一群外國婚禮攝影老司機,竟然可以通過婚禮的這些小細節,判斷新人的婚姻能否長久?!!

最近,Reddit上的一篇帖子引起了英國《每日郵報》的注意:

Wedding photographers of Reddit: can you tell if a couple is going to last or not? If so, how?

Reddit上的婚禮攝影師們,你可以判斷一對夫妻將來是和還是離嗎?如果可以,怎么判斷?

沒想到這個帖子炸出來了一堆的老司機,

大部分的回答都是:yes!

小編為大家整理出了這些你不知道的十一個小細節:

1.?眼神

沒錯,俗話說”眼睛是心靈的窗戶“。判斷一對夫妻是否相信、深愛對方,看眼神就知道啦。

I have an album of photos of my now ex-husband glaring at me. It'd be difficult for the photographer to have not noticed.

我的前夫在照片里都是瞪著我的。我想攝影師不難發現吧。

Not a professional photo, but at my parents' wedding, I think you can already see my mother beginning to have doubts.

我不是專業的攝影師,不過在我父母的婚禮上,我想你們都可以看出來我媽媽瞪著那雙充滿懷疑的大眼睛。

對面相頗感興趣的小編對這點舉雙手贊成,其實相面最直接的辦法就是看眼神吶,一個人各種性格和想法啊都透過眼神展現無遺······

2.?切蛋糕的姿勢

看到這兒小編真的驚呆了,切蛋糕的姿勢不對竟然也預示著離婚?!

This is going to sound totally cheesy but I feel even more strongly about this: what happens during the cake cutting. Sweetly feeding one another? Good sign. A playful smear of icing on the nose? No problem.

這個聽起來很幼稚,不過我真的很相信這點:切蛋糕時夫妻雙方的表現預示著婚姻的好壞。如果他們很甜蜜地喂對方蛋糕,以后婚姻沒問題。開玩笑地往對方鼻子上抹蛋糕,完了。

還好,中國的婚禮儀式上沒有切蛋糕這個部分,嘿嘿!

3.?拍照時的反應

I was told by our photographer - "If the man looks for the woman on how to position themselves rather than the person taking the pictures, there's going to be a shitstorm"

一個攝影師曾經告訴我:“如果男的在照相時更在乎他們拍照的姿勢,而不是他和誰照相,暴風雨就要來啦······”

I had my friend whose been a wedding photographer for ten years with me to show me the ropes after doing a lot of second shooting with him.

我的一個朋友有十年的婚禮拍攝經驗,他告訴我可以從哪些細節去判斷。

So he poses a kissing shot of the couple, and when he asks them to kiss the bride goes "oh, no, no thank you" in this weird little mousey voice.

有次他想拍新人互相接吻的照片,當他叫他們親吻對方時,新娘突然吱吱嗚嗚地說:”不要這樣,謝謝。“

He has shot over a 100 weddings and said he never saw a couple so not into each other as much as they were.

他已經拍攝過上百場的婚禮了,這是他第一次遇到這樣的情況。

4.?婚禮的致辭

What people who give speeches (maid of honor, best man, father of the bride) say about the person their friend/relative is marrying is a huge giveaway. Do they feel like this person enriches their new spouse's life? Do they see them as an extension of their family or as a close friend? Or are they simply "happy for them"?

給婚禮致辭的人(伴娘,伴郎或者新娘父親)對新人說的話包含了大量的信息。他們是否認為新成員讓對方的生活更加圓滿?他們是否把新成員當成家人或好友?或者他們真的為新人感到高興?

I've heard some truly heartfelt, touching words shared during toasts... and have heard others that were seriously underwhelming. If it isn't easy for you to think of why this person is a good match for your friend, that's a bad sign.

我在他們互相敬酒時聽到過太多發自肺腑,感人至深的話語。如果你不確定這個人是否和你的朋友相配,這就是一個危險的信號。

In the Bride and Groom speeches, if they don't mention the other person, it's probably not a good sign. It reminds of when a director wins best picture and doesn't acknowledge the lead actor or vice versa.

如果一對新人在發表結婚感言時沒有提到其他的人,這也不是一個好信號。就像導演獲獎時沒有提到主角和配角。

Not a photographer (nor do I play one on TV) but I've been to a bunch of weddings. One that gave off alarm bells was a female friend's wedding - and when the best man (groom's brother) gave the speech, he didn't mention the bride ONCE. WTF. It wasn't off the cuff remarks and he forgot, it was a prepared, moderately long speech. No shocker here: divorced in 2 years...

