I don't know how could I let things get to me so bad.The only thing I can figure out is that, I drove it in a mess.
I had a bad day today, like every yesterday.
I call it life, to make me only alive. As time goes on, I am going far far away from happiness, and the one myself should be. When the darkness has fallen down, I couldn't help to cry my eyes out.

I had a home, as I always have. I keep trying to maintain it like a home, but I fail and fail again and again. I wanna be the best me I wanna be. I want my family to see me as a family.

我不知道為什么這樣，身邊的以前總是會一團糟，無論在哪里。我惟一知道的事情是，這都是因我而造成的。
又過了糟糕的一天，像以往糟糕的每一天。
我把這叫做生活，我狗眼殘喘著。隨著時間的推移，一天天地遠離幸福，也遠離我自己。當夜幕降臨，我總是忍不住想流下眼淚。

我在的地方我都會當成家，我努力去維護它，像是一個家一樣，卻總是不斷的失敗、再失敗。我想把我該做的事情做好，我想讓每一個成員把我融入家庭。

I devote nothing but sorrow, to ones I care. Even there must be something I can do, I don't know what. Within social society, without social skills, totally. Left home, I have got barely nothing, and I worth nothing. That's why no one cares about, what I am feeling about.
I don't talk around, and what I talk about attracts no one.
I don't pretend, I don't wanna disguise. The truth is that the true one make no sense, for everyone around.
I do wanna show around, no show off, to let all know how the bad things indeed better.
I do wanna come about, not come apart, to let all see when good news finally realize.

在我所處的大家庭，我并沒有對我所在乎的你們作出太大的貢獻。雖然我也知道，有些時候有些事情我應該去做，有些事情我不該去做，但我甚至不知道。雖 然身處在這個社交社會里，其實我這么多年卻最沒有掌握的就是社交能力。把我擱置在家庭之外，我所擁有的全部只是零，我甚至沒有任何價值。我想這就是為什么 沒有什么人在意我的想法，我的感受。
我不會唧唧哇哇，而且我說的話并沒有什么吸引力。
我不會做作，我不想偽裝自己。但其實，真實的我也并不是招人喜歡，往往對身邊的人沒有意義。
我想要表達我自己，不是炫耀的那種，讓身邊的所有人知道其實這糟糕的生活并不是那么糟。
我想要做一些事情，不是把事情搞砸，讓身邊的所有人看到最終實現(xiàn)的好的消息。

I wanna be in, as one of the family.
I could show my best, to each in the family.
I wish the day come earlier.

我很想讓自己成為家庭的一份子。
我想把我最好的一面展現(xiàn)給家里的每一份子。
我希望，我能盡快實現(xiàn)這個愿望。

2012.7.31