JON

瓊恩

?? There were times, not many, but a few, whenJon Snow was glad he was a bastard. As he filled his wine cup once more from apassing flagon, it struck him that this might be one of them.

在某些場合——雖然不多，卻依舊存在——瓊恩·雪諾會暗自慶幸自己是個私生子。當他拿起傳來的酒壺，把自己剛喝干的杯子斟滿時，他驚覺現在就是這樣的場合。

?? He settled back in his place on the benchamong the younger squires and drank. The sweet, fruity taste of summerwinefilled his mouth and brought a smile to his lips.

他返身坐回長凳，和青年侍從們坐在一起，啜飲杯中佳釀。滿口夏日紅酒甜美的水果香氣，牽起他嘴角的一絲微笑。

?? The Great Hall of Winterfell was hazy withsmoke and heavy with the smell of roasted meat and fresh-baked bread. Its greystone walls were draped with banners. White, gold, crimson: the direwolf ofStark, Baratheon’s crowned stag, the lion of Lannister. A singer was playingthe high harp and reciting a ballad, but down at this end of the hall his voicecould scarcely be heard above the roar of the fire, the clangor of pewterplates and cups, and the low mutter of a hundred drunken conversations.

臨冬城的大廳里熱氣蒸騰，四溢著烤肉和剛出爐的面包所散發的香味。大廳的灰石墻上掛滿了各家旗幟，白色是史塔克家族的冰原奔狼，金色是拜拉席恩家族的寶冠雄鹿，緋紅則是蘭尼斯特家族的怒吼雄獅。大廳里有位歌手正撥弄豎琴，高唱歌謠，然而在爐火熊熊，蠟碟碰撞和酩酊交談的喧囂覆蓋下，坐在長廳末端的他根本聽不清楚。

?? It was the fourth hour of the welcomingfeast laid for the king. Jon’s brothers and sisters had been seated with theroyal children, beneath the raised platform where Lord and Lady Stark hostedthe king and queen. In honor of the occasion, his lord father would doubtlesspermit each child a glass of wine, but no more than that. Down here on thebenches, there was no one to stop Jon drinking as much as he had a thirst for.

為國王接風洗塵而舉辦的歡迎晚宴，已經進行了整整四個鐘頭。瓊恩的兄弟姐妹和他隔著整個大廳，他們和王子公主們坐在一起，只比史塔克公爵夫婦和國王王后所處的高臺低一席。每逢這種特殊場合，他的公爵父親總會特許每個孩子喝一杯葡萄酒，但不準再多。反倒是像他這樣與隨從仆役們在一塊兒，沒人會管他喝多少。

?? And he was finding that he had a man’sthirst, to the raucous delight of the youths around him, who urged him on everytime he drained a glass. They were fine company, and Jon relished the storiesthey were telling, tales of battle and bedding and the hunt. He was certainthat his companions were more entertaining than the king’s offspring. He hadsated his curiosity about the visitors when they made their entrance. Theprocession had passed not a foot from the place he had been given on the bench,and Jon had gotten a good long look at them all.

他發現自己的酒量原來和成人差不多，在身旁這群興高采烈的年輕人慫恿下，每當喝干一杯，他們就慫恿他再來一杯。瓊恩很樂意與他們為伍，津津有味地聽他們彼此吹噓戰爭、打獵和偷情的故事。他相信這群伙伴絕對比王子公主們有趣。先前當訪客們從大門口魚貫而入時，他已經滿足了自己的好奇心。隊伍正好從他座位前方不遠處經過，他便好好地瞧了個清楚。

?? His lord father had come first, escortingthe queen. She was as beautiful as men said. A jeweled tiara gleamed amidst herlong golden hair, its emeralds a perfect match for the green of her eyes. Hisfather helped her up the steps to the dais and led her to her seat, but thequeen never so much as looked at him. Even at fourteen, Jon could see throughher smile.

他的公爵父親護送王后走在前面，她正如傳聞中那么美麗，鑲滿寶石的頭冠襯著她金色的長發，閃閃發亮，其上鑲嵌的翡翠和她璀璨明亮的碧眼搭配得完美無瑕。父親攙扶她步上高臺，引她到席位坐下，然而她自始至終都沒正眼瞧他一下。瓊恩雖然只有十四歲，但他還是看得出王后的笑容只是表面功夫。

?? Next had come King Robert himself, with LadyStark on his arm. The king was a great disappointment to Jon. His father hadtalked of him often: the peerless Robert Baratheon, demon of the Trident, thefiercest warrior of the realm, a giant among princes. Jon saw only a fat man,red-faced under his beard, sweating through his silks. He walked like a manhalf in his cups.