我不是攝影師,但是我參加過很多次婚禮。這個事情給我敲響了警鐘,在一個朋友的婚禮上,當伴郎致辭時,他完全沒有提到新娘。天哪。他不是因為即興講話而忘了,他提前就準備好了一段長短適宜的演講。所以后來我一點也不吃驚:朋友已經離婚兩年了。

5.?親朋好友的反應

the differences we see in the families' and friends' behavior at a wedding - the bridesmaids talking, the groomsmen interacting, the parents' glances and body language, the frigging toasts - all are very telling about how much they think this is a good idea and how much community support there is around a couple.

親朋好友在婚禮上的各種反應很能說明問題。雙方父母無意中的一瞥,肢體語言,祝酒詞,都能說明他們愿意給新人多大的支持。

Wedding photographer here, I probably have done more than a 150 wedding so far and most of the time yes I can tell if a couple is going to last or not. You can tell by the kind of people they are and by whom they are surrounded.

I admit, I tear up a bit during a great ceremony when the vows are real ( meaning personalised ) and filled with love. Then there those couples where they're constantly nagging at each other about stupid things, not to forget the groom hitting on the photographer (I'm a female photographer).

婚禮攝像師在此,我目前已經拍過150場婚禮了。很多時候我都可以判斷一對新人以后是好是壞。你可以根據他們周圍的人來判斷。

我承認,有場婚禮的結婚誓詞非常的真摯,包含著濃濃的愛意,我都感動得哭了。但是很多人不停地嘮叨一些傻事,一直揪著新郎打攝影師的事不放(我是一名女攝影師)。

6.?新人認識時間太短

I've been shooting weddings for 4 years, at a rate of 12-15 a year. I've only known of one to be divorced, and in hindsight, their divorce doesn't surprise me. They only dated for a few months before they got engaged and got married even before their 1 year anniversary.

我拍婚禮四年了,每年平均12~15場。其中我知道的有一對離婚了,但是我一點也不覺得奇怪。他們只交往了幾個月,訂婚時都還不滿一年。

7.?對婚禮和婚姻的想法

Many couples, particularly young couples, pretty clearly have in mind a wedding but have put little thought and planning into a marriage.

許多夫妻,特別是很多年輕的夫婦,對于婚禮有很清晰的想法,但是對于婚姻卻沒有什么規劃。

A few things I have also noticed is some brides are almost more in love with the idea of a wedding rather then the person they are marrying. I shot one wedding where the girl had 4 different dresses for the entire day, elaborate jewelry and everything was over the top, but this was no interaction between the bride and groom at this wedding.

我注意到,有的新娘更關注婚禮而不是她要嫁的那個人。我記得有場婚禮,新娘一天就準備了四套不同的服裝,首飾非常精致,一切都很完美,但是新郎和新娘在婚禮上卻沒有任何互動。

Not a photographer, but hairstylist. One wedding I did I could tell it wasn't going to last. She was young, couldn't even drink yet, he was at least ten years older. They were getting married because her family was very religious and I got the impression that they chose him and thought she should marry him more than she wanted to marry him, she liked the idea of a wedding (and moving out of her parents place) more than she was in love. A year later it was over but she was so much better off. She'd grown so much and had moved out on her own and had become a grown up. I was really happy for her.

我不是婚禮攝影師,而是發型師。有一場婚禮我可以確定那對新人不會長久。新娘很年輕,甚至不能喝酒,新郎則比她大10歲。但是他們最后結婚了,因為新娘的家人很傳統,他們認為她應該嫁給她而不考慮她想不想嫁給他。而新娘呢,她對婚禮本身更感興趣。一年以后, 他們離婚了,但是她解脫了。她成熟了很多,自己離開了那兒。我真心為她感到高興。

8.?新人婚禮分頭行動

I've taken my share of wedding pictures. When the bride and groom spend the whole reception apart, or you can't tear the groom out of the bar, or away from whatever sports game is on, it generally does not work out well.

