17 High School Urban Legends We Want to Believe
Written by Elain Atwell
There is a world underneath the world of education. Messages embedded in the static of the morning announcements, treasures hiding in the chalkboard dust, and a secret set of rules known only to a few. You may have heard of some of these classroom legends, but others are known only to those on the fringes. Welcome to the Dark Side.
在教育世界之下還有另外一個世界。清晨訓話靜靜傳達的信息，埋藏在黑板粉塵下的寶藏，以及鮮為人知的秘密規則。你可能聽過一些課堂傳說，但是其他人肯只知其一不知其二。歡迎來到黑暗面！
1. If a teacher is more than fifteen minutes late to class, everyone is allowed to leave.
如果一位老師遲到超過15分鐘，所有學生都可以離開教室。
2. If a teacher is more than fifteen minutes late to two successive classes, everyone is allowed to write the remainder of the semester's assignments in emojis.
如果一位老師連續兩節課遲到超過15分鐘，所有學生可以在本學期的作業用表情寫上提醒。
3. All notes confiscated by teachers become the intellectual property of the school under United States copyright law. (This is what happened with Catcher In The Rye.)
美國版權法規定，教師隨堂筆記都屬于學校的知識產權，應予以充公。
4. If a teacher's bonus test questions are deemed insufficiently difficult, they will be fired (or forced to coach volleyball). 如果教師福利評估測試問題回答過于簡單，他們就會被炒魷魚，或者去教排球。
5. EVERYTHING is on your permanent record. Even the thoughts so shameful you would deny having had them. It's all there.
你的一切信息都會被永遠記錄。即便你會否認那些令人羞恥的想法，但它會出現在你的記錄冊上。
6. The chicken nuggets are made out of every student who ever asked what the chicken nuggets are made out of.
當每個學生被問及雞塊有什么制成的時候，這位學生就不知所云了。
7. If you fill in test bubbles with a number three pencil, your answer sheet will be flagged by the NSA.
如果你使用3號鉛筆寫考試試卷，你的答題紙將被美國安全局盯上。
8. Under every set of gym bleachers is a tunnel. It is a subject of ongoing debate whether it leads to hell or Hogwarts.
在每組漂白劑下面都是一個隧道，這是一個關乎它將通往地獄還是霍格華茲的討論。
9. All students with perfect attendance get an ice cream party, but the ice cream is fat free and they have to eat EVERY BITE.
所有全勤的學生可以開一個冰淇淋派對，但冰淇淋必須是零脂肪，并且他們必須一口口吃掉。
10. Algebra does not exist.
壓根兒沒學過代數。
11. All band teachers have secret P.O. boxes where they receive envelopes stuffed with cash from flute manufacturers.
所有樂隊老師都擁有很多秘密郵箱。這些郵箱都用于接受弦樂制造商寄來的現金紅包。
13. A small but significant portion of vice principals are graduates of a failed 1980s government program that offered convicted felons the choice of prison or the educational system.
一小部分位高權重的副校長都畢業于20世紀80年代的一項政府計劃。該計劃提供給認罪的重罪犯兩個選擇，要么繼續坐牢，要么進入教育系統。
14. It is widely acknowledged among educators that there is no information of value in the second grade curriculum.
眾所周知，對于教育者而言，課程第二版全是無用信息。
15. When enough baking soda volcanoes have been turned in as science projects, it will trigger the eruption of an actual supervolcano, which will end all life on planet Earth. No one knows what the number is, but we are believed to be getting close.
當烘烤蘇打水火山做成科學項目時，它將引發一次真正毀滅地球的超級火山爆發。沒人知道最高值是多少，但是我們相信距離它很近了。
16. Teacher workdays are—never mind; it's better you don't know.
老師的辦公時間是--不用知道。你最好不要知道為好。
17. If a teacher is more than fifteen minutes late three times in a semester, the school must shut down. It belongs to the crows now.
如果教師一學期遲到15分鐘三次，那么這所學校必須關閉。因為它現在早就變成了放牛場。
