Chapter 5

第五章

"Please have a seat," he said.

“請坐。”他說。

Tracy was glad to sit down. Her knees were weak. He was going to tell her now about Charles, and how soon she would be released.

特蕾西很高興能坐下。她的雙膝已經難以支撐了。他就要跟她談到查爾斯，以及她何時獲釋的問題。

"I've been looking over your record," the warden began.

“我一直在研究你的檔案，”監獄長開始說。

Charles would have asked him to do that.

查爾斯當然會要求他這樣做的。

"I see you're going to be with us a long time. Your sentence is fifteen years."

“我知道你要和我們一起呆很久。你的刑期是十五年。”

It took a moment for his words to sink in. Something was dreadfully wrong. "Didn't--- didn't you speak to--- to Charles?" In her nervousness she was stammering.

過了一會兒，她才明白他的話。又是一次可怕的誤會。“您沒——沒跟——跟查爾斯談過嗎？”她緊張得結巴起來。

He looked at her blankly. "Charles?"

他莫名其妙地望著她：“查爾斯？”

And she knew. Her stomach turned to water. "Please," she said. "Please listen to me. I'm innocent. I don't belong here."

她明白了。她的心一下涼了：“請您，”她說，“請您聽我說。我是冤枉的，我不該呆在這里。”

How many times had he heard that? A hundred? A thousand? I'm innocent.

這種話他聽過多少次了？一百次？一千次？“我是冤枉的。”

He said, "The courts have found you guilty. The best advice I can give you is to try to do easy time. Once you accept the terms of your imprisonment, it will be a lot easier for you. There are no clocks in prison, only calendars."

他說：“法庭已認定你有罪。我能給你的最好的忠告就是隨遇而安。你一旦認可了你的刑期，你就會感到好過多了，監獄里沒有時鐘，只有日歷。”

I can't be locked up here for fifteen years, Tracy thought in despair. I want to die. Please, God, let me die. But I can't die, can I? I would be killing my baby. It's your baby, too, Charles. Why aren't you here helping me? That was the moment she began to hate him.

我不能在這里被關上十五年，特蕾西絕望地想，我想死。求求你，上帝，讓我去死吧。不，我不能死，我怎么能死呢？我會殺死我的孩子的。查爾斯，他也是你的孩子。你為什么不來救我呢？這時，她開始恨他了。

"If you have any special problems,", Warden Brannigan said, "I mean, if I can help you in any way, I want you to come see me." Even as he spoke, he knew how hollow his words were. She was young and beautiful and fresh. The bull-dykes in the prison would fall on her like animals. There was not even a safe cell to which he could assign her. Nearly every cell was controlled by a stud. Warden Brannigan had heard rumors of rapes in the showers, in the toilets, and in the corridors at night. But they were only rumors, because the victims were always silent afterward. Or dead.

“你如果有什么特別的問題，”布蘭里根監獄長說，“我的意思是，如果我能幫你什么忙，希望你能來找我。”甚至就在他說這些話時，他就意識到他的話是多么空洞。她年輕、漂亮、沒有閱歷。獄中搞同性戀的女犯人會象野獸一樣撲到她身上。他甚至想不出有哪間安全的牢房能安排給她。幾乎所有的牢房都被一名同性戀控制著。布蘭里根監獄長聽說過在洗澡間、廁所以及深夜在走廊里發生的強xx事件。但那只是傳說，因為受害者事后都不吭聲，否則便沒命了。

Warden Brannigan said gently, "With good behavior, you might be released in twelve or---"

布蘭里根監獄長和藹地說：“如果表現好的話，你可以在十二年或短的時間內獲得釋放。”