JON
60 瓊恩
Are you well,
Snow?” Lord Mormont asked, scowling.
“雪諾，你還好吧？”莫爾蒙司令皺眉問。
“Well,” his raven squawked. “Well.”
“好吧？”他的烏鴉呱呱叫，“好吧？”
“I am, my lord,” Jon lied?.?.?.?loudly, as if that could make it
true. “And you?”
“大人，我很好。”瓊恩撒了謊……還特意大聲，仿佛這樣可讓謊言成真。“您呢？”
Mormont frowned.
“A dead man tried to kill me. How well could I be?” He scratched under his
chin. His shaggy grey beard had been singed in the fire, and he’d hacked it
off. The pale stubble of his new whiskers made him look old, disreputable, and
grumpy. “You do not look well. How is your hand?”
莫爾蒙又是眉頭一皺。“有個死人想殺我，你覺得我能好到哪里去？”他抓了抓下巴。由于長長的灰胡子被火燒到，他便把胡子給割了。新長出來的白色短須使他看起來不僅丑陋了些，老上許多，更顯得脾氣暴躁。“說實話，你的氣色不太好，手怎么樣了？”
“Healing.” Jon flexed his bandaged fingers to show him. He had burned
himself more badly than he knew throwing the flaming drapes, and his right hand
was swathed in silk halfway to the elbow. At the time he’d felt nothing; the
agony had come after. His cracked red skin oozed fluid, and fearsome blood
blisters rose between his fingers, big as roaches. “The maester says I’ll have
scars, but otherwise the hand should be as good as it was before.”
“正在復原。”瓊恩動動自己綁了繃帶的手指給他看。扔那堆窗簾所帶來的灼傷比他預期中嚴重許多，現在他的右手臂纏滿了絲繃帶，一直綁到手肘。當時他一點感覺也沒有，之后才開始疼痛。他裂開的紅皮膚內流出液體，一個個嚇人的充血水泡布滿指間，大得像蟑螂似的。“學士說會留下疤痕，但除此之外應該沒有大礙。”
“A scarred hand is nothing. On the Wall, you’ll be wearing gloves
often as not.”
“手上有疤沒關系，在長城這兒，你大多時候都會戴手套。”
“As you say, my lord.” It was not the thought of scars that troubled
Jon; it was the rest of it. Maester Aemon had given him milk of the poppy, yet
even so, the pain had been hideous. At first it had felt as if his hand were
still aflame, burning day and night. Only plunging it into basins of snow and
shaved ice gave any relief at all. Jon thanked the gods that no one but Ghost saw
him writhing on his bed, whimpering from the pain. And when at last he did
sleep, he dreamt, and that was even worse. In the dream, the corpse he fought
had blue eyes, black hands, and his father’s face, but he dared not tell
Mormont that.
“大人，您說的是。”困擾瓊恩的不是疤痕，而是其他的部分。伊蒙師傅給他喝了罌粟花奶，但即便如此，手依舊痛得要命。起初他感覺自己的手仍然著火，日夜燒個不停，惟有將之插進裝滿陳雪和碎冰的盆子里才能稍減疼痛。瓊恩在床上疼痛難耐，翻滾哀嚎的模樣，只有白靈知道，為此他暗自感謝天上諸神。可等他真的睡了，他又會作夢，這些夢比手傷還可怕。在夢中，和他廝殺的尸體不僅有藍眼睛和黑手掌，更有父親的臉，他可不敢把這個告訴莫爾蒙。
“Dywen and Hake returned last night,” the Old Bear said. “They found
no sign of your uncle, no more than the others did.”
“戴文和哈克昨晚回來了，”熊老說，“和其他人一樣，他們沒找到半點你叔叔的蹤跡。”
“I know.” Jon had dragged himself to the common hall to sup with his
friends, and the failure of the rangers’ search had been all the men had been
talking of.
“我知道。”昨晚瓊恩硬拖著身子去大廳和朋友們共進晚餐，當時大家談論的都是游騎兵失敗的搜查行動。
“You know,” Mormont grumbled. “How is it that everyone knows
everything around here?” He did not seem to expect an answer. “It would seem
there were only the two of?.?.?.?of those creatures, whatever they were, I will
not call them men. And thank the gods for that. Any more and?.?.?.?well, that
doesn’t bear thinking of. There will be more, though. I can feel it in these
old bones of mine, and Maester Aemon agrees. The cold winds are rising. Summer
is at an end, and a winter is coming such as this world has never seen.”
“你也知道，”莫爾蒙咕噥，“怎么大家什么都知道啊？”他也沒期待答案。“看來，總共就那么兩個……東西。不管他們是什么，我絕對不承認他們是人。感謝天上諸神。要是再多幾個……唉．還是別去想的好。只是我這身老骨頭有預感，以后遲早會再碰上，伊蒙師傅也這么說。冷風吹起，夏日將盡，前所未見的寒冬即將來臨。”
Winter is
coming. The Stark words had never sounded so grim or ominous to Jon as they did
now. “My lord,” he asked hesitantly, “it’s said there was a bird last
night?.?.?.?”
凜冬將至。對瓊恩而言，史塔克家的箴言從未如此陰森，如此充滿不祥之氣。“大人，”他遲疑地說，“聽說昨晚又來了一只鳥兒……”
“There was. What of it?”
“是有這么回事。怎樣？”
“I had hoped for some word of my father.”
“我想知道有沒有我父親的消息。”
“Father,” taunted the old raven, bobbing its head as it walked across
Mormont’s shoulders. “Father.”
“父親！”老烏鴉在莫爾蒙肩上走來走去，頭上下擺動，嘲弄地叫道，“父親！”
The Lord
Commander reached up to pinch its beak shut, but the raven hopped up on his
head, fluttered its wings, and flew across the chamber to light above a window.
“Grief and noise,” Mormont grumbled. “That’s all they’re good for, ravens. Why
I put up with that pestilential bird?.?.?.?if there was news of Lord Eddard,
don’t you think I would have sent for you? Bastard or no, you’re still his
blood. The message concerned Ser Barristan Selmy. It seems he’s been removed
from the Kingsguard. They gave his place to that black dog Clegane, and now
Selmy’s wanted for treason. The fools sent some watchmen to seize him, but he
slew two of them and escaped.” Mormont snorted, leaving no doubt of his view of
men who’d send gold cloaks against a knight as renowed as Barristan the Bold.
“We have white shadows in the woods and unquiet dead stalking our halls, and a
boy sits the Iron Throne,” he said in disgust.
