好的友情都很貴

好的友情都很貴

1

The other day I sipped the tea with Lao Luo in his company which launched a new tea product not long ago. However, he just wanted me over to help him check up some data.

前些日子，去老羅的公司喝茶。老羅的公司最近在上新品，他叫我去無非是讓我幫他看看一些數據。

Actually he was authorizing another friend to conduct the market survey.

而他也正委托另一個朋友在做市場調研。

As it happened, this very friend brought to Lao Luo the newly prepared survey report with the data that day.

正巧那天，另一個朋友做完了調研報告和數據，給老羅拿來。

Lao Luo said nothing and got up, calling his secretary in and also instructing the financial department to see to the timely payment.

老羅二話沒說，便起身把秘書叫進來，說可以讓財務負責打款了。

It seemed that that guy had just set up a team and was likely to lack the business experience. Seeing the outright response from Lao Luo, he was somewhat at a loss, becoming jittery about it and repeatedly saying, “no worry about it, and after all, we’re friends. I am willing to do it for you totally free of charge.”

那個朋友好像是剛做了小團隊，可能也未經歷太多。面對老羅的爽快，有點手足無措，竟然有點恐慌，連連說：不急的，我們是朋友，哪怕免費做，我也樂意。

Lao Luo smiled and said, “We’ve got acquainted with each other for over a decade. But you are supposed to take what you deserve. I feel happier when we can hit it off well by drawing a clear distinction between the money and our friendship.”

老羅笑了笑，我們是十多年朋友了，該收的錢收下。錢和朋友分開處，最愉快。

Lao Luo put it plainly and continued to chat with me.

老羅說得樸實，接著和我聊天。

Lao Luo owns a company standing in the first rank in the industry. He said, “I absolutely don’t like any other persons to create values for me without charge just because he is my friend. I like to first make it clear about the service reward, so I am fond of making friends with people who take their initiative to talk about money. It has nothing to do with generosity, but on the contrary it represents a sense of propriety between us. The clearer distinction we can draw between money and friendship, the longer the latter can last.”

老羅開著一家同行業排名前列的公司。他說，“我不太喜歡因為結交了一個朋友，而拼命希望他為你免費創造價值。我喜歡主動談錢，也喜歡和主動談錢的人做朋友。主動談錢不是大方，恰恰是彼此的分寸感，金錢和友情分得越清楚，就越能夠長久下去。”

It occurs to me that not taking advantage of a friend represents the top-grade self-cultivation for anyone in treating friendship. The trustworthy friendship is really more valuable.

想起一句話：不占朋友的便宜，是一個人對待友情的頂級修養。而好的友情，真的都很貴。

2

The easiest way in dealing with each other is “to make it plain the actual situations and the money thus involved” as the trustworthy friendship is most valuable. We don’t need to be so embarrassed to let the other person know the fact as our friendship may last longer when we make it clear about the money thus involved.

人與人之間最輕松的相處關系是“互相談情，主動談錢”。因為好的友情都很貴，談情并不尷尬，談錢又會長久。

?It is your self-cultivation if you can actively make it clear about money as the beneficiary, but it is his or her right to accept it or not.

作為獲取一方，主動談錢是你的修養，是否接受是他的權利。

?If a payer has the option to initiatively talk about money, it is the self-cultivation of the other party to accept it or not.

而作為付出一方，主動談錢是你的選擇，是否接受是他的修養。

How come that we can have the resolute friendship when we make it clear about money?

為什么談錢會讓友情更堅固？

●It can make our relationship well organized with more constraints.

談錢，讓我們的關系更加有條理，更加有約束。

●We can rest assured that our labor results can be highly guaranteed.

談錢，讓我們對彼此的成果更放心，更有保障。

●We can have more confidence in our future cooperation so that we can take into account the others’ interests with more cooperation motive.

談錢，讓我們有信心在未來的合作中，更能為對方考慮，更有合作動力。

●It can assure us of the dignity in our daily life.

談錢，也會讓你活得更有尊嚴。

3

I’ve seen a pair of besties fall out and turn hostile to each other.

我見過一對好閨蜜的翻臉。

It sounded quite simple: one of them has her own store, quite close to her bestie. When she is busy, she is always turning to her bestie for help by asking her to look after her store. Her bestie is a full-time housewife who seems to be a good-for-nothing in her eyes.

事情很簡單，一個朋友開了個店鋪，離閨蜜家很近。每次都會找閨蜜來幫忙看店鋪。她的閨蜜是個全職太太，可能在她眼中，就是不干活的女人。

She calls her bestie for almost everything when she has to travel around, dine out and go to the movie. She just thought what her bestie could do for her was nothing but looking after the store for a short while.

出去玩了打電話給閨蜜，去聚餐了打電話給閨蜜，看電影了也打電話給閨蜜。無非是，你幫我看一會店。

Things are in good train, but one day her bestie had enough of it and said, “You know, you’ve actually affected my normal life. To tell you the truth, I still have my own business.”

就這樣，一直到某一次，閨蜜終于忍不住了，說，你這樣有點影響到我的正常生活了。我也有很多自己的事情要做。

Her friend answered back, “I just ask you over to look after my store, and that once in a while. Good friends should give each other a helping hand.”

那個朋友說，不就是順便看個店嘛，又不是每天。好朋友之間幫忙是應該的。

Her bestie got irritated, saying, “In fact my time is also valuable. Please remember to pay me for looking after your store next time.”

閨蜜終于發火了：其實，我的時間也很寶貴。麻煩下次來請我看店，付我工資。

Both besties finally broke off good relations. One of them said to me, “I’ve wondered whether I should have turned against her.”

