Mariam與Laila雖然身分平行，同為一樁不幸婚姻下的受害者，但年長的Mariam將Laila視為自己的孩子般照顧。一次，為了保護Laila被家暴致死，Mariam殺死了自己的老公。事后，Mariam放棄逃跑而決定自首。
對Mariam來說，母親是在成全兒女幸福中，得到幸福的：
For me, it ends here. There's nothing more I want. Everything I'd ever wished for as a little girl you've already given me.You and your children have made me so very happy. It's all right, Laila jo. This is all right. Don't be sad.
對于一個沒當媽的人來說，今天的閱讀內容是太過沖擊了。我懷疑他的合理性。我不樂意將這悲劇性的一幕，視為母職的必然。我不能肯定Mariam為了Laila付出自己，是不是一個必然和必須的抉擇。我傾向解讀Mariam的犧牲，是在那個艱苦特例中，成全她作為母親心愿的唯一渠道。
不過我想起蘇格拉底的例子。當雅典人誣告他敗壞青年時，他其實可以選擇離開雅典，就能免于一死。但最終，他為了捍衛自己作為「教師」的身分，他選擇從容就義。如果教師的身分值得捍衛，母親的身分，是不是也可以有同樣的重要性呢？
或許對一些人來說，當母親的巨大幸福，可以讓一個人為了施行母職而犧牲自己。或許尚待年歲的驗證，我也能發現，當一個媽媽，可能會帶給自己怎樣的收獲。
以下來看看《燦爛千陽》第44-46章摘要。
摘要
Chapter 44 shifts back and forth from the heart-to-heart talk of Laila?and Tariq to the conflicts happened after Rasheed hears Tariq’s visiting,?producing a sense of uneasy nervousness before a storm.
Chapter 45 begins with Rasheeds’ another domestic violence, and?culminates in Mariam killing him. In the mess, Rasheed lunges at Mariam to?punish her for defending against him. At that very moment, Mariam wonders what?she has ever done to deserve this. That defending vigor won’t end in killing?Rasheed, if he does not intend to choke Laila to death. But Mariam realizes?Rasheed has murder in mind, and Mariam, not for self-defensing but as a brave?mother, has no choice but to kill Rasheed with all her might.
Chapter 46 concludes with Mariam’s selfless love. After the killing,?Mariam takes care of Laila who was beaten unconscious. She wakes up Laila,?helps her get her jitters out, encourages her to pull herself together in?cleaning Rasheed’s body and diverts her dread with the picture of their happy?future. Mariam’ mothering ends up with the decision of turning herself in to?prevent Taliban from chasing Laila, kids and Tariq after the murder.
學點英文
1
Chapter 45 begins with Rasheeds’ another domestic violence, and?culminates in Mariam killing him.
culminates in的意思為「以…告終；達到…的頂點」，注意到這個字總是與 in 連用，例如：
My arguments with the boss got worse and worse, and finally culminated?in my resignation.
Their many years of research have finally culminated in a cure for the?disease.
2
In the mess, Rasheed lunges at Mariam to punish her for defending against?him.
defend不加介詞，意為保護后面的受詞，如：
They are fighting to defend their beliefs/interests/rights.
如果加了against，意為對抗后面的受詞，像我要說對抗Rasheed，就是用這個說法，如：
White blood cells help defend the body against infection.
3
That defending vigor won’t end in killing Rasheed, if he does not intend?to choke Laila to death
choke有「（使）窒息；（使）哽噎；（使）呼吸困難」的意思，這個用法下，一般與on連用，例如：
She choked to death on a fish bone. ?她被魚刺鯁住后窒息而死。
此外，誠如這里的用法，可以表達「?（掐住喉嚨）使停止呼吸，使窒息」，這個時候，就像I hate you的用法使用。
4
She diverts her dread with the picture of their happy future
dread代表「恐懼；憂慮」在這本充斥家暴的書中，出現很多次。但我第一次知道，它原來不可數，參考以下例句：
The prospect of working full-time fills me with dread.
I live in dread of bumping into her in the street.
5
Mariam decides to turn herself in.
turn sb in 意為「將（某人）送交警方；自首」
那如果只是turn in，意思就輕松多了，代表「上床睡覺」，例如你要說「我通常午夜左右才上床睡覺」：
I usually turn in at about midnight.
6
Mariam’ mothering ends up with the decision of turning herself in to?prevent Taliban from chasing Laila, kids and Tariq after the murder.
chase有「追逐；追捕」的意思，仔細體會一下英文，用作「追捕」時，不用加介詞：
The police car was going so fast, it must have been chasing someone.
用作「追趕」時，可以選加after：
She was chasing (after) a man who had snatched her bag.
因為這里我要表達塔利班的追捕，所以最后決定不加介詞。