司令伸手想捏住它的長嘴，但烏鴉跳上他的頭，拍拍翅膀，飛過房間，停在窗戶上。“就只會吵鬧搗蛋，”莫爾蒙咕噥著說，“烏鴉通通這副德行，真不知我養這只討人厭的鳥做什么……如果有艾德大人的消息，你覺得我會不叫你來么？無論你是不是私生子，你畢竟是他的親生骨肉。信上說的是巴利斯坦·賽爾彌爵士的事。他似乎被從御林鐵衛里給革職了。他們把他原先的席位給了那條黑狗克里岡，現在賽爾彌正被通緝中，罪名是叛國。那些蠢才派了幾個衛士去拿他，結果他宰了兩個后逃走了。”莫爾蒙哼了一聲，他對那些派都城守衛去對付像無畏的巴利斯坦如此武藝超凡的人的看法，溢于言表。“我們這兒森林里有白色鬼影，城里面有不安分的死人行走，結果坐在鐵王座上的竟是個小毛頭！”他語帶嫌惡地說。
The raven
laughed shrilly. “Boy, boy, boy, boy.”
烏鴉尖聲怪笑：“小毛頭！小毛頭！小毛頭！小毛頭！”
Ser Barristan
had been the Old Bear’s best hope, Jon remembered; if he had fallen, what
chance was there that Mormont’s letter would be heeded? He curled his hand into
a fist. Pain shot through his burned fingers. “What of my sisters?”
瓊恩記得熊老對巴利斯坦爵士寄予厚望，如果連他都失勢，那莫爾蒙的信還有什么機會上達國王呢？他不禁緊握手指，劇痛卻立即從傷口炸裂開來。“那我妹妹呢？”
“The message made no mention of Lord Eddard or the girls.” He gave an
irritated shrug. “Perhaps they never got my letter. Aemon sent two copies, with
his best birds, but who can say? More like, Pycelle did not deign to reply. It
would not be the first time, nor the last. I fear we count for less than
nothing in King’s Landing. They tell us what they want us to know, and that’s
little enough.”
“信上既沒提到艾德大人，也沒說他女兒的事。”他有些惱火地聳聳肩。“說不定他們根本就沒收到我的信。雖然伊蒙師傅送了兩份抄本，也派他最好的鳥兒帶去了，可這種事誰說得準呢？我看八成是派席爾懶得回信。這也不是第一次了，當然更不會是最后一次。恐怕對君臨那些人而言，我們什么也不是。他們只肯告訴我們他們想讓我們知道的事，而這些事少得可憐！”
And you tell me
what you want me to know, and that’s less, Jon thought resentfully. His brother
Robb had called the banners and ridden south to war, yet no word of that had
been breathed to him?.?.?.?save by Samwell Tarly, who’d read the letter to
Maester Aemon and whispered its contents to Jon that night in secret, all the
time saying how he shouldn’t. Doubtless they thought his brother’s war was none
of his concern. It troubled him more than he could say. Robb was marching and
he was not. No matter how often Jon told himself that his place was here now,
with his new brothers on the Wall, he still felt craven.
你也只告訴我你想讓我知道的事，這些事還更少呢，瓊恩忿忿不平地想。羅柏已經號召封臣，率軍南進，卻沒有人告訴他……后來還是念信給伊蒙學士聽的山姆威爾·塔利當天夜里偷偷跑來找他，一邊輕聲細語，一邊懺悔自己不該這么做。可想而知，他們一定是認為他兄弟的戰爭與他無關。然而這卻比其他所有事更教他煩心。羅柏正馳騁沙場，他卻坐困愁城。無論瓊恩如何寬慰自己：如今他的職責所在是與新弟兄們共同防守長城，他依舊覺得自己像個懦夫。
“Corn,” the raven was crying. “Corn, corn.”
“玉米！”烏鴉又叫起來，“玉米！玉米！”
“Oh, be quiet,” the Old Bear told it. “Snow, how soon does Maester
Aemon say you’ll have use of that hand back?”
“噢，給我閉嘴。”熊老告訴它。“雪諾，伊蒙師傅估計你的手多久可以復原？”
“Soon,” Jon replied.
“快了。”瓊恩回答。
“Good.” On the table between them, Lord Mormont laid a large sword in
a black metal scabbard banded with silver. “Here. You’ll be ready for this,
then.”
“那敢情好，”莫爾蒙司令拿出一把劍，放在兩人之間的桌上，那劍有著黑色金屬鑲銀邊的鞘。“喏，到時候你就用這個。”
The raven
flapped down and landed on the table, strutting toward the sword, head cocked
curiously. Jon hesitated. He had no inkling what this meant. “My lord?”
烏鴉振翅而下，停在桌上，昂首闊步地朝劍走去，一邊好奇地歪著頭。瓊恩猶豫了一下。這究竟是什么意思，他一點頭緒都沒有。“大人，這是？”
“The fire melted the silver off the pommel and burnt the crossguard
and grip. Well, dry leather and old wood, what could you expect? The blade,
now?.?.?.?you’d need a fire a hundred times as hot to harm the blade.” Mormont
shoved the scabbard across the rough oak planks. “I had the rest made anew.
Take it.”
“之前那場火把劍柄圓頭的銀給熔掉了，護手和劍柄也被燒毀，唉，干皮革和木頭，不燒才有鬼。至于劍本身嘛……你得用熱一百倍的火才能傷到劍身。”莫爾蒙把手一揮，連劍帶鞘推過粗糙的橡木桌面。“我把其余的部分重新打過了。拿去吧。”
“Take it,” echoed his raven, preening. “Take it, take it.”
“拿去吧！”烏鴉得意洋洋地附和，“拿去吧！拿去吧！”
Awkwardly, Jon
took the sword in hand. His left hand; his bandaged right was still too raw and
clumsy. Carefully he pulled it from its scabbard and raised it level with his
eyes.
瓊恩僵硬地伸手拿劍。他用的是左手，因為右手不但綁了繃帶，而且傷口未愈，不甚靈活。他小心翼翼地將劍從鞘里抽出，舉到眼前。
The pommel was a
hunk of pale stone weighted with lead to balance the long blade. It had been
carved into the likeness of a snarling wolf’s head, with chips of garnet set
into the eyes. The grip was virgin leather, soft and black, as yet unstained by
sweat or blood. The blade itself was a good half foot longer than those Jon was
used to, tapered to thrust as well as slash, with three fullers deeply incised
in the metal. Where Ice was a true two-handed greatsword, this was a
hand-and-a-halfer, sometimes named a “bastard sword.” Yet the wolf sword
actually seemed lighter than the blades he had wielded before. When Jon turned
it sideways, he could see the ripples in the dark steel where the metal had
been folded back on itself again and again. “This is Valyrian steel, my lord,”
he said wonderingly. His father had let him handle Ice often enough; he knew
the look, the feel.