接著是國王本人，他挽著史塔克夫人的手走了進來。瓊恩見到國王，只覺大失所望。父親常說起那個天下無雙的勇士勞勃·拜拉席恩，三叉戟河的惡魔，全國最驍勇善戰的武士，在王公貴族間卓然不群。可在瓊恩眼里，他不過是個紅臉長須，汗流浹背的胖子，走起路來一副耽溺杯中物的模樣。

?? After them came the children. Little Rickonfirst, managing the long walk with all the dignity a three-year-old couldmuster. Jon had to urge him on when he stopped to visit. Close behind cameRobb, in grey wool trimmed with white, the Stark colors. He had the PrincessMyrcella on his arm. She was a wisp of a girl, not quite eight, her hair acascade of golden curls under a jeweled net. Jon noticed the shy looks she gaveRobb as they passed between the tables and the timid way she smiled at him. Hedecided she was insipid. Robb didn’t even have the sense to realize how stupidshe was; he was grinning like a fool.

在他之后進來的是孩子們，小瑞肯走在第一，很努力地要裝出三歲小孩所能表現出來的莊嚴姿態。他走到瓊恩面前時還停下來打招呼，瓊恩只得催促他快走。羅柏緊跟在后，他穿著象征史塔克家族色彩的灰絨白邊羊毛衣，挽著彌賽菈公主的手。她還是個小女孩，年紀不滿八歲，珠光寶氣的發網內金色卷發有如瀑布般流瀉直下。他們經過時，瓊恩注意到她看著羅柏時的羞赧微笑。他的結論是這女孩八成挺無趣。不過羅柏根本就沒發現她有多蠢，他自己也看著她，笑得像個傻子。

?? His half sisters escorted the royal princes.Arya was paired with plump young Tommen, whose white-blond hair was longer thanhers. Sansa, two years older, drew the crown prince, Joffrey Baratheon. He wastwelve, younger than Jon or Robb, but taller than either, to Jon’s vast dismay.Prince Joffrey had his sister’s hair and his mother’s deep green eyes. A thicktangle of blond curls dripped down past his golden choker and high velvetcollar. Sansa looked radiant as she walked beside him, but Jon did not likeJoffrey’s pouty lips or the bored, disdainful way he looked at Winterfell’s GreatHall.

接著他的兩個異母妹妹也護送王子們進來了，艾莉亞和胖嘟嘟的托曼王子走在一塊兒，他那白金色的長發比她的頭發還要長。大她兩歲的珊莎則陪著王太子喬佛里·拜拉席恩。喬佛里今年十二歲，年紀比瓊恩和羅柏都小，長得卻比兩人都要高，瓊恩想到這就不痛快。喬佛里王子有妹妹的長發和母親的深邃碧眼，金色的發卷蓋過金色寬領帶和高貴的天鵝絨衣領，珊莎走在他身旁，容光煥發。不過瓊恩可一點也不喜歡喬佛里那副嘴唇上噘，對臨冬城大廳輕蔑鄙夷的神態。

?? He was more interested in the pair that camebehind him: the queen’s brothers, the Lannisters of Casterly Rock. The Lion andthe Imp; there was no mistaking which was which. Ser Jaime Lannister was twinto Queen Cersei; tall and golden, with flashing green eyes and a smile that cutlike a knife. He wore crimson silk, high black boots, a black satin cloak. Onthe breast of his tunic, the lion of his House was embroidered in gold thread,roaring its defiance. They called him the Lion of Lannister to his face andwhispered “Kingslayer” behind his back.

他對走在王太子后面的這一對比較感興趣：他們是王后的兄弟，都是凱巖城蘭尼斯特家的人。任何人都不會把誰是“雄獅”，誰又是“小惡魔”給弄混的。詹姆·蘭尼斯特爵士是瑟曦王后的孿生手足，生得高大英挺，金發飄揚，有著閃亮的碧眼和利如刀鋒的笑容。他穿著大紅絲質長衫，漆黑高統靴和黑緞長披風。上衣的前胸用金線繡了只蘭尼斯特家怒吼不馴的雄獅。人們稱他“蘭尼斯特雄獅”，又在背后竊竊私語“弒君者”這個名號。

?? Jon found it hard to look away from him.This is what a king should look like, he thought to himself as the man passed.

