我厲害吧！

今天談的是resilience，我翻成“復(fù)原力”，也有翻成：堅(jiān)毅力，堅(jiān)韌力...臉書的首席運(yùn)營(yíng)官桑德伯格在她的書《Option B》也提到resilience，那時(shí)她正經(jīng)歷丈夫去世的變故，所以提出了這個(gè)詞。

她說，在遇到傷心事的時(shí)候，可以學(xué)著像同情朋友一樣同情自己，嘗試做到：

1. 對(duì)事不對(duì)人。不要因?yàn)橐患露穸ㄗ约骸Ｖ灰恼e(cuò)誤，避免再犯，就好了。
2. 具體再具體。在錯(cuò)誤中找到閃光點(diǎn)，以此鼓勵(lì)自己，越具體越好。
3. 每天想想自己的小成功。無(wú)論大小，都記下來(lái)，以提高自信。

今天是Leo Babauta來(lái)講這個(gè)resilience。

Developing Extraordinary Resilience

培養(yǎng)非凡的復(fù)原力

By Leo Babauta
（作者）

We’re all beset with difficulties, obstacles, pain, tiredness, and a thousand other setbacks, small and large.
我們都會(huì)經(jīng)歷困難，障礙，痛苦，疲倦，以及一千種其他的挫折，或小或大。

What determines whether we take these setbacks in stride, or let them bring us down, is something that psychologists call “resilience.” It’s an ability to come back from setbacks, adapt, learn, but not be dragged down by these setbacks.
那有什么決定了我們能坦然面對(duì)，還是一蹶不振，心理學(xué)家叫它“復(fù)原力。”這是一種從挫折，適應(yīng)和學(xué)習(xí)中恢復(fù)的能力。

It’s such a powerful thing, resilience … but how do you develop it? Because make no mistake: it’s a set of skills, a set of capacities, that can be developed over time. Some people might be born with greater tendencies toward resiliency, but we can all get better at it.
復(fù)原力，它是如此有力量。但是如何培養(yǎng)呢？毫無(wú)疑問：它是一套技巧，一套能力，能夠通過實(shí)踐習(xí)得。有些人可能生來(lái)有較強(qiáng)的復(fù)原力，但所有人都可以更好地掌握它。

I’m going to offer a set of practices that you can work on, if you want to develop extraordinary resiliency. I hope you find them useful.
如果你想要培養(yǎng)非凡的復(fù)原力，我將要提供一套可操作的練習(xí)。希望你覺得它們是有用的。

The Resiliency Practices
復(fù)原力練習(xí)

Whenever you face stress, difficulty, grief, pain, struggle, setbacks, failure, disappointment, frustration, anger, uncertainty (big ones or little ones, throughout the day) … see it as an opportunity to practice.
無(wú)論何時(shí)，當(dāng)你面對(duì)壓力，困難，悲傷，掙扎，阻礙，失敗，失望，沮喪，憤怒，猶豫（一整天或大或小的）...都把它視作練習(xí)的一次機(jī)會(huì)。

Here are some practices you can try:

1. Notice what you’re not seeing. When you’re frustrated, disappointed, bored, etc. … it’s because you’re only seeing the lack. Or the “bad” side of things. That means you’re blinding yourself to the whole picture — in this moment of someone being rude to you, do you notice that they are in pain, that they have a tender and loving heart inside of them, that they are in fact a gift? Do you notice your own aliveness, the sunlight around you, the wonderful sounds of the day that surround you? In each moment, there are amazing things to notice, and when we’re focused only on the parts we don’t like, we’re stuck in tunnel vision, and therefore missing out on the greatness of life. What is the amazingness you’re not seeing?
   去關(guān)注你沒看到的東西。當(dāng)你沮喪，失望，厭倦時(shí)，你只會(huì)看到不足，或者是壞的方面。你會(huì)無(wú)視整個(gè)局面——此刻某人對(duì)你很粗魯，那你有沒看到他們正處在痛苦之中？有沒看到他們內(nèi)在也有一顆溫柔和關(guān)愛的心？有沒看到他們實(shí)際上是個(gè)禮物？你有沒注意到你自己的生活，周圍的陽(yáng)光，周圍美妙的聲音？在每個(gè)時(shí)刻，都有美好的事物可以發(fā)現(xiàn)，而當(dāng)我們只關(guān)注我們不喜歡的部分時(shí)，就會(huì)被困在狹窄的視野中，因此錯(cuò)過生活的美好。你又錯(cuò)過了哪些？

2. Tap into something bigger than yourself. As a father, it’s amazing what I’ll go through to help my kids. I’ll put myself through incredible discomfort, if it means protecting them, helping them somehow — and it doesn’t even feel like a sacrifice. Anyone who serves others knows this feeling: when you are doing something for others, the discomfort is just an afterthought. So when you’re facing difficulty, if you can connect your task to the something bigger than yourself, serving others and not just yourself … the diffiulty becomes much more insignificant. In this way, every difficulty can be seen as “no big deal.”
   超越自己。作為一個(gè)父親，幫助我的孩子是一件很美好的事。如果我要保護(hù)他們，幫助他們，我自己會(huì)覺得不自在——但是我不認(rèn)為我在犧牲。所有服務(wù)過別人的人都知道這種感受：當(dāng)你正在做一件事時(shí)，不自在是后面會(huì)想到的事。因此，當(dāng)你面對(duì)困難，如果你能跳脫自己，關(guān)注別人而不僅僅關(guān)注自己...眼前的困難會(huì)變得意義重大。這樣原來(lái)，困難都會(huì)變成“沒什么大不了的。”