劍柄尾端的圓球是一塊淡白色的石頭，還加了鉛以平衡劍身的重量，圓球雕刻成一只咆哮狼頭的模樣，眼睛是兩小片紅榴石。劍柄裹著又黑又軟的新皮，未經汗漬和血水沾染。劍身則足足比瓊恩慣用的劍長了半尺，前端極尖，既能刺擊，亦可揮砍，上面開了三道深深的血槽。“寒冰”是名副其實的雙手劍，這把則是一手半，有時也稱為“長柄劍”。這柄狼劍似乎比他以前用過的劍都輕。瓊恩輕轉劍身，看到色澤沉暗的精鋼劍身歷經千錘百煉所留下的波紋。“大人，這是用瓦雷利亞鋼鍛鑄的劍啊。”他訝異地說。父親以前時常讓他把握“寒冰”，所以他知道這外觀和手感。
“It is,” the Old Bear told him. “It was my father’s sword, and his
father’s before him. The Mormonts have carried it for five centuries. I wielded
it in my day and passed it on to my son when I took the black.”
“沒錯。”熊老告訴他，“這是我父親的劍，是我祖父傳給他的。這把劍在莫爾蒙家族父子相傳了五百年，我年輕時也用這把劍，后來我穿上黑衣，便將它傳給兒子。”
He is giving me
his son’s sword. Jon could scarcely believe it. The blade was exquisitely
balanced. The edges glimmered faintly as they kissed the light. “Your son...”
他將傳給兒子的劍給了我，瓊恩簡直不敢相信。劍刃極度平衡，鋒芒一遇光線，立即熠熠發光。“您的兒子——”
“My son brought dishonor to House Mormont, but at least he had the
grace to leave the sword behind when he fled. My sister returned it to my
keeping, but the very sight of it reminded me of Jorah’s shame, so I put it
aside and thought no more of it until we found it in the ashes of my bedchamber.
The original pommel was a bear’s head, silver, yet so worn its features were
all but indistinguishable. For you, I thought a white wolf more apt. One of our
builders is a fair stonecarver.”
“我兒讓莫爾蒙家族蒙上恥辱，但他逃亡之前，倒還懂得留下這把劍。我妹妹把劍送還給我，然而每當見到它，就讓我想起喬拉的事，所以我把劍收起來，日子一久也就忘了，直到這回在我臥室的灰燼里找到它。原本劍柄尾端是個銀制熊頭，不過因為經年累月的磨損，早已辨認不出。你用的話，我想白狼比較適合。正好我們工匠里面有個不錯的雕刻師傅。”
When Jon had
been Bran’s age, he had dreamed of doing great deeds, as boys always did. The
details of his feats changed with every dreaming, but quite often he imagined
saving his father’s life. Afterward Lord Eddard would declare that Jon had
proved himself a true Stark, and place Ice in his hand. Even then he had known
it was only a child’s folly; no bastard could ever hope to wield a father’s
sword. Even the memory shamed him. What kind of man stole his own brother’s
birthright? I have no right to this, he thought, no more than to Ice. He
twitched his burned fingers, feeling a throb of pain deep under the skin. “My
lord, you honor me, but...”
當瓊恩還在布蘭那個年紀的時候，也像所有的男孩子一樣，夢想著將來干出一番大事業。雖然每次白日夢的細節都不同，但他總想像自己救了父親一命，事后艾德公爵宣布瓊恩已經證明了自己是真正的史塔克傳人，并將“寒冰”交到他手中。即便在當時，他也知道這不過是小孩子的玩笑，私生子是絕不可能繼承家傳寶劍的。如今想起這些，他卻覺得羞恥。奪走自己兄弟的繼承權，這算什么？我沒資格接受這把劍，他心想，一如我沒資格繼承“寒冰”。他動動灼傷的手指，感覺到皮膚底下深層的痛楚。“大人，您讓我受寵若驚，可是——”
“Spare me your but’s, boy,” Lord Mormont interrupted. “I would not be
sitting here were it not for you and that beast of yours. You fought
bravely?.?.?.?and more to the point, you thought quickly. Fire! Yes, damn it.
We ought to have known. We ought to have remembered. The Long Night has come
before. Oh, eight thousand years is a good while, to be sure?.?.?.?yet if the
Night’s Watch does not remember, who will?”
“小子，少跟我‘可是’。”莫爾蒙司令打斷他。“若不是你和你那頭狼，我現在就不會坐在這里了。你不僅勇敢……更重要的是，你的腦筋動得快。沒錯，天殺的，就是用火！我們早該知道，早該想起來。古時也曾有過長夜之劫，唉，八千年雖然久了點……可若是連守夜人都不記得，還有誰會記得呢？”
“Who will,” chimed the talkative raven. “Who will.”
“誰會！”聒噪的烏鴉跟著叫，“誰會！”
Truly, the gods
had heard Jon’s prayer that night; the fire had caught in the dead man’s
clothing and consumed him as if his flesh were candle wax and his bones old dry
wood. Jon had only to close his eyes to see the thing staggering across the
solar, crashing against the furniture and flailing at the flames. It was the
face that haunted him most; surrounded by a nimbus of fire, hair blazing like
straw, the dead flesh melting away and sloughing off its skull to reveal the
gleam of bone beneath.
那天晚上，諸神確是聽見了瓊恩的祈禱；尸鬼的衣服一著火，瞬間便被烈焰吞噬，仿佛它的皮膚是蠟油，骨頭是干柴。瓊恩只需閉上眼睛，依然可以見到那具尸體踉蹌著走過書房，四處碰撞家具，揮舞雙臂拍打火焰的景象。縈繞心頭久久不去的是那張臉：四周為火圍繞，頭發燃如稻草，壞死的肌肉一塊塊熔解滑落，露出下面的顱骨。
Whatever demonic
force moved Othor had been driven out by the flames; the twisted thing they had
found in the ashes had been no more than cooked meat and charred bone. Yet in
his nightmare he faced it again?.?.?.?and this time the burning corpse wore
Lord Eddard’s features. It was his father’s skin that burst and blackened, his
father’s eyes that ran liquid down his cheeks like jellied tears. Jon did not
understand why that should be or what it might mean, but it frightened him more
than he could say.
不管驅使奧瑟的是何種惡魔力量，都已被烈火趕走；他們在余燼堆里找到的那團扭曲東西，只不過是烤熟的人肉和燒焦的骨頭罷了。然而在他的噩夢里，它又再度到來……這次冒火的尸體頭上生著艾德公爵的容貌。焦黑爆突的是父親的皮膚，如結凍眼淚般流下臉頰的是父親的眼睛。瓊恩不明白為何會做這種夢，也不了解這代表的意義，他只是嚇壞了。
“A sword’s small payment for a life,” Mormont concluded. “Take it,
I’ll hear no more of it, is that understood?”
