我感到我陷入了一個怪圈。
去影院不能隨心所欲地選擇，要按著豆瓣的評分逐一排序，由著影評中的只字片語去發(fā)現(xiàn)那些值得我付出毛爺爺?shù)钠印嗳绱耍炊且蚵犚魳返臅r間成本相對較低，在音樂上我對評價的依賴部隊。如今這些曾一度困擾我的問題擴大范圍。《斷舍離》、《如何閱讀一本書》諸如此類，我不厭其煩地去尋找著guidebook，仿佛只要找對了那把鑰匙，我就可以如所愿地無所不能了。
問題是，想要獲得什么的重點是在于努力的過程，而我正在把過程這根長線急遽縮短，通過他人的經(jīng)驗來指導(dǎo)我。花費大量時間摸清概覽的充實感足夠麻痹自己，「感覺自己已經(jīng)對整件事情了如指掌了呢。」但當我投入越來越多的時間游離在advance層面，耐心耗盡，哪來的時間把這腔熱情轉(zhuǎn)向current層面呢？所以什么過后的思考，也是不需要了。
把大把的時間花在how to do上，我固然可以安慰自己「要打，就要打有準備的仗」，實際上一直在躊躇。到底是我「不能」還是「不想」？
下一步要做的，就是拋開how to do。少上知乎多看書。
（以上為語文課的無聊涂鴉）
【補】
歐洲思想的考試總算結(jié)束了，感覺還不錯。前面一邊打一邊覺得復(fù)習了很久的On Liberty(J.S.Mill)已然道出了真理。摘錄幾段：
but ,in the first place, their experience may be too narrow; or they may not have interpreted it rightly. Secondly, their interpretation of experience may be correct but unsuitable to him. Customs are made for customary circumstances, and customary characters: and his circumstances or his character may be uncustomary. Thirdly, though the customs be both good as customs, and suitable to him, yet to conform to custom, merely as custom, does not educate or develop in him any of the qualities which are the distinctive endowment of a human being.
The human faculties of perception, judgement discriminative feeling, mental activity, and even moral preference, are exercised only in making a choice.
