? ? 今天分享的繪本曾榮獲2012年羅爾德·達(dá)爾幽默童書獎(jiǎng)，它源自作者女兒成長(zhǎng)中的真實(shí)片段。作者Rebecca Patterson真實(shí)再現(xiàn)小孩子故意“找茬”、發(fā)脾氣的場(chǎng)景，相信能引起不少家長(zhǎng)的共鳴。
Yesterday I woke up and Bob was crawling around MY ROOM licking MY JEWELRY...
昨天，我一覺醒來，發(fā)現(xiàn)鮑勃正在我的房間里滿地亂爬，起勁地舔著我的首飾。
So I shouted, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!
我大喊：“離開我的房間！”
And that was the start of MY NO, NO, NO DAY.
我的大喊大叫的一天開始了。
Then I came downstairs and I saw THAT EGG.
下樓后，我看到了那個(gè)雞蛋。
I cried and cried and said, I CAN'T EAT THAT!
我不停地哭喊：“我吃不了那玩意兒！”
And Mommy said, "You could eat it last week. Look at Bob eating his mashed banana."
媽媽說：“上禮拜你能吃下啊。看看鮑勃，他還能吃香蕉泥呢。”
After the TERRIBLE EGG I didn't like my shoes either.
吃完“可怕的”雞蛋，我又討厭起自己的鞋來。
So I took them off all by myself, shouting, NO SHOES!
我把它們?nèi)摿讼聛恚蠛爸骸拔也灰┬ ?/p>
And then we had to go shopping and Mommy said, "Please stop wriggling, Bella."
接著，我們得去買東西。媽媽說：“不要扭來扭去了，貝拉。”
But I couldn't stop wriggling and in the end I shouted, GET ME OUT!
可我停不下來，最后大喊道：“讓我出去！”
Mommy said, "You will give Bob an earache. And you are giving me a headache."
媽媽說：“鮑勃的耳朵會(huì)疼的，而你已經(jīng)讓我頭疼了。”
And Bob poked me and said, "ear."
鮑勃捅了我一下說：“耳朵。”
At lunchtime Sasha and her mommy came to play and to have some peanut butter and grapes and a cookie.
午飯時(shí)，薩拉和她媽媽過來玩兒，吃了花生醬、葡萄和一塊餅干。
But...MY COOKIE BROKE!
但是……我的餅干碎了！
Then I couldn't play nicely and I kept saying, NO! YOU CAN'T BE PRINCESSES!
這下我沒法好好玩兒了，還一直沖薩拉說：“不行！你不能當(dāng)公主！”
And in the end Sasha and her mommy went home.
最后，薩拉和她媽媽回了家。
In the afternoon it was my ballet lesson. I said, BALLET IS TOOO ITCHY!
下午是我的芭蕾舞課時(shí)間。我說了句：“跳芭蕾舞太太太癢了！”
But I was very loud, and Mrs.Clark stopped playing the piano and Miss Louisa said, "Dear, oh dear, perhaps you should sit in the corner then."
我的聲音有點(diǎn)兒大，克拉克夫人的鋼琴聲停了下來。路易斯小姐對(duì)我說：“哦，親愛的，也許你應(yīng)該去角落里坐會(huì)兒。”
On the way home we met the lady who lives next door and she said that Bob was the sweetest thing she'd seen all day, and then she said, "And how is Bella?"
回家的路上，我們碰到了鄰居家的阿姨，她說鮑勃是她一整天里見過的最可愛的小寶貝，然后她說：“貝拉怎么樣啊？”
I was a long way behind so I had to shout, I HAVE A HURTING FOOT!
我遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)地落在后面，只好大喊：“我腳疼！”
And mommy said could I keep my voice down and could I PLEASE stop lying on the sidewalk.
媽媽說我能不能小聲點(diǎn)兒，能不能不要躺在人行道上。
Then it was time for my supper and my bath.
接下來是我吃晚飯、洗澡的時(shí)間了。
But those peas were TOO HOT!
可是那些豌豆……太燙了！
And our bath was TOO COLD!
我們的洗澡水太涼了！
And I was TOO WET!
我渾身上下太濕了！
And it was TOO MINTY!
牙膏的薄荷味太濃了！
After that I rolled and rolled and said, NO BED NO NO NO NO BED NO NO!
我在地上滾來滾去，還嚷著：“我不睡覺，不睡，我就不睡覺，就不！”
And Mommy said, "Well, I think someone needs to go to bed."
媽媽說：“好啦，我想有人該上床啦。”
可我在房間里滿地打滾，還滾到了鮑勃的屋里。我說：“小寶寶才睡床呢！”
And then I yawned a little yawn.
然后我打了個(gè)哈欠，一個(gè)小小的哈欠。
Then I crawled into my room, and Mommy said, "Who wants a story?"
我爬回自己的房間，媽媽問：“誰(shuí)想聽個(gè)故事？”
And I said, NOBODY!
我說：“沒人想聽。”
But she came into my room anyway and we cuddled up and had my best story about fairies and cake.
可她還是走進(jìn)了我的房間，我們依偎在一起，媽媽講了我最喜歡的仙女和蛋糕的故事。
I yawned again and I said, very quietly, "TODAY WAS A VERY BAD DAY, MOMMY. SORRY."
我打了個(gè)哈欠……我又打了個(gè)哈欠，輕聲說：“今天是大喊大叫的一天，對(duì)不起，媽媽。”
And she kissed me good night and said, "I know. We all have those days sometimes, but perhaps you will be more cheerful tomorrow!"
她給我一個(gè)晚安吻，說：“我知道，我們都會(huì)碰到這樣的日子，說不定明天你就會(huì)快活起來！”
And...
第二天……
I WAS! I WAS! I was cheerful...
沒錯(cuò)！沒錯(cuò)！我快活了……
ALL DAY LONG!
一整天！
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