“一劍換一命，夠便宜了。”莫爾蒙總結。“快拿去，別再跟我啰唆，聽懂了沒？”
“Yes, my lord.” The soft leather gave beneath Jon’s fingers, as if
the sword were molding itself to his grip already. He knew he should be
honored, and he was, and yet?.?.?.?
“是，大人。”瓊恩的手指撫摩著柔軟的皮革，這把劍似乎迫不及待地渴望他的掌握。他明白，這是莫大的榮耀，他也的確非常感激，可是……
He is not my father.
The thought leapt unbidden to Jon’s mind. Lord Eddard Stark is my father. I
will not forget him, no matter how many swords they give me. Yet he could
scarcely tell Lord Mormont that it was another man’s sword he dreamt of?.?.?.?
他不是我父親，這個念頭毫無預警地躍上瓊恩心頭。艾德·史塔克公爵才是我父親。我永遠不會忘記他，無論別人給我多少把劍，我都不會變。但他怎么能對莫爾蒙司令說他夢想的是另一個人的劍呢……
“I want no courtesies either,” Mormont said, “so thank me no thanks.
Honor the steel with deeds, not words.”
“我也不想聽什么客套話，”莫爾蒙道，“所以把道謝都省了罷。用實際行動證明你珍惜它，比說多少廢話都管用。”
Jon nodded.
“Does it have a name, my lord?”
瓊恩點點頭。“大人，這把劍可有名諱？”
“It did, once. Longclaw, it was called.”
“以前是有的。名叫‘長爪’。”
“Claw,” the raven cried. “Claw.”
“長爪！”烏鴉大叫，“長爪！”
“Longclaw is an apt name.” Jon tried a practice cut. He was clumsy
and uncomfortable with his left hand, yet even so the steel seemed to flow
through the air, as if it had a will of its own. “Wolves have claws, as much as
bears.”
“長爪，好名字，”瓊恩試著揮砍了一下。雖然左手持劍，難看又笨拙，但寶劍仿佛憑著自己的意志劃破空氣。“狼和熊都有爪子。”
The Old Bear
seemed pleased by that. “I suppose they do. You’ll want to wear that over the
shoulder, I imagine. It’s too long for the hip, at least until you’ve put on a
few inches. And you’ll need to work at your two-handed strikes as well. Ser
Endrew can show you some moves, when your burns have healed.”
熊老聽了似乎很高興。“我也這么想。我看你得把劍背在背后。這劍太長，沒法佩在腰際，至少在你再長高個幾寸之前是這樣。還有，你好好練習一下雙手攻擊。等你的手傷痊愈，可以找安德魯爵士教你幾招。”
“Ser Endrew?” Jon did not know the name.
“安德魯爵士？”瓊恩不記得這個名字。
“Ser Endrew Tarth, a good man. He’s on his way from the Shadow Tower
to assume the duties of master-at-arms. Ser Alliser Thorne left yestermorn for
Eastwatch-by-the-Sea.”
“安德魯·塔斯爵士。他正從影子塔趕來，他是我們新任的教頭。艾里沙·索恩爵士昨天早上到東海望去了。”
Jon lowered the
sword. “Why?” he said, stupidly.
瓊恩放下劍。“為什么？”他傻傻地問。
Mormont snorted.
“Because I sent him, why do you think? He’s bringing the hand your Ghost tore
off the end of Jafer Flowers’s wrist. I have commanded him to take ship to
King’s Landing and lay it before this boy king. That should get young Joffrey’s
attention, I’d think?.?.?.?and Ser Alliser’s a knight, highborn, anointed, with
old friends at court, altogether harder to ignore than a glorified crow.”
莫爾蒙哼了一聲。“你以為呢？當然是我派他去的。他身上帶著杰佛·佛花被你那白靈咬斷的手。我命令他搭船去君臨，將手呈報給那小鬼頭國王看看，這總該吸引喬佛里的注意吧……何況艾里沙爵士出身既好，又是正式冊封的騎士，朝廷里也有舊識，應該不至于像其他穿黑衣的‘烏鴉’弟兄般受到冷落。”
“Crow.” Jon thought the raven sounded faintly indignant.
“烏鴉！”瓊恩覺得烏鴉的口氣有些憤慨。
“As well,” the Lord Commander continued, ignoring the bird’s protest,
“it puts a thousand leagues twixt him and you without it seeming a rebuke.” He
jabbed a finger up at Jon’s face. “And don’t think this means I approve of that
nonsense in the common hall. Valor makes up for a fair amount of folly, but
you’re not a boy anymore, however many years you’ve seen. That’s a man’s sword
you have there, and it will take a man to wield her. I’ll expect you to act the
part, henceforth.”
“總之呢，”總司令不理會烏鴉的抗議，續道，“如此一來你和他就自然隔開了幾千里，也不顯得我偏袒。”他伸出一根指頭指著瓊恩的臉。“但是，別以為這代表我贊同你在大廳里胡來。勇氣雖然可以彌補相當程度的愚蠢，但無論你幾歲，都不是小孩子了。這是把成年人的劍，也只有成年人才配用它。我希望你好自為之。”
“Yes, my lord.” Jon slid the sword back into the silver-banded
scabbard. If not the blade he would have chosen, it was nonetheless a noble
gift, and freeing him from Alliser Thorne’s malignance was nobler still.
“是，大人。”瓊恩把劍收回鑲銀邊的劍鞘。雖說這并非他夢想的劍，但依然是件貴重的禮物，而將他自艾里沙·索恩的惡意侮辱之中釋放出來，更是高貴之舉。
The Old Bear
scratched at his chin. “I had forgotten how much a new beard itches,” he said.
“Well, no help for that. Is that hand of yours healed enough to resume your
duties?”
熊老搔搔下巴。“我都忘記剛長出來的胡子有多癢了。”他說，“唉，也罷。你的手能工作么？”
“Yes, my lord.”
“可以，大人。”
“Good. The night will be cold, I’ll want hot spice wine. Find me a
flagon of red, not too sour, and don’t skimp on the spices. And tell Hobb that
if he sends me boiled mutton again I’m like to boil him. That last haunch was
grey. Even the bird wouldn’t touch it.” He stroked the raven’s head with his
thumb, and the bird made a contented quorking sound. “Away with you. I’ve work
to do.”
“那敢情好。今晚會很冷，我要喝點加料的熱葡萄酒。幫我找瓶紅的，不要太酸，香料也別省。還有，你去跟哈布說，他要是敢再給我送煮羊肉來，我就把他給煮了。上次的后腿肉整個是灰的，連鳥都不吃。”他用拇指搓搓烏鴉的頭，鳥兒發出一聲滿足的咕嚕。“你去吧，我還有事要忙。”
The guards
smiled at him from their niches as he wound his way down the turret stair,
carrying the sword in his good hand. “Sweet steel,” one man said. “You earned
that, Snow,” another told him. Jon made himself smile back at them, but his
heart was not in it. He knew he should be pleased, yet he did not feel it. His
hand ached, and the taste of anger was in his mouth, though he could not have
said who he was angry with or why.
