一生行走在畫畫的路上

文/顏克

之前，朋友在空間里看到我上傳的畫關于電線桿的速寫，評論說：“怎么拍的？古典，黑白，純靜！”我說是畫的，他說：“都以為是拍的，原來是親手畫的，不錯啊！一定要贊！！”想要我拿給他看看。

今天見到，就帶了速寫本給他看。末了，他說：“畫如其人，在空間里只看到了四幅，看完就想了很多，知道是你畫的，仿佛從畫面中能體會到你的心情。今天看到速寫本里這么多，仿佛看到了你在菲律賓的思想歷程”。接著，朋友又謙虛地說：“我不懂繪畫啊，只是瞎說。”我說：“真正的藝術不是給專家看的，它就是生活中平常的再平常不過的事情，就像我畫的這些電線桿，他們是真實的在那里，在碧瑤的大街小巷，在一年又一年的歷史中，我的畫筆只是一個記錄，或者我的筆下有一點我的思想在里面。”他說：“第一遍是倒著看的，第二遍又從頭看的，從你的第一幅畫到最后，感覺到了你內心的糾結和掙扎，看到了你畫面里的不同，你的掙扎可能不只是這看似紛亂而又有序的電線，是電線以外的事情，或許是工作、生活、情感······我說不好，因為只是直觀印象，并沒有對你做更多的了解。從構圖，到表現方式，又加入了中國元素，這是菲律賓沒有的東西。”我說：“是啊，之前我一直在畫碧瑤的風景，色彩斑斕的建筑，狹窄的小巷，半山腰的別墅，小木屋，鐵皮房，像是童話一樣在山坡的彩色房子……突然有一天，我對街道里的電線桿有了興趣，就開始畫了。畫多了，筆下可能不僅僅是電線桿了，而是我三十多年生活的縮影。”朋友說：“從畫里面可以看得出來，你當時的心境和內心所要表達的情感。”我說：“也許最開始畫電線桿的那個時段，我郁悶，無助，彷徨，為著莫須有的罪名傷害自己。把自己關在一個無形的牢籠，頹廢而又荒蕪的消磨時光，或是睡得分不清夢境和現實。很多時候，只有畫畫時安靜美好，仿佛周圍匆忙的人群和我無關，狂風暴雨和我無關，生死都與我無關，而我畫畫，必須要遵從寫生，我要看著我的景物，找到興奮點，選一個構圖像是遇見一個一見鐘情一樣，然后一筆一筆畫下去，我能看到我畫的對象有了靈魂，和我交流對話。為此，工作之余，我行走在碧瑤的大街小巷，感受這里的風土人情，用我的筆，認真的記錄眼睛看到的，肌膚感受到的，碧瑤的風，云，雨，露，霧，碧瑤的山水，樹木，房屋，落日，朝陽，用腳步丈量出畫布的距離，或是沿著地圖去行走。同事不理解我的辛苦，說你可以相機拍照，呆在屋子里畫畫多好，一個女孩子，背著大包出去又累又危險。這樣的話語我無力反駁，這就像你無比想念你愛人，你愿意只看著他的照片嗎？我說：“對著照片畫是好，我的畫是我的情人，與我聊天，低語，與我擁抱，纏綿，只有在寫生的時候，才能找到這樣的感覺，對著電腦屏幕，就像看著遠方愛人的照片，只有發呆。格雷戈里·考伯爾說過：‘如果有什么意外發生讓我丟了性命，那不是個悲劇，因為我在做我熱愛的事。睡覺前想到，明天還會做愛的事，那是一種恩賜。’”是的，同事或許真的是擔心我的安危，他甚至說，你忘情畫畫的時候會不會有人從背后襲擊你？天哪！我從來沒有想過這樣的事情，我畫的是美好，我寫的是美好，我所做的事情，也是美好，我相信這個世界的美好，所以我說，像格雷戈里·考伯爾說過的那樣，如果我是在畫畫的時候死的，那將是一生最幸福的事，死而無憾。

現在，很多畫家已經不遵從寫生了，或許是這個高科技發達的今天，你想要什么樣的效果數碼一拍，后期一做，再用畫筆簡單復制，太容易了，高產又省力，何必要寫生呢？或許一天，一個月，風吹日曬雨淋的。我常常肩膀夾著傘一手拿速寫本一手拿畫筆，可能畫好一幅速寫要三個小時或許更多，下來渾身僵硬，但看到遵從自己內心的筆觸，對眼前景象的描繪，生命就充滿了力量。還記得大學時候，最難忘的回憶就是一年有半個月去山里寫生，背著畫板，帶著干糧，在太行山畫畫，一畫一天，那個時候，純粹的，只有山水之間和與山水融合在一起的年輕的我們。每一幅寫生，或許不夠好，不成熟，但就像是自己的孩子，怎么樣都是好的，像你，不像別人，不是膠片或是數碼記錄的，不是每個人幾乎都一樣的風景拷貝。孩子有了，后期的再創作就像是培養自己的孩子成才一樣，心里有數，只是讓他安靜美好的成長。到現在為止，我的背包里，永遠有一支筆和一個速寫本，所有的生活間隙，畫上幾筆，這便是一天的精神食糧。想到來菲律賓的時候不知道面對的是什么樣的困難或危險，但我知道，我要去看，去行走，去深入生活，去感受，去畫畫和寫字，記錄生命的過程。突然想到農夫山泉的廣告詞：“我們不生產水,我們只是大自然的搬運工!”我不是在憑空想象，我也不能對著電腦畫畫，我只是在用我的畫筆記錄，我看到的，感受到的，用我的生命，用我的足跡，用我的心表達我對這個世界的愛，表現這個世界的美好。我將一生行走在畫畫的路上，用一只筆來記錄靈魂到過的地方。2014.12.14午夜11點

Walking on the Painting Road in Life

Before I upload the picture, see friends on the poles in the space in the sketch, commented: "how to shoot? Classical, black and white, pure quiet!" I said it was a picture, he said: "it was taken, the original is personally painted, good ah! Must praise!!" I want to show him..

