時難以避免，但不是一定的——我妻子和我彼此扶持，一共上了十年的大學，沒有未借一分錢。但如果你必須借款讀書，請確保你的學位是一筆投資而不是負債——許多人花幾萬美元讀那些模糊不清的文學或藝術學位，但卻不知道自己想要得到什么，我對此感到有一點痛心。如果你僅僅因為現(xiàn)在沒什么更好的想法就去花錢上學，倒不如拿這筆錢去歐洲玩幾個禮拜——我擔保你在這一過程中，可以花的更少，卻學的更多。
學習古老的修辭藝術。修辭學的基本元素，歸根到底，正是驅(qū)使世界轉(zhuǎn)動的東西——也是誘使人們做決定的原因。如果你能理解修辭是如何發(fā)揮作用的，當其他所有人在火焰和巨響前發(fā)抖的時候，你將可以透過言辭的掩飾，看到那些小人兒們?nèi)绾卧诶瓌硬倏v桿。這不僅能讓你對各式各樣的廣告，營銷，推銷員和零售商免疫，免遭竊賊和騙子的花言巧語的欺騙，你還將發(fā)現(xiàn)你擁有了通過言語影響他人的能力。當你知道如何說服人們改變想法，如何將信心灌注到他人心中，如何安撫孩子的恐懼，你就會親身體會到這種力量。然而，一定要牢記，在任何一場辯論中，你的對手不是他人，而是無知。
要對他人懷有責任感，但首要的是要對自己負責。**我相信我們某種程度上，對每個人都負有責任，最起碼也須承認他人作為人的權利。然而，這應引申到更深的地方，體現(xiàn)在服務大眾，為沉默者代言這樣的信條里。如果你正在讀這篇文章，在你周圍，有許多人擔負著比你更為沉重的負擔苦挨，亟需關注，尊重和機會。盡管如此，你仍應首先對自己負責。沒人會替你找到成功之道，也沒人會把快樂植入你的心里。這些只能指望你自己。
學會系統(tǒng)性的看待現(xiàn)實。當你把世界理解為一張具有內(nèi)在聯(lián)系的，由許多互相依存的系統(tǒng)所組成的巨大的網(wǎng)絡的時候，事物就變得不再那么神秘了——我們也更少將事物歸因于魔力，或聽任其躲在迷霧之中，我們也不再輕信，因此也更難以上當。然而，
為黑天鵝事件留出余地。混亂有時會毀掉最精密的計劃，如果你在財務上，情感上，或其他任何方面都不留有余地的話，你就會認識到它的魔力。敢于冒險，但也記得止損——那些聲稱留有退路就是不敢全情投入的人，我認為他們一定過著朝不保夕的生活。一定要留得青山在，才能不怕沒柴燒。
你既需要，也不需要他人。你需要他人，是指你必須作為社會的一份子生活——我們條件反射般的同情那些遁世的人，是有原因的。無論你對人類起源持有何種觀點，都難以否認，我們天性就是社會動物，“我們”總是比“我”意味著更多。然而，你不需要他人來使你的生命具有意義——迪斯尼全力向我們灌輸?shù)哪欠N，總有一個你的真命天子/天女在那里等著你，你只需全心相信并永不停止的去找尋即可的想法，不過是電影的噱頭…為了數(shù)字而已，如果沒有其他原因的話。建立你自己的生活——然后，如果真有某個特別的人，你除了與他/她結(jié)合，別無他法的話，相信我，你會遇到的。
比起所要求的部分，給予更多。