3. Practice compassion (for yourself & others). When you’re in pain, just notice that. Wish yourself peace and happiness, as you would wish peace from the pain for a loved one. If someone in front of you is angry, irritated … wish them peace from the anger as well. Every difficult interaction is an opportunity to practice this key skill.
   練習(xí)同情（自己或者別人）。當(dāng)你處于痛苦中，要意識(shí)到這點(diǎn)。祝愿自己平靜和快樂，就好像希望你的愛人從痛苦中獲得平靜。如果在你面前的人是生氣的，惱怒的...也祝愿他們從中獲得平靜。每個(gè)困難的互動(dòng)都是練習(xí)這個(gè)關(guān)鍵技巧的機(jī)會(huì)。

4. See it as a part of growth. When you face a setback, it’s not the end of the road … it’s a part of it. No journey worth traveling is free of discomfort and setbacks. If we want to grow, we have to go through challenges. So each challenge you face — instead of thinking negatively about it, see the beauty of it being a part of your personal growth.
   視為成長(zhǎng)的一部分。當(dāng)你面對(duì)一個(gè)挫折，并不是窮途末路。只是某一段路。沒有不自在和挫折的旅途是不值得去踏上的。如果我們想要成長(zhǎng)，我們就必須要經(jīng)歷挑戰(zhàn)。因此你面對(duì)每個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)時(shí)——消除負(fù)面想法，把它視為你個(gè)人成長(zhǎng)中美好的一部分。

5. Practice flexibility & adapting. Rigidity only brings about frustration. If we can learn to be flexible, and adapt to any changing situation, we’ll not only be happier, we’ll be more successful at whatever we’re trying to do. So when you’re in the middle of a challenging situation, ask yourself how you can practice being more flexible. When you’ve been hit with a failure, ask yourself how you can adapt and get better so that you’re more likely to succeed in the next attempt. See it as an opportunity to get better, to become more flexible in your thinking, to be ever-adaptable and never-extinguishable.
   練習(xí)靈活性和適應(yīng)力。固化只會(huì)帶來(lái)沮喪。如果你學(xué)會(huì)去靈活應(yīng)對(duì)，適應(yīng)任何變化的環(huán)境，你不僅會(huì)更加快樂，我們都會(huì)更加成功。因此當(dāng)你正處于挑戰(zhàn)中時(shí)，問自己怎樣能夠練習(xí)得更加靈活機(jī)動(dòng)。當(dāng)你被一個(gè)失敗擊中時(shí)，問自己，你可以如何去適應(yīng)它，以便你在下一次會(huì)更有可能成功。把它視為讓自己變得更好的機(jī)會(huì)，讓思維更加靈活，能夠適應(yīng)一切和永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)消極。

6. Find the deliciousness, delight, joy. Every uncerain situation, every discomfort and difficulty … contains within it some kind of wonder, some kind of deliciousness, some kind of delight and joy. We just need to find it. Open our hearts up to it. Stop trying to reject it, and instead see it for the first time, as a small child might, and see the wonder that is this moment in life.
   發(fā)現(xiàn)美好，高興，快樂。每個(gè)不確定的情形，每個(gè)不自在和困難...都包含了某種奇跡，某種美好，某種快樂和愉悅。我們只需要去發(fā)現(xiàn)它。打開我們的心去迎接它。不要試圖拒絕它，而是在第一時(shí)間看見它，就像一個(gè)小孩那樣，去看見生活中的奇跡。

7. See everything as a teacher. Every single thing that comes before you is your teacher. You can reject the lesson and see it as something you don’t want, or you can open your mind to it and figure out how this situation, this person, this setback, is your teacher. Which of the above lessons is it teaching you? Which of the above practices is it giving you a opportunity to get better at? Figure that out, and you’ve unlocked a chance to get better at resilience.
   把所有的都視為老師。每個(gè)來(lái)到你面前的都是你的老師。你可以拒絕上課并且認(rèn)為它不是你想要的，或者你也可以打開你的心，解決怎么讓這個(gè)狀況，這個(gè)人，這個(gè)挫折成為你的老師。以上的哪個(gè)是在教育你？以上的哪個(gè)練習(xí)可以讓你有機(jī)會(huì)變得更好？解決它，你就是解鎖了一次機(jī)會(huì)，便可擁有更好的復(fù)原力。

In each moment, you have a choice. Do you want to succumb to your difficulties, or wish they would all evaporate … or do you want to be made stronger by them, learn from them, open up to their brilliant lessons and delightful experiences?
在每個(gè)時(shí)刻，你都有選擇。你想要屈服于你的困難，還是希望他們?nèi)肯?.或者你想要通過他們變得更加強(qiáng)大，學(xué)到更多東西，讓自己直面這個(gè)極好的課程和令人愉快的體驗(yàn)？

In each moment, you have the opportunity to practice. It’s not easy. But it’s the path of resilience and love.
在每個(gè)時(shí)刻，你都有機(jī)會(huì)去練習(xí)。這并不容易。但這是通往復(fù)原力和愛的必經(jīng)過程。

總結(jié)：如何練習(xí)“復(fù)原力”

1. 跳脫負(fù)面，關(guān)注美好的事。
2. 超越自己，關(guān)注他人或全局。
3. 練習(xí)同情自己或別人。
4. 看做是成長(zhǎng)的機(jī)會(huì)。
5. 培養(yǎng)靈活性和適應(yīng)力。
6. 相信其中存有奇跡和美好。
7. 把它視為上課時(shí)間。