在今夜
/
在今夜我們遭遇這首歌
在今夜我們讀出這首迷戀痛苦的歌
在今夜我們默默磨亮這首生銹的歌
在今夜我們唱這首歌，從頭開始
我們完全不知道有這樣一首歌
我們起床時附近的機房響著馬達的聲音
我們在替前程擔擾，它像垃圾堆里的鉆石
我們突然扯開嗓子一直唱個不停
其實我們需要收拾所有的行李
其實我們已經(jīng)動身，但雙眸綴滿音符
其實我們不懂怎么回事，我們正交換鑰匙
其實我們無處可去又認為天下的門一打就開
是誰注意到我們了抱著這樣大的熱情
是因為我們已經(jīng)醒悟，理所當然世界也變了模樣？
是我們的愚飩反而得到幸運之神的厚待
是這樣的話我們實在愚不可及
在今夜這首歌被有意放棄
在今夜這首歌被篡改，如同戀人中途變掛
在今夜這首歌縫紉機似地縫死我們的睡袋
在今夜什么事也沒有到來
2017/7/14
TONIGHT
? ? ? ? ? by Lu Kang
We encounter this song tonight
We read out this song indulging pain tonight
We burnish the rusty song silently tonight
We sing this song starting from beginning tonight
We were insensible of such a song
When getting up, the engine room nearby was wailing motor sound
We were worried about future, it was like a diamond in a garbage dump
We suddenly bursted and kept singing
In fact we must pack the luggage
In fact we have set off, eyes filled with notes
In fact we didn't understand but we were exchanging keys
In fact we had nowhere to go but thought every door in the world could be opened
Who have noticed us of great enthusiasm
Is it because we have awakened, the world has changed as a consequence?
Is it our obtuseness rewarded with Good Luck
If so we were hopelessly obtuse
This song was given up intentionally tonight
This song was altered tonight like lover changing her mind
This song sewed our sleeping bag tonight like a sewing machine
There was nothing happening tonight
(Tr. by J. Lohmar，翻譯：莫笑愚)
老宋（人在北極)：1，詩題為《在今夜》，翻譯時可能為了押韻，把＂今夜＂放在句尾，我覺得直接在句首更合適原詩感。 2，第二句，indulging引導的句子，讓人感覺是歌曲，英語中的引導句我覺得不合中文的，因為歌曲不會痛苦，而是人才會。3，后面的類似動名詞引導句都有同樣問題。比如，“從頭開始"，beginning，when getting up.....主語表達都應該是人，而非歌曲或者機器。4，insensible也值得商榷，那是表達感覺，不太像表達認知，我認為不是沒感覺那首歌。notes雖然有音符的意思，但應該有連貫句的表達。否則不太直接。5，段落在英文時態(tài)表達也覺得交叉變化與中文的表達感有出入。第三段落感覺更合適是現(xiàn)在時態(tài)。因為是一種狀態(tài)的表達。who的后面動詞更適合用單數(shù)，因為那更符合習慣。即使中文表達可能帶有復數(shù)。6，第四段我覺得可以重新翻譯，或許更能有感覺。最后一段中的“戀人"應該不是單指女性，可以是復數(shù)的表達，而且應該表達中途變卦的意味。7，“像縫紉機似的”的翻譯，在英文中置于句尾不很適合，容易產(chǎn)生歧義，在倒回中文時意思變化較遠。8 ，最后一句的表達沒有中文想說的“無事到來”的進程感，只表達了無事發(fā)生。而且，似乎happening也應該是happened才符合英語在這種句子中的習慣表達。【以上拙見只是個人感覺，僅供參考。】
Vanilla Park
? ? ——to B.M.
/
The fragrance made him linger on. But the fast-corrupting day-watch
kept urging the frame of him standing on the balcony, so anxiously.
His eyes moved away to a dignified tree in front, whose top was too tall to see
But he remained silent as if anomic aphasia had caught him. The second floor was too closed to the ground
He was 4.2 kilometers away from the flat ground, which was destined to collapse the day after tomorrow;Tuesday is the day for a big jam
The non-material woman would have the prerogative to name any vanilla
She sat there on the threshold-- pulling a long face, then flounced out of my sight
Ode to Anti-headstand
/
I waited for the last dragonfly
The only one who carried a piece of self-destructive device on him
I hold my breath, wondering if any other ritual
to let him off easily
Instead of allowing him to do a headstand on a lotus leaf
For all my successors on this skill
Ended up wrist-deep in trouble
Ode to Pleasure-seeking
/
If we were a group of dragonflies
That would be our estrus,with my sisters and I
Indulge in all skills to seek physical pleasure, each way deadly intoxicating
Especially the headstand, frivolous and ostentatiously fascinating
But much more often
There were only three or five dragonflies swiftly fly by
Those naughty kids who chased them
Cut me in half and put me on their heads as a sunshade
So we went our separateways, as predestined
Once I’ve dreamed
When I wear away slowly
A gutty dragonfly slipping through the net
Standing on its head inthe wet water strain
Ripples of rapture just went through my whole body
(Translated by Peter Song)
附原文：
芷園·致B.M.
/
聞香止步。但速朽的值日官
依然火燒火燎地催促陽臺上的人
他的視線已經(jīng)移到門前高不見頂?shù)囊恢觑L雅的樹
苦惱于叫不出樹名。二樓離地面太近
他離塌方的后天一段平地約4.2公里：周二也塞車
不要錢的女人可任享一種香草命名權(quán)
她坐在門口臭臉一張——一張臭臉，轉(zhuǎn)身走開
反倒立之歌
/
我等待最后一只蜻蜓
只有它身上帶著自毀式的裝置
我屏息靜氣，暗問還有沒有別的儀式
能讓它順利通過
不是倒立在荷葉上
因為我之后再這么做的兄弟
可就耽誤了大事
尋歡之歌
/
如果是一群蜻蜓
那就是旺季，我和我的姐姐妹妹
無技不歡，招招爽死
尤其是倒立，輕佻和炫技似地令人著迷
可是更多的時候
都是三只五只，倉皇飛過
那些捕捉它們的頑童
還把我剪斷頂著遮陽
于是我們便命各東西
而我曾經(jīng)幻想過
在我漸漸枯萎的過程
還有漏網(wǎng)又膽肥的蜻蜓
求死一樣倒立在尚余水漬的部位
我彷佛通體蕩漾著戰(zhàn)栗
（譯者：彼得[加拿大]，譯校：殷女士）
