亂世佳人(飄)——第 38 章(英文原版)- 1

Scarlett saw it all, lived with it by day, took it to bed with her at night, dreading always what might happen next. She knew that she and Frank were already in the Yankees' balck books, because of Tony, and disaster might descend on them at any hour. But, now of all times, she could not afford to be pushed back to her begginnings——not now with a baby coming, the mill just commencing to pay and Tara depending on her for money until the cotton came in the fall. Oh, suppose she should lose everything! Suppose she should have to start all over again with only her puny weapons against this mad world! To have to pit her red lips and green eyes and her shrewd shallow brain against the Yankees and everything the Yankees stood for. Weary with dread, she felt that she could rather kill herself than try to make a new beginning.

commencing:begin, 開始
puny:small and weak
pit:make a hollow(空洞) or indentation(縮進) in the surface of
shrewd:精明

In the ruin and chaos of the spring of 1866, she single mindedly turned her energies to make the mill pay. There was money in Altanta. The wave of rebuilding was giving her the opportunity she wanted and she knew she could make money if only she could stay out of jail. But she told herself time and again, she would have to walk easily, gingerly, be meek under insults, yielding to injustices, never giving offense to anyone, black or white, who might do her harm. She hated the impudent free negroes as much as anyone and her flesh crawled with fury every time she heard their insulting remarks and high-pitched laughter as she went by. But she never even gave them a glance of contempt. She hated the Carpetbaggers and Scallawags who were getting rich with ease while she struggled, but she said nothing in condemnation of them. No one in Atlanta could have loathed the Yankees more than she, for very sight of a blue uniform made her sick with rage, but even in the privacy of her family she kept silent about them.

gingerly:showing great care or caution.
meek:quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on
yielding to: 屈服于他人
impudent:not showing due respect for another person.
crawled:爬
high-pitched:高亢的
condemnation:the expression of very strong disapproval;
loathed: feel intense dislike or disgust for.

I won't be a big-mouthed fool, she thought grimly. Let others break their hearts over the old days and the men who'll never come back. Let others burn with fury over the Yankee rule and losing the ballot. Let others go to jail for speaking their minds and get themselves hanged for being in the Ku Klux Klax. (Oh, what a dreaded name that was, almost as terrifying to Scarlett as to negroes.) Let other women be proud that their husbands belonged. Thank God, Frank had never been mixed up in it! Let others stew and fume and plot and plan about things they could not help. What did past matter compared with the tense present and the dubious future? What did the ballot matter when bread, a roof and staying out of jail were the real problems? And, please God, just let me stay out of trouble until June!

ballot:vote.
stew: 燉
fume: 熏
plot: secretly make plans to carry out.
dubious: hesitating or doubting.

Only till June! By that month Scarlett knew she would be forced to retire into Aunt Pitty's house and remain secluded there until after her child was born. Already people were criticizing her for appearing in public when she was in such a condition. No lady even showed herself when she was pregnant. Already Frank and Pitty were begging her not to expose herself———and them———to embarrassment and she had promised them to stop work in June.

secluded: not seen or visted by many people;
expose: make sth visible

Only till June! By June she must have the mill well enough establised for her to leave it. By June she must have money enough to give her at least some little protection against misfortune. So much to do and so little time to do it! She wished for more hours of the day and counted the minutes, as she strained forward feverishly in her pursuit of money and still more money.

Because she nagged the timid Frank, the store was doing better now and he was even collecting some of the old bills. But it was the sawmill on which her hopes were pinned. Atlanta these days was like a giant plant which had been cut to the ground but now was springing up again with sturdier shoots, thicker foliage, more numerous branches. The demand for building materials was far greater than could be supplied. Prices of lumber, brick and stone soared and Scarlett kept the mill running from dawn untill lantern light.

nagged:嘮叨
pinned: 固定,釘住
sturdier: 堅固的
foliage: 葉子 leaf
latern: 燈籠 lamp

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