文中那個閨蜜最后和那個朋友撕破了臉。她問我：她也曾經懷疑過，自己是不是不該和她撕破臉。

I just said, “Trustworthy friendship is more valuable. The true bestie is the very person you are reluctant to trouble or offend.”

我說，好的友情都很貴。真正的閨蜜，是那個你舍不得麻煩的人。

4

●If a friend can make cakes, you should not have it totally free every day;

不是朋友會做蛋糕，你就可以每天免費去吃喝；

●If a friend can draw paper, you cannot take it for granted that your decoration is fully secured;

不是朋友會畫圖紙，你就可以理所當然認為裝修有保障了；

●If you have a friend who has a coffee house, you can be seated somewhere for 12 hours each passing day without ordering any paid coffee or anything else.

不是你朋友開咖啡店，你就可以每天12小時坐在里面占著位置不點一杯咖啡；

●If a friend does not work outside, you can order him or her about.

不是你朋友沒有工作，你就可以指使她做這做那。

No one can take it for granted to claim the friendship from others, but he or she should value what he or she has paid for it. Paying for what you should pay to the other person is a good token of the friendship you want to express.

友情不是理所當然的索取，而是珍惜珍愛所有的付出。為對方該得的一切付費，是你對友情最好的表示。

All these years, I've made it a rule: actively making it clear about money in the world of clear-cut distinction where we should try to take our initiative to care about the service cost not that we care about money but that we don't want to scrupulously stand aloof from our friends just because of money.

這些年里，我不斷練習一件事，是在涇渭分明的世界里，盡可能主動地談錢。不是因為有錢，而是不想因為錢和好友變得生分和小心翼翼。

One year, a friend of mine published her book, and I bought one in private. If I like something, I’d buy it without much ado. I am fully aware of the value of the treasured friendship, so I don’t ask her to give me a free one. A book costs not much anyway, so I merely deem it as something like a favor.

比如，有一年，我的朋友出書，我私下里，把書買了。我喜歡一本書，都會主動去買，我知道情誼珍貴，我不會主動開口要求別人送。一本書花不了多少錢，權當是支持。

One day, she came over to my house, saying that she made a point of sending me her book.

有一天，她來我家做客，說，給我拿了一本她的書。

But after she looked around and found there being one on the bookshelf, she was quite surprised, asking, “We are good friends, so do you think it necessary to buy one? Sure I can give you one.”

她到我家后，發現書架里已經存放著她的那一本。好友一驚。她說，你是我的好朋友，有必要買嗎？我自然會送。

“It was an impulse buy as I wanted to read your book without any delay and I fully recognized your great efforts, so I just paid for the book. What you’ve done is more than the amount paid by readers.”

“我想讀你的書，認可你的付出，自然會付費，而你的付出，配得上錢。”

Later my friend said, “Those guys who are just bowing acquaintances send me the short message for free books on every occasion, so I feel quite embarrassed.” The books she sent out were all bought from the press. Her close friends were all in the name list for free books, but they had already bought her books.

好友后來說，倒是那些關系特別一般的，總是會動不動給她發信息，要求送書，弄得她好生尷尬。因為她的書，也是問出版社買的。倒是關系好的，原本已經列入送書名單，大多都已經買了。

5

Once, a friend asked me: “Is it necessary for friends to help each other? How can we talk about money or things like that?”

曾經有人問我，朋友之間，不是應該互相幫忙，怎么能談錢呢！

So I gave him such a piece of advice: if you are the payer, it is your option to talk about money or not. If you are the beneficiary, I beg you not to avoid it.

于是我丟了他一句話：如果你是付出一方，你是否選擇談錢，是你的權利了。如果你是獲取一方，麻煩就不要那么理所當然了。

I am now quite clear about it: the closer friend someone is, the more carefully he or she will value everything you have—your looks, your talent, your labor and your value; however, the nodding acquaintances always remain at the state of wait and see toward you, illegibly treating everything you have as they are willing to share weal but not woe with you. So they are ready to escape unscathed and also maintain the enthusiastic attitude toward you from time to time.

我越來越覺得，越是真心朋友，越是珍惜你的一切——珍惜你的容貌、珍惜你的才華、珍惜你的勞動、珍惜你的價值；而那些泛泛之交，他們始終對你保持著觀望狀態，曖昧地對待你的一切——他們愿意和你共享樂，并不愿意與你共患難，所以他們保持著全身而退的準備，也擁有著時刻熱情的心態。

“Just bear in mind: never take advantage of a friend; the more advantage you take of your friend, the sooner the friendship between you will be gone.

所以，記得，千萬別想著占朋友的便宜，便宜占多了，友情就遠了。

Friends should treasure everything the other friend has, know how to actively talk about money and do kindness in exchange for that given by others.

身為朋友，懂得珍惜對方的一切，懂得禮尚往來，懂得主動談錢，懂得對價交換。

Money is the touchstone for friendship and also is the escort vessel for friendship.

金錢是友情的試金石，也是友情的護駕船。

Trustworthy friendship is most valuable. It is highly hoped that every one of us knows the ropes.

好的友情都很貴。希望每個人都能懂得。

關于本文

★中文：謝可慧

專欄作家。個人公眾號：秋小愚

★?英文：閻成席

資深翻譯、英語發音和朗讀方法的研學者、知名英語網站專欄作家，也是在線語音、口語、語法、閱讀和翻譯等課程主講，特別是《新概念》、《閻老師四六級翻譯課程》等。