他佩著寶劍走下高塔樓梯，站在壁龕里的守衛微笑著看他。“真是把好劍。”其中一人說。“雪諾，干得漂亮，”另一個人告訴他。瓊恩逼自己也對他們微笑，然而他心底卻沒有笑意。他知道自己應該高興，卻怎么也高興不起來。他的手隱隱作痛，口中有憤怒的味道，可他說不出自己究竟是對誰生氣，或是為何生氣。
A half dozen of
his friends were lurking outside when he left the King’s Tower, where Lord
Commander Mormont now made his residence. They’d hung a target on the granary
doors, so they could seem to be honing their skills as archers, but he knew
lurkers when he saw them. No sooner did he emerge than Pyp called out, “Well,
come about, let’s have a look.”
如今莫爾蒙總司令改住國王塔，瓊恩出塔時，發現五六個朋友正鬼鬼祟祟地等在外面。他們在谷倉門上掛了個箭靶，裝作練習箭法，但他一眼就知道他們別有企圖。他前腳剛落地，派普便叫道：“嘿，快過來讓咱們瞧瞧吧！”
“At what?” Jon said.
“瞧什么？”瓊恩說。
Toad sidled
close. “Your rosy butt cheeks, what else?”
陶德溜過來。“當然是你的紅屁股啰，還有什么？”
“The sword,” Grenn stated. “We want to see the sword.”
“那把劍啦，”葛蘭說，“我們想瞧瞧那把劍。”
Jon raked them
with an accusing look. “You knew.”
瓊恩用充滿責難的眼光掃視他們。“原來你們都知道。”
Pyp grinned.
“We’re not all as dumb as Grenn.”
派普嘻嘻笑道：“我們可不像葛蘭那么笨。”
“You are so,” insisted Grenn. “You’re dumber.”
“你明明就笨，”葛蘭堅持，“你比我還笨。”
Halder gave an
apologetic shrug. “I helped Pate carve the stone for the pommel,” the builder said,
“and your friend Sam bought the garnets in Mole’s Town.”
霍德有些歉疚地聳聳肩。“劍尾的圓球是我和派特一起雕的，”這位工匠說，“紅榴石則是你朋友山姆從鼴鼠村帶回來的。”
“We knew even before that, though,” Grenn said. “Rudge has been
helping Donal Noye in the forge. He was there when the Old Bear brought him the
burnt blade.”
“我們知道得比那更早哩，”葛蘭說。“路奇在唐納·諾伊的鍛爐那邊幫忙，熊老拿燒壞的劍去的時候他剛好在場。”
“The sword!” Matt insisted. The others took up the chant. “The sword,
the sword, the sword.”
“快把劍拿出來！”梅沙堅持。其他人也跟著起哄。“拿劍來！拿劍來！拿劍來！”
Jon unsheathed
Longclaw and showed it to them, turning it this way and that so they could
admire it. The bastard blade glittered in the pale sunlight, dark and deadly.
“Valyrian steel,” he declared solemnly, trying to sound as pleased and proud as
he ought to have felt.
于是瓊恩抽出長爪，左右旋轉，讓他們好好欣賞。長柄劍身在蒼白的日光下閃著陰暗而致命的光澤。“這是瓦雷利亞鋼呢。”他嚴肅地表示，努力裝出應有的快樂和驕傲。
“I heard of a man who had a razor made of Valyrian steel,” declared
Toad. “He cut his head off trying to shave.”
“我聽說啊，從前有個人有把瓦雷利亞鋼打的剃刀，”陶德說，“結果他刮胡子的時候把頭給剃掉了。”
Pyp grinned.
“The Night’s Watch is thousands of years old,” he said, “but I’ll wager Lord
Snow’s the first brother ever honored for burning down the Lord Commander’s
Tower.”
派普嘿嘿一笑。“守夜人雖有幾千年歷史，”他說，“但我敢打賭，咱們雪諾大人肯定是頭一個把司令塔給燒掉的人。”
The others
laughed, and even Jon had to smile. The fire he’d started had not, in truth,
burned down that formidable stone tower, but it had done a fair job of gutting
the interior of the top two floors, where the Old Bear had his chambers. No one
seemed to mind that very much, since it had also destroyed Othor’s murderous
corpse.
眾人哈哈大笑，連瓊恩也忍俊不禁。其實他引起的那場火，并未當真燒毀那座堅實的石砌高塔，只是把塔頂兩層樓的所有房間，也就是熊老的居所，給燒得一干二凈。大家對于損失倒是不以為意，因為這場大火同時也燒毀了奧瑟的殺人死尸。
The other wight,
the one-handed thing that had once been a ranger named Jafer Flowers, had also
been destroyed, cut near to pieces by a dozen swords?.?.?.?but not before it
had slain Ser Jaremy Rykker and four other men. Ser Jaremy had finished the job
of hacking its head off, yet had died all the same when the headless corpse pulled
his own dagger from its sheath and buried it in his bowels. Strength and
courage did not avail much against foemen who would not fall because they were
already dead; even arms and armor offered small protection.
至于那個生前叫做杰佛·佛花，原本是游騎兵，后來只剩一只手的尸鬼，也被十幾個弟兄剁成碎片……然而它卻先殺死了杰瑞米·萊克爵士及其他四人。杰瑞米爵士本已砍下它的頭，可依舊沒能阻止無頭尸鬼拔出他的匕首，深深插入他的肚腹。遇上早已死亡，怎么也不會倒下的敵人，無論力量還是勇氣都沒有太大用處；武器和護甲，所能提供的保護也殊為有限。
That grim
thought soured Jon’s fragile mood. “I need to see Hobb about the Old Bear’s
supper,” he announced brusquely, sliding Longclaw back into its scabbard. His
friends meant well, but they did not understand. It was not their fault, truly;
they had not had to face Othor, they had not seen the pale glow of those dead
blue eyes, had not felt the cold of those dead black fingers. Nor did they know
of the fighting in the riverlands. How could they hope to comprehend? He turned
away from them abruptly and strode off, sullen. Pyp called after him, but Jon
paid him no mind.