瓊恩發覺自己幾乎無法將視線自他身上抽離。這才是王者應有的風范，詹姆走過面前時，他如此暗想。

?? Then he saw the other one, waddling alonghalf-hidden by his brother’s side. Tyrion Lannister, the youngest of LordTywin’s brood and by far the ugliest. All that the gods had given to Cersei andJaime, they had denied Tyrion. He was a dwarf, half his brother’s height,struggling to keep pace on stunted legs. His head was too large for his body,with a brute’s squashed-in face beneath a swollen shelf of brow. One green eyeand one black one peered out from under a lank fall of hair so blond it seemedwhite. Jon watched him with fascination.

接著他望向詹姆的兄弟，他正搖搖擺擺、半躲藏地走在哥哥身邊。提利昂·蘭尼斯特是泰溫公爵年紀最小，也最丑陋的孩子。諸神賜予瑟曦和詹姆的一切優點，一樣都沒留給提利昂。他是個身高只有哥哥一半的侏儒，鼓動著畸形的雙腿努力想跟上哥哥的腳步。他的頭大得不合比例，鼓脹額頭下是一張扭曲的怪臉。雙眼一碧一黑，從滿頭長直金發下面向外窺視，他頭發的顏色幾乎金亮成白。瓊恩饒富興味地看著他打面前經過。

?? The last of the high lords to enter were hisuncle, Benjen Stark of the Night’s Watch, and his father’s ward, young TheonGreyjoy. Benjen gave Jon a warm smile as he went by. Theon ignored him utterly,but there was nothing new in that. After all had been seated, toasts were made,thanks were given and returned, and then the feasting began.

達官貴胄中最后進來的是他叔叔，守夜人部隊的班揚·史塔克，以及父親年輕的養子席恩·葛雷喬伊。班揚經過時對他露出溫和的微笑，席恩則對他完全視若無睹，不過這也不是一兩天的事情了。等貴賓全部就座之后，大家彼此舉杯祝福，互致賀詞，然后晚宴便正式開始。

?? Jon had started drinking then, and he hadnot stopped.

瓊恩從那時起就在喝酒，到現在還沒停下。

?? Something rubbed against his leg beneath thetable. Jon saw red eyes staring up at him. “Hungry again?” he asked. There wasstill half a honeyed chicken in the center of the table. Jon reached out totear off a leg, then had a better idea. He knifed the bird whole and let thecarcass slide to the floor between his legs. Ghost ripped into it in savagesilence. His brothers and sisters had not been permitted to bring their wolvesto the banquet, but there were more curs than Jon could count at this end ofthe hall, and no one had said a word about his pup. He told himself he wasfortunate in that too.

長桌下有東西摩擦他的腳，低頭只見一對紅眼睛盯著他望。“肚子又餓了？”他問。餐桌中間還有半只蜜汁烤雞，瓊恩伸手撕下一只雞腿，突然心生一計，用餐刀把整只雞的肉切割下來，然后讓剩余的雞骨從自己雙腿間滑到地上。“白靈”野蠻卻安靜地撕咬起骨頭。他的兄妹們都不準帶狼進宴會廳，惟有瓊恩所處的大廳尾端，狗多得數不清，自然也沒人管他的小狼。他告訴自己這也算專有的好福氣。

?? His eyes stung. Jon rubbed at them savagely,cursing the smoke. He swallowed another gulp of wine and watched his direwolfdevour the chicken.

眼睛突然一陣刺痛，瓊恩粗魯地揉揉，咒罵著熏煙。他又喝了一大口葡萄酒，然后看著白靈吞噬了整只雞。

?? Dogs moved between the tables, trailingafter the serving girls. One of them, a black mongrel bitch with long yelloweyes, caught a scent of the chicken. She stopped and edged under the bench toget a share. Jon watched the confrontation. The bitch growled low in her throatand moved closer. Ghost looked up, silent, and fixed the dog with those hot redeyes. The bitch snapped an angry challenge. She was three times the size of thedirewolf pup. Ghost did not move. He stood over his prize and opened his mouth,baring his fangs. The bitch tensed, barked again, then thought better of thisfight. She turned and slunk away, with one last defiant snap to save her pride.Ghost went back to his meal.

狗們在餐桌間來回走動，跟著女侍四處逡巡。其中有一只長著大大的黃眼睛的黑色混血母狗聞到了雞肉香味，便停下腳步，低身擠過長椅想要分一杯羹。瓊恩冷眼旁觀雙方對峙，只見那母狗喉頭發出低吼，慢慢靠近。白靈則沉默地抬頭，用那雙血紅的眼睛冷冷瞪視對方。母狗發出一聲憤怒的挑釁，她的身軀是小冰原狼的三倍，但白靈卻動也不動，只霸占住自己的食物，張開嘴巴，露出尖牙。母狗見狀，又吠了一聲，最后決定這場架還是不打為妙。于是它轉身溜走，離去前還不忘傲慢地吠了一聲以維持自尊。白靈繼續低頭猛嚼。

?? Jon grinned and reached under the table toruffle the shaggy white fur. The direwolf looked up at him, nipped gently athis hand, then went back to eating.

