大家好，今天我們繼續(xù)一起來看看“被拒100天”（下）的內(nèi)容。昨天講到了蔣甲實踐了“100 rejection list”上的第一件事情，即向陌生人借100美元，通過這件事情，他意識到下次再遇到遭遇拒絕的情況，一定不能逃跑，而要留下來繼續(xù)交涉（stay engaged）。在接下來的演講中，他又向我們繼續(xù)描述了他所做的另外五件事，以及這五件事情是如何一步步改變他的。大家可以再次通過視頻來回顧一下整個故事。（open.163.com/movie/2017/2/6/B/MC918H30S_MC9VQJL6B.html）
演講原文（下）
Day Two: request a burger refill. It’s when I went to aburger joint, I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said “Hi,can I get a burger refill?” He was all confused, like “What’s a burger refill?”I said “Well,it’s just like a drink refill but with a burger.” And he said “Sorry,we don’t do burger refill, man.” So this is where rejection happened and I could have run but I stayed. I said “Well, I love your burgers I love your joint and if you guys do burger refill I will love you guys more.” And he said “Well,okay, I’ll tell my manager about it. Maybe we can do it but sorry we can’t do it today.” Then I left. And by the way, I don’t think they’ve ever done burger refill. I think they’re still there.?But the life and death feeling I was feeling?the first time was no longer there just because I stayed engaged, because I?didn’t run. I said “Wow, great, I’m already learning things.” Great!
這一次，蔣甲進(jìn)步了，再遭遇拒絕后，他不再落荒而逃，而是stay engaged, 這讓他克服了第一次那種異常緊張的感覺。（還記得昨天我們學(xué)習(xí)的有關(guān)“緊張”的表達(dá)嗎？I feel the hair on the back of my neck standing up.）
?And then day three: getting Olympic Doughnuts.This?is where my life was turned upside down. I went to a Krispy Kreme. It’s a doughnut shop in mainly the southeastern part of the United States. I’m surethey have some here, too. And I went in and said “Can you make me doughnutsthat look like Olympic symbols? Basically, youinterlinkfive doughnuts together.” I mean there’s no way they could say yes,right? The doughnut maker took me so seriously. So she put out paper, startedjotting downthe colors and the rings and is like “Howcould I make this?” And then 15 minutes later she came out with a box thatlooked like Olympic rings. And I was so touched. And I just couldn’t believeit.?And?that video got five million views on Youtube.The world couldn’t believe that either. You know, because of that I was in newspapers and talk shows, in everything and I became famous. And a lot of people started sendinge-mails to me, saying “what you are doing is awesome.”
第三天，他再次提出了一個看似荒誕的要求，要求做一個五環(huán)狀的甜甜圈，沒想到，這個要求居然被滿足，并且徹底改變了他的生活，他出名了。
But you know,fame and notoriety did not do?anything to me.What I really wanted to do was learn, and to change myself.?So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection into this playground,into this research project. I wanted to see what I can learn. And then I learned a lot of things. I discovered so many secrets. For example, I found if I just don’t run, if I got rejected, I could actually turn a “no” into a “yes”and the magic word is “why”. So one day I went to a stranger’s house, I had this flower in my hand and I knocked on the door and said “Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?” And he said “No”. But before he could leave I said “Hey, can I know why?” He said “Well, I have this dog that could dig anything I put in my backyard. I don’t want to waste your flower. If you want to do this, go across the street and talk to Connie. She loves flowers.” So that’s what I did. I went across and knocked on Connie’s door. And she was so happy to see me. And half an hour later there was this flower in Connie’s backyard. I’m sure it looks better now. But had I left after the initial rejection, I would have thought “Well, it’s because the guy didn’t trust me, it’s because I was crazy, because I didn’t dress up well I didn’t look good.” It was none of those.?It?was because what I offered did not feed what he wanted. And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral, using a salesterm. I converted that referral.
然而，蔣甲想要的不是名氣，是改變自己。所以，在他繼續(xù)嘗試的過程中，他發(fā)現(xiàn)，當(dāng)遭遇拒絕時，多問一個“為什么”，就可能改變事情的結(jié)果，而不是自己憑空猜測，自我否定。
Then one day I also learned that I can actually say certain things and?maximize my chance to get a yes. So for example, one day I went to a Starbucks and asked the manager “Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?” He was like “What’s a Starbucks greeter?” I said “Do you know those Walmart greeters? You know those people who say ‘hi’ to you before you walk in the store and make sure you don’t steal stuff, basically? I wanna give the Walmart experience to Starbucks customers.” Well, I’m not sure that’s a good thing actually. Actually I’m pretty sure it’s a bad thing. And, he was like “Oh, ”yeah, this is how he looked, his name is Eric, he was like “I’m not sure.”This is how he was hearing me.“Not sure.” Then I asked him “Is that weird?” He’s like, “Yeah, it’s really weird, man.” But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed. It’s as if he’s?putting all the doubt on the floor. And he said “Yeah, you can do this and just don’t get too weird.” So for the next hour I was the Starbucks’ greeter. I said “hi” to every customer that walked in and?gave them holiday cheers.By the way, I don’t know what your career trajectory is, don’t be a greeter. It was really boring. But then I found I could do this because I mentioned “Is that weird?” I mentioned the doubt that he was having. And because I mentioned “Is that weird?” that means I wasn’t weird. That means I was thinking just like him, seeing this as a weird thing. And again and again I learned that if I mention?some doubt people might have before I ask the question, I gained their trust. People would more likely to say yes to me.