這個悲慘的念頭，使得瓊恩原本脆弱的心緒更加惡劣。“我要去找哈布，請他安排熊老的晚餐。”他唐突地對大家宣布，然后將長爪插進劍鞘。他知道朋友們是一番好意，可惜他們不懂。這實在不能說是他們的錯：他們用不著面對奧瑟，沒有親眼目睹那雙死人藍眼的慘白光芒，沒能感受到死人黑手指的冰冷，自然更不關心三河流域的激烈戰事。既然如此，又怎能期望他們了解呢？他唐突地轉身，悶悶不樂地大步離去。派普在身后叫他，但瓊恩沒有理會。
They had moved
him back to his old cell in tumbledown Hardin’s Tower after the fire, and it
was there he returned. Ghost was curled up asleep beside the door, but he
lifted his head at the sound of Jon’s boots. The direwolf’s red eyes were
darker than garnets and wiser than men. Jon knelt, scratched his ear, and
showed him the pommel of the sword. “Look. It’s you.”
火災之后，他們讓他搬回傾頹的哈丁塔，住在他以前那間舊石室里。當他回到房間，白靈正蜷縮在門邊睡覺，但它一聽見瓊恩的靴子聲，便抬起頭來。冰原狼的紅眼睛比紅榴石還要沉暗，比人眼更睿智。瓊恩蹲下來，搔搔它的耳朵，給它看劍尾的圓球。“看，是你呢。”
Ghost sniffed at
his carved stone likeness and tried a lick. Jon smiled. “You’re the one
deserves an honor,” he told the wolf?.?.?.?and suddenly he found himself
remembering how he’d found him, that day in the late summer snow. They had been
riding off with the other pups, but Jon had heard a noise and turned back, and
there he was, white fur almost invisible against the drifts. He was all alone, he
thought, apart from the others in the litter. He was different, so they drove
him out.
白靈聞聞石雕，伸出舌頭舔了一下。瓊恩微笑著告訴小狼：“榮耀歸你所有。”突然間，他回想起自己在晚夏的雪地里找到它的經過。當時他們帶著其他小狼正要回去，可瓊恩聽見了別的聲音，回頭看去，只見雪地里的它一身白毛，幾乎無從分辨。“它就孤身一個，”他心想，“離兄弟姐妹遠遠的。它與眾不同，所以被它們趕走。”
“Jon?” He looked up. Samwell Tarly stood rocking nervously on his
heels. His cheeks were red, and he was wrapped in a heavy fur cloak that made
him look ready for hibernation.
“瓊恩？”他抬起頭。兩頰通紅的山姆威爾·塔利站在面前，局促不安地發抖，全身緊緊裹在厚重的毛皮斗篷里，仿佛即將進入冬眠。
“Sam.” Jon stood. “What is it? Do you want to see the sword?” If the
others had known, no doubt Sam did too.
“山姆，”瓊恩起身。“怎么了？你也想看看那把劍么？”既然大家都知道，山姆自然不例外。
The fat boy
shook his head. “I was heir to my father’s blade once,” he said mournfully.
“Heartsbane. Lord Randyll let me hold it a few times, but it always scared me.
It was Valyrian steel, beautiful but so sharp I was afraid I’d hurt one of my
sisters. Dickon will have it now.” He wiped sweaty hands on his cloak. “I
ah?.?.?.?Maester Aemon wants to see you.”
胖男孩搖搖頭。“我曾經是我父親的寶劍傳人，”他悲戚地說，“那把劍叫‘碎心’。藍道大人讓我拿過幾回，可我每次都很害怕。劍是用瓦雷利亞鋼鑄成，美麗異常，也鋒利異常，我怕會傷到妹妹們。現在狄肯是它的傳人了。”他在斗篷上擦擦手汗。“我……嗯……伊蒙師傅要見你。”
It was not time
for his bandages to be changed. Jon frowned suspiciously. “Why?” he demanded.
Sam looked miserable. That was answer enough. “You told him, didn’t you?” Jon
said angrily. “You told him that you told me.”
還不到換繃帶的時間。瓊恩狐疑地皺眉質問：“他找我做什么？”看著山姆可憐兮兮的模樣，答案已經不問自明。“你跟他說了，是不是？”瓊恩怒道，“你跟他說你告訴我了。”
“I?.?.?.?he?.?.?.?Jon, I didn’t want to?.?.?.?he asked?.?.?.?I mean I
think he knew, he sees things no one else sees ?.?.?.?”
“我……他……瓊恩，我不是故意的……是他問的……我的意思是說……我覺得他根本就知道，他看得見別人看不到的東西。”
“He’s blind,” Jon pointed out forcefully, disgusted. “I can find the
way myself.” He left Sam standing there, openmouthed and quivering.
“他的眼睛早就瞎了。”瓊恩口氣嫌惡地大嚷，“我自己認得路。”說完，他徑自走開，留下目瞪口呆的山姆站在原地發抖。
He found Maester
Aemon up in the rookery, feeding the ravens. Clydas was with him, carrying a
bucket of chopped meat as they shuffled from cage to cage. “Sam said you wanted
me?”
伊蒙學士正在鴉巢里喂渡鴉，克萊達斯提著一桶肉片，跟著他在籠子間行進。“山姆說您有事找我？”
The maester
nodded. “I did indeed. Clydas, give Jon the bucket. Perhaps he will be kind
enough to assist me.” The hunched, pink-eyed brother handed Jon the bucket and
scurried down the ladder. “Toss the meat into the cages,” Aemon instructed him.
“The birds will do the rest. “
學士點點頭。“是我的意思。克萊達斯，請把桶子交給瓊恩，或許他愿意好心地幫我個忙。”駝背紅眼的弟兄將桶子遞給瓊恩，隨后趕忙爬下梯子。“只管把肉丟進籠子，”伊蒙指點他。“鳥兒自己明白。”
Jon shifted the
bucket to his right hand and thrust his left down into the bloody bits. The
ravens began to scream noisily and fly at the bars, beating at the metal with
night-black wings. The meat had been chopped into pieces no larger than a
finger joint. He filled his fist and tossed the raw red morsels into the cage,
and the squawking and squabbling grew hotter. Feathers flew as two of the
larger birds fought over a choice piece. Quickly Jon grabbed a second handful
and threw it in after the first. “Lord Mormont’s raven likes fruit and corn.”
瓊恩將桶子換到右手，左手伸進血紅的肉塊。鴉群見狀，紛紛發出嘈雜的尖叫，在鐵欄里飛來飛去，拍動漆黑如夜的翅膀擊打著金屬鳥籠。肉被切成比指節大不了多少的小碎塊，他抓起滿滿一把血紅肉片丟進籠中，尖叫和振翅聲立刻愈演愈烈。兩只體型較大的渡鴉為了爭奪一塊上好的肉，彼此廝打起來，一時之間羽毛紛飛。瓊恩趕忙又抓一把，丟給其中一只。“莫爾蒙大人的烏鴉喜歡吃水果和玉米。”
“He is a rare bird,” the maester said. “Most ravens will eat grain,
but they prefer flesh. It makes them strong, and I fear they relish the taste
of blood. In that they are like men?.?.?.?and like men, not all ravens are
alike.”
