對愛情的渴望,對知識的追求,對人類苦難不可遏制的同情心,這三種純潔而無比強烈的激情支配著我的一生。這三種激情,就像颶風一樣,在深深的苦海上,肆意地把我吹來吹去,吹到瀕臨絕望的邊緣。
我尋求愛情,首先因為愛情給我帶來狂喜,它如此強烈以致我經常愿意為了幾小時的歡愉而犧牲生命中的其他一切。我尋求愛情,其次是因為愛情可以解除孤寂一—那是一顆震顫的心,在世界的邊緣,俯瞰那冰冷死寂、深不可測的深淵。我尋求愛情,最后是因為在愛情的結合中,我看到圣徒和詩人們所想像的天堂景象的神秘縮影。這就是我所尋求的,雖然它對人生似乎過于美好,然而最終我還是得到了它。
我以同樣的熱情尋求知識,我渴望了解人的心靈。我渴望知道星星為什么閃閃發光,我試圖理解畢達哥拉斯的思想威力,即數字支配著萬物流轉。這方面我獲得一些成就,然而并不多。
愛情和知識,盡其可能地把我引上天堂,但是同情心總把我帶回塵世。痛苦的呼喚經常在我心中回蕩,饑餓的兒童,被壓迫被折磨者,被兒女視為負擔的無助的老人以及充滿孤寂、貧窮和痛苦的整個世界,都是對人類應有生活的嘲諷。我渴望減輕這些不幸,但是我無能為力,而且我自己也深受其害。
這就是我的一生,我覺得值得為它活著。如果有機會的話,我還樂意再活一次。
《What I Have Lived For》? by Bertrand Russell
Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.
I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.
Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.
This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.