這一次，蔣甲發(fā)現(xiàn)了如何最大化自己的要求被滿足的幾率的秘訣：共情能力，及說出對方在聽到自己所提出要求時的感受，與對方感同身受，讓他感到被理解，這樣更容易獲得信任，自己的要求也更容易被滿足。
And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream by asking.You know,I came from four generations of teachers?and my grandma has always told me “Hey Jia, you can do anything you want but it’d be great if you became a teacher.” But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, so I didn’t. But it has always been my dream to actually teach something. So I said “What if I just ask and teach a college class?” I lived in Austin at the time, so I went to University of Texas at Austin and knocked on professors’ doors and said“Can I teach your class?”I didn’t get anywhere the first couple of?times.But because I didn’t run, I kept doing it and on the third try the professor was very impressed. He was like “No one has done this before.”And I came in prepared with the powerpoints and my lesson. He said “Wow, I can use these. Why don’t you come back in two months?I’ll fit you in my curriculum.” And two months later, I was teaching a class. This is me—you probably can’t see, this is a bad picture. You know, sometimes you can get rejected by lighting, you know? But when I finished teaching that class, I walked out crying, because I could fulfill my life dream just by simply asking.
接下來，大膽向教授提出進(jìn)入大學(xué)課堂教授一次課并獲得允許的經(jīng)歷使蔣甲突然間明白，原來想要做成一件自己想做又看似不可能的事情，并有想象中的困難，通過大膽提出這個要求就有可能實現(xiàn)，而非一定要萬事俱備。
I used to think I have to accomplish all these things. I have to be a great entrepreneur or learn to get a PhD to teach.But no, I just asked and I could teach. And in that picture which you can see,I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr. Why? Because in my research I found that?people?who really changed the world who changed the way we live and the way we think?are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections.People like Martin Luther King Jr., like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela or even Jesus Christ.These people did not let rejection defined them. They let their own?reaction after rejection defined themselves. And they embraced rejection. And we don’t have to be those people to learn about rejection. And in my case, rejection was my curse, was my boogeyman. It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. Then I started embracing them. I turned that into the biggest gift in my life. I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities. I use my blog, I use my talk, I use the book I just published and I’m even building technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection. When you get rejected in life, when you are facing the next obstacle or next failure, consider the possibilities.Don’t run. If you just embrace them, they might become your gifts as well.Thank you.
最后，通過“被拒100天”的行動，蔣甲從一個害怕被拒絕的人，變成了一個不再恐懼，并且能夠教別人如何克服“被拒絕焦慮癥”的人，這使得他出了書，上了電視，并有了自己的科技公司，實現(xiàn)了自己成為一名企業(yè)家的夢想。他領(lǐng)悟到，遭遇拒絕，遇到挫折是人生的常態(tài)，我們要學(xué)會去擁抱它，把它當(dāng)成生命的饋贈和改變自己的契機，不要逃避，勇敢面對，這樣它會變成上天送給自己最的美好禮物。
（華麗麗的分割線）
不知道你是否跟我一樣，也是一個害怕大膽提出自己的要求，遇到問題容易逃避的人。如果是，我們一起向蔣甲學(xué)習(xí)，從大膽提出要求，表達(dá)需求開始，學(xué)會勇敢面對吧。看完整篇演講，你能總結(jié)出如何讓自己的要求被滿足的“套路”嗎？不妨我們將這個問題作為一個托福口語話題來試著回答看看吧：
Talk about the way of how to make other people accept your request. Give specific details and examples to explain your answer.（45秒內(nèi)作答）
感興趣的童鞋可以加微信號：linjingya，備注ted，將回答以語音的形式發(fā)給我，共同探討學(xué)習(xí)。（非誠勿擾）答案明天揭曉。
現(xiàn)在來為大家揭曉昨天文章最后留給大家的問題，如下：
現(xiàn)在，來為大家揭曉這個問題的神秘面紗，一睹其芳容：
“could have done” 為虛擬語氣的句型之一，虛擬語氣，顧名思義，“虛”即“假”的意思，用于描述與客觀事實相反的句子中。所以“could have done”的中文意思是“本可以做......(而實際上卻沒有做)”。回到這篇演講的語境中，蔣甲向那個看起來兇神惡煞（menacing）的保安借100美元，在遭到拒絕后落荒而逃，而實際上保安問他“why”,給了他解釋的機會，他沒有抓住，所以他才會說“I could’ve said many things. I could’ve explained. I could’ve negotiated”（我本來可以多說一些的，我本來可以解釋的，我本來可以跟他談判的），而實際上他卻跑了，沒有這樣做。通過這個句型，相信大家也能感受到他當(dāng)時的悔意。
好啦，講解結(jié)束，最后，想要演講音頻的朋友，可以在喜馬拉雅上關(guān)注“雅ljy”,也可以在喜馬拉雅上直接搜索“被拒100天”，有原版的演講音頻。由于篇幅原因，預(yù)計今天的單詞和句型講解環(huán)節(jié)，我會一并放到明天的文章中來為大家解答，so guys, see you tomorrow,咱們明天再見喔~O(∩_∩)O~