“那是只很罕見的鳥，”學士道：“大部分的烏鴉雖然也吃谷子，但還是偏好肉類。這不光能讓它們強壯，恐怕它們生性就嗜血。在這點上，它們和人類倒是挺像……所以，和人一樣，烏鴉的個性也不全然相同。”
Jon had nothing
to say to that. He threw meat, wondering why he’d been summoned. No doubt the
old man would tell him, in his own good time. Maester Aemon was not a man to be
hurried.
瓊恩接不上話，只好繼續丟肉，不禁納悶自己為何會被找來。也罷，等老人家覺得時機適當，自然會告訴他。伊蒙學士這個人可是催不得的。
“Doves and pigeons can also be trained to carry messages,” the
maester went on, “though the raven is a stronger flyer, larger, bolder, far
more clever, better able to defend itself against hawks?.?.?.?yet ravens are
black, and they eat the dead, so some godly men abhor them. Baelor the Blessed
tried to replace all the ravens with doves, did you know?” The maester turned
his white eyes on Jon, smiling. “The Night’s Watch prefers ravens.”
“鴿子雖然也可以訓練來遞送訊息，”學士續道，“但我們用來送信的渡鴉不僅強健，體型大，膽子壯，聰明得多，遇上老鷹也更有能力自衛……然而渡鴉色黑，又以尸體為食，因此有些信仰虔誠的人憎恨它們。你可知道，‘受神祝福的’貝勒曾試圖用鴿子全面取代渡鴉？當然，他沒有成功。”老師傅面露微笑，將那雙白色盲眼轉向瓊恩。“只有守夜人比較喜歡渡鴉。”
Jon’s fingers
were in the bucket, blood up to the wrist. “Dywen says the wildlings call us
crows,” he said uncertainty.
瓊恩的手指浸在桶子里，血淹及腕。“我聽戴文說，野人也把我們叫做烏鴉。”
“The crow is the raven’s poor cousin. They are both beggars in black,
hated and misunderstood.”
“烏鴉是渡鴉的可憐遠親。它們是一身黑羽的乞食者，向來受到誤解，遭人怨恨。”
Jon wished he
understood what they were talking about, and why. What did he care about ravens
and doves? If the old man had something to say to him, why couldn’t he just say
it?
瓊恩真希望自己能清楚他到底在講些什么，以及其中緣由。渡鴉和鴿子與他何干？如果老人家有話要說，為何不肯直截了當？
“Jon, did you ever wonder why the men of the Night’s Watch take no
wives and father no children?” Maester Aemon asked.
“瓊恩，你可曾想過，為何守夜人不娶妻也不生子？”伊蒙學士問。
Jon shrugged.
“No.” He scattered more meat. The fingers of his left hand were slimy with
blood, and his right throbbed from the weight of the bucket.
瓊恩聳聳肩。“我沒想過。”他又丟了些碎肉。此時他的左手已經沾滿黏滑血漬，右手則因木桶的重量而隱隱作痛。
“So they will not love,” the old man answered, “for love is the bane
of honor, the death of duty.”
“只因如此一來，他們才不會為情愛所困擾，”老師傅自問自答，“情愛是榮譽的大敵，更是責任的大忌。”
That did not
sound right to Jon, yet he said nothing. The maester was a hundred years old,
and a high officer of the Night’s Watch; it was not his place to contradict
him.
瓊恩覺得不太對勁，但他沒說什么。老學士年逾百歲，在守夜人軍團里德高望重，他沒資格去反駁他。
The old man
seemed to sense his doubts. “Tell me, Jon, if the day should ever come when
your lord father must needs choose between honor on the one hand and those he
loves on the other, what would he do?”
老人家似乎察覺了他的不以為然。“瓊恩，你告訴我，假如有這么一天，你的父親大人必須在榮譽和他所愛的人之間做出抉擇，你想他會怎么做？”
Jon hesitated.
He wanted to say that Lord Eddard would never dishonor himself, not even for
love, yet inside a small sly voice whispered, He fathered a bastard, where was
the honor in that? And your mother, what of his duty to her, he will not even
say her name. “He would do whatever was right,” he said?.?.?.?ringingly, to
make up for his hesitation. “No matter what.”
瓊恩遲疑了。他想說艾德公爵絕對不會做出有損名譽的事，即使為了情愛也不例外。然而他心中卻有個狡詐的聲音在悄悄低語：他有個私生子，這有何榮譽可言？還有你母親啊，他負起過對她的責任嗎？他連她的名字都不肯講！“他會做他該做的事，”他刻意拖長音調，借此掩飾自己的猶豫不決。“不管那是什么。”
“Then Lord Eddard is a man in ten thousand. Most of us are not so
strong. What is honor compared to a woman’s love? What is duty against the feel
of a newborn son in your arms?.?.?.?or the memory of a brother’s smile? Wind
and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us
for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy.
“那么，艾德大人是萬里挑一的人才。多數人不若他這么堅強。跟女人的情愛相比，榮譽算得了什么？當你懷抱初生幼兒……或是想起兄弟的笑容，責任又算得了什么？不過都是虛幻，都是空談罷了。我們身為凡人，天上諸神使我們有能力去愛，那是對我們最美好的恩賜，卻也是我們最深沉的悲哀。”
“The men who formed the Night’s Watch knew that only their courage
shielded the realm from the darkness to the north. They knew they must have no
divided loyalties to weaken their resolve. So they vowed they would have no
wives nor children.
“守夜人軍團的創建者深知他們的勇氣是守護王國，抵抗北方黑暗勢力的惟一屏障。他們深知自己不能分神他顧，否則決心必將動搖，所以他們誓不娶妻，誓不生子。”
“Yet brothers they had, and sisters. Mothers who gave them birth,
fathers who gave them names. They came from a hundred quarrelsome kingdoms, and
they knew times may change, but men do not. So they pledged as well that the
Night’s Watch would take no part in the battles of the realms it guarded.
“然而人皆有父母，皆有兄弟姐妹。他們來自紛爭不斷的大小王國，也深知時局雖改，人性終究不變。于是他們立下誓言：守夜人守護王國，但絕不參與其中任何戰役。”
“They kept their pledge. When Aegon slew Black Harren and claimed his
kingdom, Harren’s brother was Lord Commander on the Wall, with ten thousand
swords to hand. He did not march. In the days when the Seven Kingdoms were
seven kingdoms, not a generation passed that three or four of them were not at
war. The Watch took no part. When the Andals crossed the narrow sea and swept
away the kingdoms of the First Men, the sons of the fallen kings held true to
their vows and remained at their posts. So it has always been, for years beyond
counting. Such is the price of honor.