瓊恩得意地笑著，探手到桌底摸摸它一身蓬松的白絨毛。小狼抬起頭望他，溫柔地咬了他的手一口，然后又低頭大快朵頤。

?? “Is this one of the direwolves I’ve heard somuch of?” a familiar voice asked close at hand.

“這就是大名鼎鼎的冰原狼嗎？”一個熟悉的聲音在身旁問。

?? Jon looked up happily as his uncle Ben put ahand on his head and ruffled his hair much as Jon had ruffled the wolf’s.“Yes,” he said. “His name is Ghost.”

瓊恩開心地抬頭，班叔叔把手放在他頭上，撥弄著他的頭發，就好像他剛才撥弄白靈身上的毛一樣。“對，”他回答，“它叫做白靈。”

?? One of the squires interrupted the bawdystory he’d been telling to make room at the table for their lord’s brother.Benjen Stark straddled the bench with long legs and took the wine cup out ofJon’s hand. “Summerwine,” he said after a taste. “Nothing so sweet. How manycups have you had, Jon?”

一名正說著低級故事的侍從停下來，挪出位置給公爵的弟弟坐。班揚·史塔克跨坐上長凳，從瓊恩手里接過酒杯。“夏日紅，”他嘗了一口后緩緩地說，“沒有東西比得上這酒甜美。瓊恩，你今晚喝了幾杯？”

?? Jon smiled.

瓊恩笑而不答。

?? Ben Stark laughed. “As I feared. Ah, well. Ibelieve I was younger than you the first time I got truly and sincerely drunk.”He snagged a roasted onion, dripping brown with gravy, from a nearby trencherand bit into it. It crunched.

班揚·史塔克笑道：“果不出我所料。呵呵，算了。記得我自己第一次喝得酩酊大醉時，年紀比你還小。”他從旁邊木餐盤里揀起一顆滴著棕色肉汁的烤洋蔥，一口咬將下去，發出松脆的喀嚓聲響。

?? His uncle was sharp-featured and gaunt as amountain crag, but there was always a hint of laughter in his blue-grey eyes.He dressed in black, as befitted a man of the Night’s Watch. Tonight it wasrich black velvet, with high leather boots and a wide belt with a silverbuckle. A heavy silver chain was looped round his neck. Benjen watched Ghostwith amusement as he ate his onion. “A very quiet wolf,” he observed.

他的叔叔容貌銳利，瘦削有如危巖嶙峋，但他灰藍色的眼睛里永遠帶著笑意。他和所有守夜人一樣一襲黑衣，今晚他身著厚實的天鵝絨長衫，腳穿皮里高統靴，腰系寬邊皮帶和鍍銀扣環，脖間還戴了串沉甸甸的銀項鏈。班揚一邊吃洋蔥，一邊興味盎然地看著白靈。“很安靜的一只狼。”他做出結論。

?? “He’s not like the others,” Jon said. “Henever makes a sound. That’s why I named him Ghost. That, and because he’swhite. The others are all dark, grey or black.”

“它和其他幾只很不一樣，”瓊恩說，“從來都一聲不吭，所以我才叫它白靈，這也是因為它的毛色，其他幾只狼毛色都很深，不是灰就是黑。”

?? “There are still direwolves beyond the Wall.We hear them on our rangings.” Benjen Stark gave Jon a long look. “Don’t youusually eat at table with your brothers?”

“長城外也有冰原狼，我們外出巡邏時經常聽到它們的嚎叫。”班揚·史塔克意味深長地看著瓊恩，“你平日不是都和你弟弟他們同桌吃飯嗎？”

?? “Most times,” Jon answered in a flat voice.“But tonight Lady Stark thought it might give insult to the royal family toseat a bastard among them.”

“那是平日，”瓊恩語調平板地回答，“夫人認為，今晚若讓私生子與他們同桌用餐，對王族是種侮辱。”

?? “I see.” His uncle glanced over his shoulderat the raised table at the far end of the hall. “My brother does not seem veryfestive tonight.”