我來分享一下我的拍攝經歷吧。如果新娘和新郎在接待時一直都是分開的,或者你一直都不能把新郎從酒吧、各種游戲中拉出來,結果通常都不會好。

9.?自私急躁新娘VS懶惰不成熟新郎

If I had to pick a trend, it would be really self centered brides (or quick tempered ones) or lazy/immature grooms. Really bad combination if both of them are that way.

我發現有這樣一個規律,如果新娘很自私(或者很急躁)或者新郎很懶,不成熟。這樣的組合絕對不會有一個好結果。

10.?新娘強勢、專橫、喜歡指手畫腳,輕視對方

I've worked for a portrait photographer in Myrtle Beach for the past eight years. The biggest sign for me is how bossy the bride is to the groom. If she's totally running the show to the point where he is getting a little annoyed, that's a huge sign.

我在美爾特沙灘拍照八年了。對于我來說,最大的危險信號就是新娘太愛指手畫腳了。如果程度過了,新郎開始有點厭煩,那就是一個巨大的信號。

Not a wedding photographer, but I planned events (mostly weddings) for several years. The number one I would say is contempt. If either of the couple has contempt for the other (not respecting their opinion, minimizing their thoughts, puts down their partner, etc) I guarantee the couple will divorce.

我不是婚禮攝影師,但是我策劃婚禮很多年了。我想說的是輕視、蔑視對方。如果新人中的一方輕視對方(比如不尊重對方的觀點,極力壓縮對方的想法,壓制、貶低對方),我就可以靜靜地看他們離婚。

下面小編要介紹的最后一個小細節

有點讓人不知所措,

甚至細思極恐!

11.?婚禮攝影師自帶加持或破壞,甚至毀滅屬性

有的婚禮攝影師自帶光環,只要facebook和他關注的夫妻,至今都幸福美滿,比如下面這位:

Wedding photog here. I often become Facebook friends with some of the clients, but not always. None have gotten divorced that I'm friends with. But the large percentage that I'm not friends with I have no idea about

婚禮攝影師在此。我經常和一些客戶在facebook上互相關注,成為好友。只要和我關注了的都沒有離婚。至于那些沒關注的我就不確定了。

而有的攝影師就自帶破壞屬性

My dad did wedding photography as a side project, and of the 27 couples he did over the course of 4 years, at least 20 have divorced.

tl;dr: Don't hire my dad unless you know a good divorce lawyer.

我爸把婚禮拍攝作為副業,在他過去四年里拍攝的27對新人中,至少有20個都離婚了。

溫馨提示:千萬別找我爸拍婚禮,除非你知道一個很厲害的打離婚官司的律師。

I did weddings for several years after I graduated from college in the 70's. Of all the weddings I remember photographing none of them are still together today. One of them lasted 30 years, declared their marriage a success, divorced, and both went on to try it again with other people.

70年代畢業后,我就一直在做婚禮攝影。我拍攝過的夫妻現在都離了。其中一對的婚姻維持了30年,他們聲稱他們的婚姻是成功的,結果最后還是離了,然后又開始尋找另一半。

不過最恐怖的當屬下面這位,別人拍照是要錢,他拍照是要錢又要命

My dad has a problem a bit like this but worse. He is a video producer, and he usually makes report videos for city halls and mayors. So far, 4 of the mayors he has worked with have died in car crashes or other kind of accidents. So that's that.

我爸爸的情況更糟。他為市政大廳和市長做過很多報道視頻。其中四個他工作的市長要么死于車禍,要么就死于其他事故。。。

其實,這些攝影老司機有如此強大的第六感一點也不奇怪,正如其中一個老司機所說:

We spend 8, 10, 12 or more hours in a day looking at the bride and groom through a frame that isolates them alone and together, largely stripping away the broader context and focusing on their interactions. We are looking specifically for moments of contact, of intimacy, of emotional connection. It pretty quickly becomes evident when those things are there, and when they are not.

我們一天花8,10,12甚至更長的時間從鏡頭里注視著新娘和新郎,這樣就更能注意到他們之間的反應,特別是他們之間的舉動。這些很快就成了判斷的線索。

其實,這些小細節所反應的是

夫妻雙方對婚姻是否有成熟的想法,

是否尊重對方,

是否相信對方,

是否真正關心對方,

當然,也看命運的安排,

如果遇到了一個

自帶婚姻拆離屬性的攝影師,

那就只能說:

一切都是命呀!

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