To-do list: how to become a mother respected by children

Traditionally the role of mother is more focusing on “service provider of children”, while often it is ignored that mother herself should be an independent individual first.

The quality parent-kid relationship, must be the relationship between two independent, outstanding people.

1. Please don’t think "I gave birth to a baby", however should think "I met up with someone".

2. In the real life, one day you will not be relied and abandoned by your children sooner or later. Please get ready for the day, maybe much earlier than you think. However children perhaps are willing to connect with you emotionally if you work hard.? The key is: control. The intervention has to be controlled.

3. Raising a child actually is not a big deal. There is no problem for children to have simple life, but this situation turns extreme complex when parent think too much.

4. Stand in awe of the children’s minds. It is a huge rich ore. Whatever the ways take to activate, will turn to the respective outcome.? No childish books, no baby language, please do share with them the most wisdom in our human culture with the normal way.

5. Become their learning partner.? My principles are: I will learn the same thing as my child, simultaneously. Do take note that you have the same "working years" as a mum is equivalent to his working years as child.? Therefore, we are partner, more than the mom-child relationship.

6. It is vital important for the child to learn the ability of appreciate beauty. They will appreciate in any situations.

7. Let your child listen to your conversations with friends.

8. Cultivate the child confidence. Two effective ways: one is to participate the high quality social networking with your child to explore an "eye-opening" journey; another one is to develop an accumulative, stackable interests to shape the confidence with persistence and self-discipline.

9. For whatever reasons, the next generation will excel us.

10. Set a high standard, cultivate your child’s targets setting and execution.

11. What you are, is 1000 times more important than telling them what they are going to be.

關(guān)于成為受孩子尊敬的母親的清單 ?原創(chuàng) 2017-05-14 「得到」

傳統(tǒng)習(xí)俗對(duì)母親的角色定義中，過(guò)于強(qiáng)調(diào)“孩子的服務(wù)者”這部分，卻常常忽略母親本身首先應(yīng)該是一個(gè)獨(dú)立個(gè)體。

優(yōu)質(zhì)的親子關(guān)系，應(yīng)該是兩個(gè)獨(dú)立而優(yōu)秀的人之間的關(guān)系

1. 不能以“我生了一個(gè)孩子”的心態(tài)來(lái)生孩子，而是當(dāng)“我遇見(jiàn)一個(gè)人”。

2. 在生活上，孩子遲早有一天根本不需要你，甚至想要甩開(kāi)你。這一天會(huì)比你計(jì)劃的要早得多，早做心理準(zhǔn)備。但是通過(guò)努力，也許孩子愿意在精神世界始終與你保持紐帶。努力的要訣是：克制，克制對(duì)他的干預(yù)。

3. 養(yǎng)育孩子一點(diǎn)都不復(fù)雜。孩子可以過(guò)非常簡(jiǎn)單的生活，是父母的妄念把這件事變得復(fù)雜無(wú)比。

4. 對(duì)孩子的頭腦要懷有敬畏。那是一個(gè)巨大的富礦，用什么樣的方式激活，就呈現(xiàn)什么狀態(tài)。不要給孩子看那些幼稚化的圖書(shū)，不要用“兒童語(yǔ)”和他們說(shuō)話(huà)，用正常、尊重智商的方式，和他們分享人類(lèi)文明中最優(yōu)質(zhì)的成果。

5. 成為孩子的學(xué)習(xí)伙伴。我給自己定的原則是：讓孩子去學(xué)什么，我就要同步學(xué)什么。你當(dāng)母親的“工齡”和他當(dāng)孩子的“工齡”是一樣的，所以，我們是搭檔，勝過(guò)我們是母親和孩子的關(guān)系。

6. 讓孩子建立第一流的審美能力，比什么都重要。認(rèn)識(shí)美和體察美的人，無(wú)論在任何處境中都不會(huì)太難過(guò)。

7. 讓孩子旁聽(tīng)你和你的朋友們的談話(huà)。

8. 培養(yǎng)孩子的自信，目前看有效的方式是兩種：一是帶孩子參加成年人的高品質(zhì)社交活動(dòng)，讓孩子在智力層面“開(kāi)眼界”；二是培養(yǎng)孩子發(fā)展可積累、可迭代的興趣或特長(zhǎng)，在堅(jiān)持和自律中養(yǎng)成自信。

9. 無(wú)論如何，下一代人一定會(huì)比我們更優(yōu)秀。

10. 樹(shù)立高標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，培養(yǎng)孩子的目標(biāo)感和行動(dòng)力。

11.? 你是什么樣的人，比你告訴孩子他要成為什么樣的人，重要一千倍。

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