“原來如此。”叔叔轉頭看看大廳盡頭高臺上的餐桌，“我哥哥今晚看上去不太有慶祝的興致。”

?? Jon had noticed that too. A bastard had tolearn to notice things, to read the truth that people hid behind their eyes. Hisfather was observing all the courtesies, but there was tightness in him thatJon had seldom seen before. He said little, looking out over the hall withhooded eyes, seeing nothing. Two seats away, the king had been drinking heavilyall night. His broad face was flushed behind his great black beard. He mademany a toast, laughed loudly at every jest, and attacked each dish like astarving man, but beside him the queen seemed as cold as an ice sculpture. “Thequeen is angry too,” Jon told his uncle in a low, quiet voice. “Father took theking down to the crypts this afternoon. The queen didn’t want him to go.”

瓊恩也注意到了，私生子必須學會察言觀色，洞悉隱藏在人們眼里的喜怒哀樂。他父親固然舉止都合乎禮數，但神情里卻有種瓊恩從未見過的拘束。他不多說話，始終用低低的眼神掃視全廳，目光十分空洞。隔著兩個位子的國王倒是整晚開懷暢飲，絡腮胡后那張大臉脹得通紅，他不斷地舉杯敬酒，聽了每一個笑話都樂得前仰后合，每一道菜他都像個餓鬼似地吃個不休。但坐在他身旁的王后卻如一尊冰冷的雕像。“王后也在生氣，”瓊恩低聲對他叔叔說，“下午父親大人帶國王去了地下陵寢，王后本不希望他去的。”

?? Benjen gave Jon a careful, measuring look.“You don’t miss much, do you, Jon? We could use a man like you on the Wall.”

班揚仔細地審視了瓊恩一番，說：“瓊恩，什么事都逃不過你眼光，是么？我們長城守軍很需要你這樣的人才。”

?? Jonswelled with pride. “Robb is a stronger lance than I am, but I’m the bettersword, and Hullen says I sit a horse as well as anyone in the castle.”

瓊恩驕傲地說：“羅柏用起長槍來比我有力，但是我劍使得比較好，胡倫還說我的騎術在城里也是數一數二。”

?? “Notable achievements.”

“的確很不容易。”

?? “Take me with you when you go back to theWall,” Jon said in a sudden rush. “Father will give me leave to go if you askhim, I know he will.”

“你回去的時候，帶我一道走罷。”瓊恩突然激動起來，“只要你去跟父親大人說，他一定會同意，我知道他一定會。”

?? Uncle Benjen studied his face carefully.“The Wall is a hard place for a boy, Jon.”

班揚叔叔再度審視他的臉龐，“瓊恩，對一個男孩子來說，長城是個很艱苦的地方。”

?? “I am almost a man grown,” Jon protested. “Iwill turn fifteen on my next name day, and Maester Luwin says bastards grow upfaster than other children.”

“我差不多成年了，”瓊恩辯解，“下個命名日我就滿十五歲，而且魯溫師傅說私生子會比其他孩子長得快。”

?? “That’s true enough,” Benjen said with adownward twist of his mouth. He took Jon’s cup from the table, filled it freshfrom a nearby pitcher, and drank down a long swallow.

“這倒是真的。”班揚的嘴角向下微翹，他從桌上拿起瓊恩的酒杯，斟滿葡萄酒，深吸一口。

?? “Daeren Targaryen was only fourteen when heconquered Dorne,” Jon said. The Young Dragon was one of his heroes.

“戴倫·坦格利安征服多恩領的時候也不過十四歲。”瓊恩又說。傳說中的年輕龍王是他心目中的英雄。

?? “A conquest that lasted a summer,” his unclepointed out. “Your Boy King lost ten thousand men taking the place, and anotherfifty trying to hold it. Someone should have told him that war isn’t a game.”He took another sip of wine. “Also,” he said, wiping his mouth, “DaerenTargaryen was only eighteen when he died. Or have you forgotten that part?”

“那場仗可是打了一整個夏天，”叔叔提醒道，“你說的這個年輕國王，為了攻下多恩，死了一萬人，后來為了守住它，又死了五萬人。應該有人告訴他，戰爭可不是兒戲。”他又啜了口酒，抹抹嘴，“而且，戴倫·坦格利安十八歲就英年早逝，你該不會忘記這一部分吧？”

?? “I forget nothing,” Jon boasted. The winewas making him bold. He tried to sit very straight, to make himself seemtaller. “I want to serve in the Night’s Watch, Uncle.”