I see him today, I brought a sketch book to him. Finally, he said: "the painting is such as the person, I only see four pictures in his chatting room, after watching, I think much, I know that you draw, as if I can feel your mood from the picture. Today I saw the sketch book so much, as if I see your thought process in Philippines". Then, friends said modestly: "I do not know what painting ah, just nonsense." I said: "the real art is not for the specialist, it is normal life in common thing, as I painted the poles, they are true there, in the streets of Baguio City, in the years of history, my brush just a record, or my pen is inside my thinking." He said: "the first time is backwards to see, the second time is to see from your first painting to the end. I could feel your inner struggles, see your picture in different, your struggle may not just this seemingly chaotic and orderly wire, it is the thing outside of the wire, perhaps the work, life and emotion - - - - - -what I said is not good, because the only visual impression, and no more understanding of yours. From the composition to the way of expression, and joined the elements of China, this is not something in Philippines." I said: "yes, before I was drawing painting scenery in Baguio , colorful buildings, narrow alleys, halfway up the mountain villa, cabins, metal housing, as the fairy tale told in hillside color house... Suddenly one day, I was interested in the wire rod in the street, and began to draw.. The painting is more, the pen may be not just wire rod, but my life in the epitome of 30 years." a friend said: "from the painting ,I can see your mood and heart to express feelings." I said: "perhaps at the first beginning I draw poles at that time, I was depressed, helpless, disappointed, for the sake of trumped up charges hurt yourself. To shut oneself in an invisible cage, the decadent and barren waste of time, or the sleep scores of dreams and reality. Most of the time, only painting, quiet and beautiful, as if the people around the crowd have nothing to do with me, the storm had nothing to do with me, life and death have nothing to do with me, and about my painting and I must follow the sketch, I want to look at me in the scene and find the excitement point, choosing a frame image is just like meeting a love at first sight, then a pen strokes down, I can see I draw the object with the soul, and I exchange and dialogue. Therefore, after I finish my work, I walk in the streets of Baguio, I feel the local conditions and customs, with my pen, careful record of eyes to see, skin feels, Baguio City wind, cloud, rain, dew, fog, Baguio City landscape, trees, distance from the house, the setting sun, sun, with a measured pace a canvas or along the map to walk. Colleagues do not understand my hard, saying that you can take pictures of the camera, staying in the room to draw much better, a girl, carrying a bag out and tired and dangerous. I can't refute this discourse, it is like you miss your lover, would you like to look at his photo??I said: "in front of the picture is good, my painting is my lover, and chat with me, whisper, and I embrace, lingering, only when the sketch to find such a feeling, in front of a computer screen, like looking at a distant lover photos. Only in a daze.?Cobar Gregory said: 'if anything happens for me, it's not a tragedy because I'm doing what I love to do.. It's a gift to go to sleep and to love tomorrow. " Yes, the colleagues might really is worried about my safety. He even said, you indifferent when painting will not attacked from behind you? What is! I have never thought of such a thing, my painting is good, what I wrote is beautiful, I do things, but also beautiful, I believe the goodness of the world. So I said, like Gregory Cobar said, if I were dead in the drawing, the life is the happiest thing without any regrets.

Now, many artists has not conforming to sketch, perhaps is the high-tech developed today, you want what kind of digital effects a beat, later, simply copy and then brush, too easy, labor saving and high yield, why to the sketch? Maybe one day, one month, expose to the weather and rain. I often shoulder tucked umbrella in one hand and take sketch the hand holding the brush, may draw a sketch to three hours maybe more, after drawing the whole body is stiff, but see strokes to follow your heart, on the front of the scene description, life is full of power. Remember when I was in the University, the most unforgettable memories is a year with half a month to sketch in the mountains, back on the drawing board on my back, with dry food, draw in the Taihang Mountains, a painting a day, at that time, pure, only between the mountains and rivers and landscape fusion together of our youth. Every piece of sketch, perhaps it is not good enough, not mature, but as my own children, how is good, like you, unlike the others, is not a film or digital recording, not everyone is almost the same scenery copy. The child has, and later re creation is like to develop their own children's talent, Heart, just let him quiet and beautiful growth. Up to now, my backpack, there is always a pen and a sketchbook, between all the life, painting a few strokes, which is a day of spiritual food.

?When I come here, I do not know what kind of difficult or dangerous things I will face in Philippines, but I know, I want to go to see, to walk, to go deep into life, to feel, to draw and write and record of the life process.?Suddenly thought of Farmer’s spring's ad: "we do not produce water, we are just the nature of Porter." I'm not imagined, I can't draw in front of the computer, I just record of my brush, I see, feel, with my life, my footprint, with my heart expression my love to the world, the goodness of the world.?I will walk on the road in my life and record my soul in a pen..

6?Z&??