Vocabulary

suffocate v.使呼吸困難;使憋悶；

受束縛;受扼制；

Most of our neighbors in Fremont were bus drivers, policemen, gas station attendants, and unwed mothers collecting welfare, exactly the sort of blue-collar people who would soon suffocate under the pillow Reganomics pressed to their faces. Baba was the lone Republican in our building.

Excerpt

I glanced at him across the table, his nails chipped and black with engine oil, his knuckles scraped, the smells of the gas station--dust, sweat, and gasoline--on his clothes. Baba was like the widower who remarries but can't let go of his dead wife.

For me, America was a place to bury my memories.

For Baba, a place to mourn his.

He smiled and leaned back against the headrest, his forehead almost touching the ceiling. We didn’t say anything. Just sat in the dark, listened to the tink-tink of the engine cooling, the wail of a siren in the distance. Then Baba rolled his head toward me. “I wish Hassan had been with us today,” he said.

A pair of steel hands closed around my windpipe at the sound of Hassan’s name. I rolled down the window. Waited for the steel hands to loosen their grip.

SOMETIMES, I GOT BEHIND the wheel of my Ford, rolled down the windows, and drove for hours, from the East Bay to the South Bay, up the Peninsula and back. I drove through the grids of cottonwood-lined streets in our Fremont neighborhood, where people who'd never shaken hands with kings lived in shabby, flat one-story houses with barred windows, where old cars like mine dripped oil on blacktop driveways. Pencil gray chain-link fences closed off the backyards in our neighborhood. Toys, bald tires, and beer bottles with peeling labels littered unkempt front lawns.

阿米爾和父親對美國的感受是不同的，曾風光一時的爸爸現在每日為自己和兒子的生存而奔波。

Thought

Is there love between Amir and Baba? Of course there is. After moving to the United States, Amir finally got what he used to be long for—Baba’s exclusive love. Baba's love are everywhere, to name some as follows:

Although Baba didn't fully support what Amir want to learn so he said:

“Oh,” he said. “Wah wah! So, if I understand, you'll study several years to earn a degree, then you'll get a chatti job like mine, one you could just as easily land today, on the small chance that your degree might someday help you get... discovered.” He took a deep breath and sipped his tea. Grunted something about medical school, law school, and “real work.”

Amir's action again shows his selfishness:

My cheeks burned and guilt coursed through me, the guilt of indulging myself at the expense of his ulcer, his black fingernails and aching wrists. But I would stand my ground, I decided. I didn't want to sacrifice for Baba anymore. The last time I had done that, I had damned myself.

Baba sighed and, this time, tossed a whole handful of car damom seeds in his mouth.

Nevertheless, Baba was proud of his son in his way. At the flea market, Baba’s words illustrated that clearly:

“Amir is going to be a great writer,”Baba said. I did a double take at this. “He has finished his first year of college and earned A's in all of his courses.”

No doubt that he is not only a great man, but a great father as well.

Notes

Amir和Baba移居美國，Baba成為了加油站員工，我則在美國高中學習。Amir如愿以償，終于得到了Baba獨有的愛，因為Baba只有他了。Baba還是Baba，堅毅，勤勞，努力拼搏在美國自食其力。而Amir也還是Amir，自私自利，像寄生蟲一樣吸Baba的血，所作的一切都是為了自己。好在Amir珍惜在美國的日子，在這片新土地，他放下了過去，開始了新生活。他努力學習，在Baba供養自己的時候，也努力保護Baba，幫助Baba適應美國的生活。哪個家長不是真正愛自己的孩子？就算Amir懦弱自私，和自己罕有相似之處，Baba還是愛他，擔心他，為Amir的小成績而驕傲。Baba在辛勞和苦痛中慢慢老去，Amir成年，升入大學，開始邁向社會。

What's More

當Amir和Baba到達美國時，兩人一無所有，雖然有簽證，但是教育方面不享受福利（這一點留學的同學應該也都深有感觸）。加油站的收入微薄，但爸爸還是堅持讓孩子接受教育，上ESL課程，完成美國初高中學習，并拒絕讓孩子過早工作而是升大學。人窮志不窮，Baba寧可自己日夜辛勞疾病纏身也必須保證孩子的教育。曾經的上等階層深知，若要回到原階層，或保證階層的穩固地位，孩子的教育是第一位，只有知識才能引導下一代向上一階層攀登。雖然當問到孩子大學要學什么時，Amir的回答讓父親有些失望，但父親并沒有強迫孩子改變自己的興趣，而是嘗試改變自己，以此為榮。