“我什么都沒忘，”瓊恩吹噓，酒精讓他膽子也大了起來。他試著坐直身子，好讓自己看起來更高大，“叔叔，我想進入守夜人部隊服役。”

?? He had thought on it long and hard, lyingabed at night while his brothers slept around him. Robb would someday inheritWinterfell, would command great armies as the Warden of the North. Bran andRickon would be Robb’s bannermen and rule holdfasts in his name. His sistersArya and Sansa would marry the heirs of other great houses and go south asmistress of castles of their own. But what place could a bastard hope to earn?

對于這個決定，他早已反復思量，夜里，當他的兄弟們在身邊安睡酣眠，他卻輾轉難安。羅柏有朝一日會繼承臨冬城，以北境守護的身份指揮千軍萬馬。布蘭和瑞肯則將成為他的封臣，擁有各自的莊園，為他管理內政。妹妹艾莉亞和珊莎會嫁給其他豪族的子嗣，以貴族夫人的身份前往南方屬于她們的領地。惟有他，區區一個私生子，能指望些什么呢？

?? “You don’t know what you’re asking, Jon. TheNight’s Watch is a sworn brotherhood. We have no families. None of us will everfather sons. Our wife is duty. Our mistress is honor.”

“瓊恩，你恐怕不知道。守夜人是一個視死如歸的團體，我們沒有家庭羈絆，永遠也不會生兒育女，我們以責任為妻，以榮譽為妾。”

?? “A bastard can have honor too,” Jon said. “Iam ready to swear your oath.”

“私生子一樣有榮譽心，”瓊恩說，“我已經做好宣誓加入的準備了。”

?? “You are a boy of fourteen,” Benjen said.“Not a man, not yet. Until you have known a woman, you cannot understand whatyou would be giving up.”

“你只是個十四歲的孩子，”班揚答道，“還算不上成人。在你接觸女人之前，恐怕無法想像要付出的代價有多大。”

?? “I don’t care about that!” Jon said hotly.

“我才不在乎那個！”瓊恩火氣直往上撞。

?? “You might, if you knew what it meant,”Benjen said. “If you knew what the oath would cost you, you might be less eagerto pay the price, son.”

“你若是知道，多半就會在乎了。”班揚說，“孩子啊，倘若你知道發了這誓，會有什么樣的后果，你就不會這么急著要加入了。”

?? Jon felt anger rise inside him. “I’m notyour son!”

瓊恩聽了更覺氣惱：“我才不是你的孩子！”

?? Benjen Stark stood up. “More’s the pity.” Heput a hand on Jon’s shoulder. “Come back to me after you’ve fathered a fewbastards of your own, and we’ll see how you feel.”

班揚·史塔克站起身，“我就可惜你不是我孩子。”他拍拍瓊恩肩膀，“等你在外面生了兩三個私生子，再來找我，到時候看看自己會有什么想法。”

?? Jon trembled. “I will never father abastard,” he said carefully. “Never!” He spat it out like venom.

瓊恩渾身顫抖。“我絕不會在外面生什么私生子，”他一字一頓地說，“永遠不會！”他將最后一句話當成毒液般吐出口。

?? Suddenly he realized that the table hadfallen silent, and they were all looking at him. He felt the tears begin towell behind his eyes. He pushed himself to his feet.

這時他驚覺全桌的人不知什么時候都靜了下來，所有人都盯著他。他只覺淚水充滿眼眶，最后他站了起來。

?? “I must be excused,” he said with the lastof his dignity. He whirled and bolted before they could see him cry. He musthave drunk more wine than he had realized. His feet got tangled under him as hetried to leave, and he lurched sideways into a serving girl and sent a flagonof spiced wine crashing to the floor. Laughter boomed all around him, and Jonfelt hot tears on his cheeks. Someone tried to steady him. He wrenched free oftheir grip and ran, half-blind, for the door. Ghost followed close at hisheels, out into the night.

“恕我先告退。”他用最后一絲尊嚴說道，然后趁其他人看到他眼淚掉下之前，旋風似地跑開。他一定是喝多了，兩只腳仿佛打了結，當即與一位女侍撞個滿懷，使一壺摻香料的葡萄酒潑灑在地，四座頓時響起哄堂大笑。瓊恩眼中的熱淚滾下面頰，有人想攙他，但他甩開善意的手，憑著辨不清地面的眼睛，繼續朝大門跑去。白靈緊隨其后，奔進低垂的夜幕。

?? The yard was quiet and empty. A lone sentrystood high on the battlements of the inner wall, his cloak pulled tight aroundhim against the cold. He looked bored and miserable as he huddled there alone,but Jon would have traded places with him in an instant. Otherwise the castlewas dark and deserted. Jon had seen an abandoned holdfast once, a drear placewhere nothing moved but the wind and the stones kept silent about whateverpeople had lived there. Winterfell reminded him of that tonight.