“他們恪守誓言。當伊耿殺死黑心赫倫，奪其王國的時候，赫倫的兄弟正是長城守軍總司令，手下有一萬精兵，但他沒有出兵。當七大王國依舊是七國分立的年代，任何一個時代，至少都有三四個國家彼此交戰，但守夜人沒有參戰。當安達爾人渡海而來，橫掃先民諸國，這些死去國王的子孫們依舊奉誓不渝，堅守崗位。千百年來，始終如一，這便是榮譽的代價。”
“A craven can be as brave as any man, when there is nothing to fear.
And we all do our duty, when there is no cost to it. How easy it seems then, to
walk the path of honor. Yet soon or late in every man’s life comes a day when
it is not easy, a day when he must choose.”
“當一個人無所畏懼時，即便懦夫也能展現不輸于人的勇氣。當我們毋需付出代價時，自然都能盡忠職守。行走在這條榮耀的大道上，似乎是那么地容易。然而每個人的生命中遲早會遇到考驗，那便是他必須抉擇的時刻。”
Some of the
ravens were still eating, long stringy bits of meat dangling from their beaks.
The rest seemed to be watching him. Jon could feel the weight of all those tiny
black eyes. “And this is my day?.?.?.?is that what you’re saying?”
有些渡鴉還在吃，細細的肉絲懸掛在長喙邊，不住搖晃。大多數烏鴉似乎都看著他。瓊恩能感覺每一雙細小的黑眼停在他身上的重量。“如今就是我要抉擇的時刻……您的意思，是這樣嗎？”
Maester Aemon
turned his head and looked at him with those dead white eyes. It was as if he
were seeing right into his heart. Jon felt naked and exposed. He took the
bucket in both hands and flung the rest of the slops through the bars. Strings
of meat and blood flew everywhere, scattering the ravens. They took to the air,
shrieking wildly. The quicker birds snatched morsels on the wing and gulped
them down greedily. Jon let the empty bucket clang to the floor.
伊蒙師傅轉過頭，用那雙瞎了的白眼“看”著他，仿佛可以看透他的心。瓊恩覺得自己赤裸裸的，什么都藏不住。他情不自禁地兩手握起桶子，把剩下的碎肉全倒進籠里。肉條和血水，四處飛濺，渡鴉紛紛振翅散開，瘋狂尖叫。動作快的在空中叼住肉條，貪婪地大口吞咽。瓊恩松開手，任由空桶“咔啦”落地。
The old man laid
a withered, spotted hand on his shoulder. “It hurts, boy,” he said softly. “Oh,
yes. Choosing?.?.?.?it has always hurt. And always will. I know.”
老人伸出一只枯槁而遍布斑點的手，放在他肩上。“孩子，這很痛苦，”他輕聲說，“噢，可不是嘛，做出抉擇……總是痛苦的。現在如此，以后依然。我知道。”
“You don’t know,” Jon said bitterly. “No one knows. Even if I am his
bastard, he’s still my father?.?.?.?”
“不，你不知道。”瓊恩苦澀地說，“沒有人知道。就算我是他的私生子，他依舊是我父親……”
Maester Aemon
sighed. “Have you heard nothing I’ve told you, Jon? Do you think you are the
first?” He shook his ancient head, a gesture weary beyond words. “Three times
the gods saw fit to test my vows. Once when I was a boy, once in the fullness
of my manhood, and once when I had grown old. By then my strength was fled, my
eyes grown dim, yet that last choice was as cruel as the first. My ravens would
bring the news from the south, words darker than their wings, the ruin of my
House, the death of my kin, disgrace and desolation. What could I have done,
old, blind, frail? I was helpless as a suckling babe, yet still it grieved me
to sit forgotten as they cut down my brother’s poor grandson, and his son, and
even the little children?.?.?.?”
伊蒙師傅嘆道：“瓊恩，我剛才告訴你的，你難道都沒聽進去？你難道認為自己是第一個經歷考驗的人嗎？”他搖搖蒼老的頭，那是個虛弱得難以形容的動作。“天上諸神為我的誓言設立過三次考驗。一次在我年幼，一次我正值壯年，最后一次則在我步入老年之后。那時我已年老體衰，視力漸弱，然而面臨的抉擇如同第一次那般殘酷。渡鴉從南方帶來我家族滅亡的消息。黑色的翅膀，黑暗的消息。我的親人死亡、名聲掃地、景況凄涼。但我這個身體虛弱的瞎眼老人能做些什么呢？我像是襁褓中嗷嗷待哺的嬰兒一般無助，可一旦想到自己坐在這里，置身事外，聽任他們殺害我弟弟可憐的孫子，他的曾孫，還有那些無辜的孩兒……”
Jon was shocked
to see the shine of tears in the old man’s eyes. “Who are you?” he asked
quietly, almost in dread.
老人眼中晶瑩的淚水，讓瓊恩驚駭得不能言語。“您究竟是誰？”他近乎恐懼地輕聲問。
A toothless
smile quivered on the ancient lips. “Only a maester of the Citadel, bound in
service to Castle Black and the Night’s Watch. In my order, we put aside our
house names when we take our vows and don the collar.” The old man touched the
maester’s chain that hung loosely around his thin, fleshless neck. “My father
was Maekar, the First of his Name, and my brother Aegon reigned after him in my
stead. My grandfather named me for Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, who was his
uncle, or his father, depending on which tale you believe. Aemon, he called
me?.?.?.?”
那雙老邁的唇微微牽起，露出一張無牙的嘴。“不過就是個自學城畢業，立誓為黑城堡與守夜人奉獻心力的學士罷了。在我的組織里，每當我們立下誓言，戴起項鏈之時，便須拋棄原有的家族姓氏。”老人摸摸掛在自己削瘦脖子上的項鏈。“我的父親是梅卡一世，在他之后，我的弟弟伊耿代替我繼承王位。我的祖父為我取名伊蒙，用以紀念龍騎士伊蒙王子，也就是他的叔叔，或者他的父親，看你相信哪個版本的故事。我原名……”
“Aemon?.?.?.?Targaryen?” Jon could scarcely believe it.
“伊蒙……‘坦格利安’？”瓊恩簡直不敢相信。
“Once,” the old man said. “Once. So you see, Jon, I do know?.?.?.?and
knowing, I will not tell you stay or go. You must make that choice yourself,
and live with it all the rest of your days. As I have.” His voice fell to a
whisper. “As I have?.?.?.?”
“都是過去的事，”老人說：“過去的事了。所以，瓊恩，你看，我的確是明白你的感受……正因為明白，所以我不會要求你留下或是離開。你必須自己做出這個抉擇，然后一輩子與之相伴，就像我一樣。”他的聲音只剩囈語。“就像我一樣……”