空蕩的庭院分外寂靜，內墻城垛上只有一位拉緊斗篷抵御寒意的守衛，獨自蜷縮墻角，雖然看上去百無聊賴，表情悲苦，但瓊恩卻有一千個一萬個想和他交換位置的愿望。除此之外，整座孤城四下漆黑，滿是寂寥。瓊恩曾去過一座被遺棄的莊園，那里杳無人跡、沉默陰郁，四下一片肅然，惟有巨石在默默傾訴過往主人的景況。今夜的臨冬城便讓瓊恩聯想起當時的情景。

?? The sounds of music and song spilled throughthe open windows behind him. They were the last things Jon wanted to hear. Hewiped away his tears on the sleeve of his shirt, furious that he had let themfall, and turned to go.

笙歌舞樂從身后敞開的窗戶向外流瀉，正是他此刻最不想聽的靡靡之音。他用衣袖抹去淚水，氣惱自己如何把持不住，隨后準備轉身離開。

?? “Boy,” a voice called out to him. Jonturned.

“小子。”有人叫住他。瓊恩轉頭。

?? Tyrion Lannister was sitting on the ledgeabove the door to the Great Hall, looking for all the world like a gargoyle.The dwarf grinned down at him. “Is that animal a wolf?”

提利昂·蘭尼斯特正坐在廳堂前門上面突出的壁架上，睥睨世間萬物，活像只石像鬼。這侏儒朝他笑笑：“你身旁那家伙可是只狼？”

?? “A direwolf,” Jon said. “His name is Ghost.”He stared up at the little man, his disappointment suddenly forgotten. “Whatare you doing up there? Why aren’t you at the feast?”

“是冰原狼。”瓊恩說，“叫做白靈。”他抬頭望著侏儒，先前的不滿被好奇取而代之。“你在那兒做什么？怎沒在里面參加晚宴呢？”

?? “Too hot, too noisy, and I’d drunk too muchwine,” the dwarf told him. “I learned long ago that it is considered rude tovomit on your brother. Might I have a closer look at your wolf?”

“里面太熱太吵，我又多喝了點酒。”侏儒告訴他，“很久以前，我就學到了一個教訓：在你的哥哥身上嘔吐是件不太禮貌的事。我可以靠近瞧瞧你那只狼嗎？”

?? Jon hesitated, then nodded slowly. “Can youclimb down, or shall I bring a ladder?”

瓊恩遲疑了一下，然后緩緩點頭：“你能自己下來么？還是要我去弄張梯子？”

?? “Oh, bleed that,” the little man said. Hepushed himself off the ledge into empty air. Jon gasped, then watched with aweas Tyrion Lannister spun around in a tight ball, landed lightly on his hands,then vaulted backward onto his legs.

“去，瞧不起我啊？”小個子說。他兩手往后一用力，整個人翻騰進半空中。瓊恩驚訝得喘不過氣，瞠目結舌地看著提利昂緊縮成一個球，輕巧地以手著地，然后后空翻站起身。

?? Ghost backed away from him uncertainly.

白靈有些遲疑地向后退了幾步。

?? The dwarf dusted himself off and laughed. “Ibelieve I’ve frightened your wolf. My apologies.”

侏儒拍拍身上的灰塵，笑道：“我想我一定是嚇著你的小狼了。真不好意思。”

?? “He’s not scared,” Jon said. He knelt andcalled out. “Ghost, come here. Come on. That’s it.”

“他才沒被嚇著。”瓊恩邊說邊彎身喚道：“白靈，過來，快過來，乖。”

?? The wolf pup padded closer and nuzzled atJon’s face, but he kept a wary eye on Tyrion Lannister, and when the dwarfreached out to pet him, he drew back and bared his fangs in a silent snarl.“Shy, isn’t he?” Lannister observed.

小狼溜達過來，親熱地用鼻子摩擦瓊恩的臉頰，卻始終對提利昂·蘭尼斯特保持警戒。當侏儒伸手想摸它時，它立刻抽身后退，露出利齒，發出無聲的咆哮。“挺怕生的么？”蘭尼斯特說。

?? “Sit, Ghost,” Jon commanded. “That’s it.Keep still.” He looked up at the dwarf. “You can touch him now. He won’t moveuntil I tell him to. I’ve been training him.”

“白靈，坐下。”瓊恩命令，“就是這樣，坐著別亂動。”他抬頭望向侏儒，“你現在可以摸他了。除非我叫它動，否則他不會亂動的。我正在訓練他。”

?? “I see,” Lannister said. He ruffled thesnow-white fur between Ghost’s ears and said, “Nice wolf.”

“原來如此。”蘭尼斯特搔搔白靈兩耳間白如細雪的絨毛，“乖狼狼。”

?? “If I wasn’t here, he’d tear out yourthroat,” Jon said. It wasn’t actually true yet, but it would be.

“若我不在這里，他早把你的喉嚨撕開了。”瓊恩說。其實這話當下還不能成真，不過看小狼的長勢卻也為時不遠。

?? “In that case, you had best stay close,” thedwarf said. He cocked his oversized head to one side and looked Jon over withhis mismatched eyes. “I am Tyrion Lannister.”

“如果這樣，那你還是別走開的好。”侏儒答道。他歪了歪那顆過大的腦袋，用那雙大小不一的眼睛仔細打量瓊恩，“我是提利昂·蘭尼斯特。”

?? “I know,” Jon said. He rose. Standing, hewas taller than the dwarf. It made him feel strange.

“我知道。”瓊恩邊說邊起身。他站著比那侏儒高多了，不禁覺得很怪異。

?? “You’re Ned Stark’s bastard, aren’t you?”

“你是奈德·史塔克的私生子吧？”

?? Jon felt a coldness pass right through him.He pressed his lips together and said nothing.

瓊恩只覺得一股寒意刺進全身，他抿緊嘴唇，沒有答話。

?? “Did I offend you?” Lannister said. “Sorry.Dwarfs don’t have to be tactful. Generations of capering fools in motley havewon me the right to dress badly and say any damn thing that comes into myhead.” He grinned. “You are the bastard, though.”

“我冒犯到你了嗎？”蘭尼斯特忙道，“抱歉，侏儒向來不太懂得察言觀色。反正歷來雜耍賣藝的侏儒前輩們個個衣著隨便，口無遮攔，我也就有樣學樣啦。”他嘿嘿笑著，“不過你確實是個私生子。”

?? “Lord Eddard Stark is my father,” Jonadmitted stiffly.

“艾德·史塔克大人是我父親沒錯。”瓊恩終于還是承認了。

?? Lannister studied his face. “Yes,” he said.“I can see it. You have more of the north in you than your brothers.”

“嗯，”蘭尼斯特端詳著他的臉，“看得出來。跟你那些兄弟相比，你還比較有北方人的味道。”

?? “Half brothers,” Jon corrected. He waspleased by the dwarf’s comment, but he tried not to let it show.

“同父異母的兄弟。”瓊恩糾正，心里暗暗為侏儒的說法感到高興。

?? “Let me give you some counsel, bastard,”Lannister said. “Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Makeit your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, andit will never be used to hurt you.”

“那么私生子小弟，讓我給你一點建議罷。”蘭尼斯特道，“永遠不要忘記自己是什么人，因為這個世界不會忘記。你要化阻力為助力，如此一來才沒有弱點。用它來武裝自己，就沒有人可以用它來傷害你。”

?? Jon was in no mood for anyone’s counsel.“What do you know about being a bastard?”

瓊恩可沒心情聽人說教：“你又知道身為私生子是什么樣了？”

?? “All dwarfs are bastards in their father’seyes.”

“全天下的侏儒，在他們父親眼里都跟私生子沒兩樣。”

?? “You are your mother’s trueborn son ofLannister.”

“你可是你母親的親生兒子，地地道道的蘭尼斯特。”

?? “Am I?” the dwarf replied, sardonic. “Dotell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he’s never been sure.”

“是么？”侏儒苦笑，“這話你去跟我父親大人說吧。我媽生我的時候難產而死，所以我老爸始終不確定我是不是他親生的。”

?? “I don’t even know who my mother was,” Jonsaid.

“我連我母親是誰都不知道。”瓊恩道。

?? “Some woman, no doubt. Most of them are.” Hefavored Jon with a rueful grin. “Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may bebastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs.” And with that he turned andsauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune. When he opened the door, thelight from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a momentTyrion Lannister stood tall as a king.

“反正是個女人。”他朝瓊恩露出一抹哀傷的笑容，“小子，請記住，雖然全天下的侏儒都可能被視為私生子，私生子卻不見得要被人視為侏儒。”說完，他轉過身，駝著背返回宴會大廳，嘴里還哼起一首愛情小調。當他打開門的剎那，室內的燈光將他的背影清楚地灑在庭院中。就在那一瞬間，提利昂·蘭尼斯特的身影宛如帝王般昂首挺立。